Seinfeld at 25: The show's best quotes
'Jerry, just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it'
Seinfeld first aired 25 years ago this week, and would go on to inspire legions of imitators and disciples.
It also made a load of us laugh.
Below, we celebrate the juiciest lines from Jerry and co.
Elaine Benes: "I'm not a lesbian. I hate men, but I'm not a lesbian" –
George Costanza: "I have a bad feeling that whenever a lesbian looks at me they think 'That's why I'm not a heterosexual.'"
George Costanza: "I've driven women to lesbianism before, but never a mental institution"
George Costanza: "You know I always wanted to pretend I was an architect"
George Costanza: "Borrowing money from a friend is like having sex. It just completely changes the relationship.”
Jerry Seinfeld: “You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You're telling the world, 'I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.'”
Jason Alexander as George Costanza, Jerry Seinfeld as himself, Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Elaine Benes and Michael Richards as Cosmo Kramer George Costanza: “When you look annoyed all the time, people think that you're busy.”
Jerry Seinfeld: “That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.”
George Costanza: “This woman hates me so much, I'm starting to like her.”
George Costanza: “I spend so much time trying to get their clothes off, I never thought of taking mine off.”
Jerry Seinfeld as himself, Michael Richards as Cosmo Kramer George Costanza: “If you can't say something bad about a relationship you shouldn't say anything at all.”
Kramer: “I need the secure packaging of Jockeys. My boys need a house!”
George Costanza: "The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli..."
Jerry Seinfeld: “Elaine, breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push; you gotta rock it back and forth a few times and then it goes over.”
Jerry Seinfeld: "Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it. It's too risky. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away."
Jerry Seinfeld as himself and Jason Alexander as George Costanza Frank Costanza: "You have the chicken, the hen, and the rooster. The chicken goes with the hen... So who is having sex with the rooster?"
George Costanza: "I lie every second of the day. My whole life is a sham."
Newman: Just remember, when you control the mail, you control... information."
George Costanza: "I don't think I've ever been to an appointment in my life where I wanted the other guy to show up."
Jerry Seinfeld: "You, my friend, have crossed the line between man and bum."
Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Elaine Benes George Costanza: "You should've seen her face. It was the exact same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist."
Jerry Seinfeld: "Did you know that the original title for War and Peace was War, What Is It Good For?"
Jerry Seinfeld: "Sex, that’s meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner; that’s heavy. That’s like an hour."
George Costanza: "Jerry, just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it."
Film The critics but sneer but these unfashionable festive films are our favourites
TV We're so close to knowing what happened to Oliver Hughes, but a last-minute bluff crushes expectations
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 Nigel Farage: Me vs Russell Brand on Question Time – he's got the chest hair but where are his ideas?
- 2 Harry Potter fans can apply to the Hogwarts-inspired College of Wizardry
- 3 Jessica Chambers: 19-year-old woman 'doused with lighter fluid and burned alive' in the US
- 4 Russell Brand calls Nigel Farage 'poundshop Enoch Powell' in BBC Question Time debate
- 5 Orange Wednesdays are no more
Peter Lik: The self-proclaimed 'fine-art photographer' whose work sells for millions
The best underrated Christmas movies from Love, Actually to While You Were Sleeping
Grace Dent on TV: The Lost Honour of Christopher Jefferies was a beautifully shot, immensely considered drama
The Lost Honour of Christopher Jefferies, review: Jason Watkins is brilliant, but real victim Joanna Yeates is reduced to a footnote
Marilyn Manson denies involvement in shocking Lana Del Rey rape video
Nigel Farage: Me vs Russell Brand on Question Time – he's got the chest hair but where are his ideas?
Shock poll shows voters believe Ukip is to the left of the Tories
Disgruntled RBS worker writes hilarious open letter to Russell Brand after anti-capitalist publicity stunt leaves him hungry
New era of cheap oil 'will destroy green revolution'
Ukip founder Alan Sked and Nigel Farage 'begged Enoch Powell to stand as a candidate'
Ukip candidate jokes about 'shooting peasants' in racist and homophobic rant