REVIEW: Is there a father in the house?

It may have been part of Channel 4's "Black Christmas" season, but it was a wicked fairy who put Baby Fathers in the Yule schedule. At a time of year when we celebrate the birth of a child of doubtful paternity, here was a whole programme about ch ildrenin a similar position. If Joseph the carpenter had popped up in the procreative front line of Jamaica 2,000 years later, he would probably have suffered the indignity of a blood test to prove that he was indeed the father of the Son of God.

At a season when you can't move for movies, this was not necessarily the fare you'd seek out, but anyone who did was rewarded with something that sucked you in. Although half the programme could have done with subtitling, there is something powerfully seductive in the Jamaican accent even when pronouncing alien words like "monogamy". "Now 'e's an henemy of de family," one mother told the court, pricelessly, "because of 'is hattitude." Jamaicans obviously find the accent seductive, because s eduction seems to be a national sport second only to knocking the blocks off English cricketers. Hence the proliferation of paternity suits.

Another attraction was the chance to see justice in action in a context that couldn't be more different from the lapidary proceedings in The Trial, BBC 2's recent series about the Scottish courts. The family court here was not an imposing stone pile fronted by neo-classical columns, but a colourful shanty shack. Inside, the courtroom had just about enough room for the camera.

One baby father, who was there to prove that two of his girlfriend's three children were not his, wore sunglasses throughout. Perhaps because neither of them could afford lawyers, they were allowed to cross-examine each other, thus draining the hearing of whatever residual formality it may have had. The dialogue winged you straight back to improv workshops in the DramSoc.

In one hilarious vignette, a couple in dispute over child support were routinely, almost lazily, rowing, and the camera swung round to focus on their lawyers, standing bang next to them and erectly negotiating their next move.

But the conventionally rigid dividing line between the clients and representatives of the law, illustrated there, was frequently breached on both sides. The father of the three children was told that as he had helped bring them up, he had admitted de facto paternity. "That's a hard one for you to get out of, Mr . . . er . . . Bennett," said the female judge, hastily glancing down at her notes. In the other two cases, the lawyers acting for the baby fathers weren't exactly paragons of professional reserve: one was quite baldly in it for the money, while the other was openly gleeful when his client maliciously provoked a rival and got him locked up for the night.

It wouldn't stand up in court, but there's quite a good case to be made for laying the blame for this unholy social mess at England's door. Slaves were absolved of all responsibility for the children they sired, and this has seeped into the island's sexual psyche. At the end of each court session you still hear the invocation "God save the Queen", so they obviously haven't forgotten us.

Whoever's to blame, this was a tale from which it was difficult to extract cause for optimism or behaviour to admire. One man claimed that the only difference between Jamaicans and other males is their openness: honesty has never sounded less like a virtue. Anwar Batti's alert film was content to observe rather than enquire, and omitted to make any mention of the sufferings visited on the children. It's them you feel sorry for. When the child was taken round to the man demanding access whose paternity was proved by a blood test, she clung feebly to her mother's leg, the ball in a national sport in which no one wins.

Arts and Entertainment
Nick Hewer is to leave The Apprentice after 10 years

TV review Nick Hewer, the man whose eyebrows speak a thousand words, is set to leave The Apprentice

Arts and Entertainment
Female fans want more explicit male sex in Game of Thrones, George R R Martin says

film George RR Martin owns a cinema in Santa Fe

Arts and Entertainment
Clued up: John Lynch and Gillian Anderson in ‘The Fall’

TV review

Arts and Entertainment
The Baker (James Corden) struggles with Lilla Crawford’s Little Red Riding Hood

film...all the better to bamboozle us
Arts and Entertainment
English: Romantic Landscape

Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Arts and Entertainment

ebooksNow available in paperback
Arts and Entertainment

Arts and Entertainment
Mark, Katie and Sanjay in The Apprentice boardroom
Arts and Entertainment

Film The critics but sneer but these unfashionable festive films are our favourites

Arts and Entertainment
Frances O'Connor and James Nesbitt in 'The Missing'

TV We're so close to knowing what happened to Oliver Hughes, but a last-minute bluff crushes expectations

Arts and Entertainment
Joey Essex will be hitting the slopes for series two of The Jump


Who is taking the plunge?
Arts and Entertainment
Katy Perry as an Ancient Egyptian princess in her latest music video for 'Dark Horse'

Arts and Entertainment
Dame Judi Dench, as M in Skyfall

Arts and Entertainment
Morrissey, 1988

Arts and Entertainment
William Pooley from Suffolk is flying out to Free Town, Sierra Leone, to continue working in health centres to fight Ebola after surviving the disease himself

Arts and Entertainment
The Newsroom creator Aaron Sorkin

Arts and Entertainment
Matt Berry (centre), the star of Channel 4 sitcom 'Toast of London'

TVA disappointingly dull denouement
Arts and Entertainment
Tales from the cryptanalyst: Benedict Cumberbatch in 'The Imitation Game'

Arts and Entertainment
Pixie Lott has been voted off Strictly Come Dancing 2014

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?

ES Rentals

    Independent Dating

    By clicking 'Search' you
    are agreeing to our
    Terms of Use.

    Homeless Veterans appeal: 'You look for someone who's an inspiration and try to be like them'

    Homeless Veterans appeal

    In 2010, Sgt Gary Jamieson stepped on an IED in Afghanistan and lost his legs and an arm. He reveals what, and who, helped him to make a remarkable recovery
    Could cannabis oil reverse the effects of cancer?

    Could cannabis oil reverse effects of cancer?

    As a film following six patients receiving the controversial treatment is released, Kate Hilpern uncovers a very slippery issue
    The Interview movie review: You can't see Seth Rogen and James Franco's Kim Jong Un assassination film, but you can read about it here

    The Interview movie review

    You can't see Seth Rogen and James Franco's Kim Jong Un assassination film, but you can read about it here
    Serial mania has propelled podcasts into the cultural mainstream

    How podcasts became mainstream

    People have consumed gripping armchair investigation Serial with a relish typically reserved for box-set binges
    Jesus Christ has become an unlikely pin-up for hipster marketing companies

    Jesus Christ has become an unlikely pin-up

    Kevin Lee Light, aka "Jesus", is the newest client of creative agency Mother while rival agency Anomaly has launched Sexy Jesus, depicting the Messiah in a series of Athena-style poses
    Rosetta space mission voted most important scientific breakthrough of 2014

    A memorable year for science – if not for mice

    The most important scientific breakthroughs of 2014
    Christmas cocktails to make you merry: From eggnog to Brown Betty and Rum Bumpo

    Christmas cocktails to make you merry

    Mulled wine is an essential seasonal treat. But now drinkers are rediscovering other traditional festive tipples. Angela Clutton raises a glass to Christmas cocktails
    5 best activity trackers

    Fitness technology: 5 best activity trackers

    Up the ante in your regimen and change the habits of a lifetime with this wearable tech
    Paul Scholes column: It's a little-known fact, but I have played one of the seven dwarves

    Paul Scholes column

    It's a little-known fact, but I have played one of the seven dwarves
    Fifa's travelling circus once again steals limelight from real stars

    Fifa's travelling circus once again steals limelight from real stars

    Club World Cup kicked into the long grass by the continued farce surrounding Blatter, Garcia, Russia and Qatar
    Frank Warren column: 2014 – boxing is back and winning new fans

    Frank Warren: Boxing is back and winning new fans

    2014 proves it's now one of sport's biggest hitters again
    Jeb Bush vs Hillary Clinton: The power dynamics of the two first families

    Jeb Bush vs Hillary Clinton

    Karen Tumulty explores the power dynamics of the two first families
    Stockholm is rivalling Silicon Valley with a hotbed of technology start-ups

    Stockholm is rivalling Silicon Valley

    The Swedish capital is home to two of the most popular video games in the world, as well as thousands of technology start-ups worth hundreds of millions of pounds – and it's all happened since 2009
    Did Japanese workers really get their symbols mixed up and display Santa on a crucifix?

    Crucified Santa: Urban myth refuses to die

    The story goes that Japanese store workers created a life-size effigy of a smiling "Father Kurisumasu" attached to a facsimile of Our Lord's final instrument of torture
    Jennifer Saunders and Kate Moss join David Walliams on set for TV adaptation of The Boy in the Dress

    The Boy in the Dress: On set with the stars

    Walliams' story about a boy who goes to school in a dress will be shown this Christmas