The Weekly Muse
Two grouse - or should that be two grice?
Awaiting final orders
Both noted that the Twelfth had passed
As dawn came to the Borders
A cancelled shoot, poor breeding stocks,
The Birds in buoyant mood
With months of freedom looming
And Viagra in their food
They idly scanned the papers
While lounging in a thicket
When one jumped up, saying "Bloody hell!
We've only won the cricket."
Continuing to brouse, he read.
"These chicken farmers say
That playing your birds some music
Means you get a better lay."
"Oh really?" Said the other grouse
"I've never been a fan.
D' you want a shot of whiskey?
I've got some 'Famous Man'".
Meanwhile, in Wordsworth country
With Kendall Mint in bag
I went in search of daffodils
And almost scored some skag
It hasn't changed a bit, I thought
The police don't seem too keen
But Coleridge and De Quincey
Would have dug this crazy scene
Abroad the Russian markets
Are heading for a fall
And "Zippergate" in U.S.A.
Continues to enthral
Since lawyers for The President
Are gambling on success
It's looking like a toss-up now
On Ms. Lewinsky's dress
And this just in: "More Trains Run Late."
Wrong type of firms behind them
"Three million women drink too much."
I wish that I could find them.
Declare your outside interests?
The Lords are keeping quiet.
The planet's hot. The summer's not.
And mink are running riot
The news from I.Q. City
Oxford Dictionary-wise
Is tough on old grammarians
Who won't acclimatise
To boldly go and split infinitives
Strangely is now okay
But it also crocks my metre and cadences
So I promise not do it after today.
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