An idiotic father lends his 16-year-old the keys to his Audi A6. He speeds to his school prom, dateless, kisses the prom queen, gets a black eye from her boyfriend and then speeds home "victorious". The lesson? Driving an Audi will get you punched.
Verdict: Defensive tackle!
Jamaica! Where everyone's happy, er, mon! The German car giant has "won" previous Super Bowl ad battles (remember The Force ad from 2011?) but has caused furrowed brows with "Get In. Get Happy", which sees a Midwestern American talking in a Jamaican patois to cheer everyone up. "Wicked coffee, Mr Jim!" Hmm. Jamaica – which has a plenty of non-black minorities – isn't as bothered as some Americans, its Tourism Minister said: "I think this is a very creative commercial which truly taps into the tremendous appeal [of] brand Jamaica."
Verdict: Missed field goal (with three seconds on the clock)
The sugar giant's ad features three teams – cowboys, showgirls and bandleaders – racing each other to a giant mirage of a Coke bottle. The ad was released online last week with viewers voting for the team they wanted to be the winner. Er, hurray for soft drink interactivity! Has been criticised by Arab-Americans for its depiction of an Arab walking through the desert. Take that, VW!
The advertising equivalent of lighting a fag with a £50 note, Mercedes' teaser for a new model plays "Sympathy for the Devil" as a "mysterious force" runs through New Orleans. The car-maker joins Microsoft ("Start Me Up") and Sony ("She's a Rainbow") in funding Mick Jagger's yoga classes for the next decade and a half. bit.ly/mercedessuperbowlad
Verdict: Field goal!
Called "Grampa Goes Wild" – here an old man races chaotically around an American football field on his mobility scooter like Ayrton Senna round the Nürburgring (a po-faced caption warns "don't do this"). No tacos are shown. bit.ly/tacobellsuperbowl