What's turning kids off the BBC?

Children's BBC is in crisis, according to a report from the corporation itself this week. A review of the BBC's kids' offerings found audience numbers are now at all-time lows - especially for the jewel in its crown Blue Peter, viewers for which are more than 50 per cent down on the average during 2007.

So what's going on? The BBC says bringing children's telly forward by 20 minutes to accommodate The Weakest Link is partly to blame for the decline in junior viewer figures – at 3.30pm, the time CBBC cranks into life, many kids are still trudging home from primary school.

But there's more to it than timing. For many children, like my own, the default channel is one of the many US offerings which are now filtered into the nation's sitting rooms. Miranda, ten, and Catriona, seven, barely know CBBC – they prefer the Disney Channel and Nickelodeon. So what would they make of the BBC's kids' output? For one afternoon, they agreed to keep away from the zapper, and stay tuned to the Beeb...

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3.30pm: Bear Behaving Badly

The kids' primary school finishes at 3.15pm, and it's only down the road...but it's still 3.40pm by the time we make it onto the sofa, so we've already missed five minutes of the first programme. "Why do they put kids' programmes on when we're still at school?" asks Catriona innocently. More to the point, what on earth is this show about? It looks more like Men Behaving Badly, with blokes dressed up as cavaliers. Then a couple of knitted puppets hove into view, followed by a granny in a Viking outfit who appears to be on the loo. "I definitely don't understand all this," says Miranda, adding charitably that "it's probably because we missed the start". Hmm. "We'd normally be watching Zack and Cody on the Disney Channel," says Catriona. Wistfully.

3.50pm: Eliot Kid

Neither of my children has ever encountered Eliot Kid before, but they're open to the experience. The eponymous hero is a cartoon boy whose dad is a dab hand at inventing household gadgets - but whenever the adults' backs are turned, the gadgets turn on them. "I liked the bit where the dishwasher tried to murder the dad," says Miranda, approvingly "I like scary programmes." Yup - they'd both watch this again.

4.05pm: Hotel Trubble

What's going on? First it was Men Behaving Badly masquerading as a puppet show, now it's Fawlty Towers getting a revival for the under-12s. There's no John Cleese, (although you do expect him to pop up at every turn), but otherwise it's all there – the action in the lobby, the mad guests, the madder staff, even the bell on the reception desk. The jokes make me groan - Guest: "The telephone in my room is out of order." Receptionist: "Why, what did it say?" - but make my ten-year-old laugh with gusto. The only diversion from the Fawlty paradigm seems to be that part of the action takes place, weirdly, in a shopping centre.Still, the kids don't care. Catriona laughs so much she falls off the sofa.

4.35pm: Blue Peter

Miranda has seen this before, but Catriona (astonishingly) hasn't. Tonight's show features a conjuror (thumbs up from magic-mad Miranda), a karate demonstration and – ta-da! – a long item on the Husky Dog Racing Championships. "Aww!" chorus Miranda and Catriona – both of them ask for a dog on a daily basis. "Please, puhleeeze can we have a dog?" asks Miranda. "And can it be a husky?" Just as I'm about to reach for the remote, there's respite. "Now," says BP presenter Helen firmly. "Huskies might look fabulous, but they're really, really difficult to look after. Twice the trouble of a normal dog." This is what I call public service broadcasting. And my girls are hooked. "Can we watch it again tomorrow?" asks Catriona.

5.05pm: Newsround

The children's news show - with reports from fire-ravaged Australia and an item on stranded dolphins in the Philippines - gets the nod from Miranda. The final item, though, mystifies her. "Children were again off school today in the West Country because of snow," says the presenter "But the good news is that the bad weather is easing off tomorrow." "Good news?" says Miranda. "She wouldn't say that if she was our age."