THEATRE / Water Music - Cockpit, London NW8

Competition for last year's Verity Bargate Award must have been very poor for this misshapen fantasy to nab the prize. Set on a sordid seafront in the Sixties, Lyndon Morgans' exasperating play tells of the love of ageing hot-dog seller Albert Jug (David Ryall) for young dominatrix Monique (Dervla Kirwan). Albert is a foul-mouthed old brute; Moni is a cold, weary and disgusted whip-cracker. It is clear that a happy ending is impossible, so the plot meanders off, remaining infuriatingly non-committal over Albert's futile obsession and the town's chirpy sex-and-chips mentality.

These equivocations saturate the characterisations. The dialogue is a mixture of cod-lyricism and ornate gutter language: since none of the cast members manages to find an appropriate tone, the result is overkill. But one can hardly blame even this stalwart cast (Linda Baron, Elizabeth Estensen) for failing to enliven the weirdos and brassy old tarts Morgans writes for them. Keith Boak directs with a flaccid hand, which seems entirely appropriate.

To 17 October (071-402 5081)