REVIEW: Is there a father in the house?

It may have been part of Channel 4's "Black Christmas" season, but it was a wicked fairy who put Baby Fathers in the Yule schedule. At a time of year when we celebrate the birth of a child of doubtful paternity, here was a whole programme about ch ildrenin a similar position. If Joseph the carpenter had popped up in the procreative front line of Jamaica 2,000 years later, he would probably have suffered the indignity of a blood test to prove that he was indeed the father of the Son of God.

At a season when you can't move for movies, this was not necessarily the fare you'd seek out, but anyone who did was rewarded with something that sucked you in. Although half the programme could have done with subtitling, there is something powerfully seductive in the Jamaican accent even when pronouncing alien words like "monogamy". "Now 'e's an henemy of de family," one mother told the court, pricelessly, "because of 'is hattitude." Jamaicans obviously find the accent seductive, because s eduction seems to be a national sport second only to knocking the blocks off English cricketers. Hence the proliferation of paternity suits.

Another attraction was the chance to see justice in action in a context that couldn't be more different from the lapidary proceedings in The Trial, BBC 2's recent series about the Scottish courts. The family court here was not an imposing stone pile fronted by neo-classical columns, but a colourful shanty shack. Inside, the courtroom had just about enough room for the camera.

One baby father, who was there to prove that two of his girlfriend's three children were not his, wore sunglasses throughout. Perhaps because neither of them could afford lawyers, they were allowed to cross-examine each other, thus draining the hearing of whatever residual formality it may have had. The dialogue winged you straight back to improv workshops in the DramSoc.

In one hilarious vignette, a couple in dispute over child support were routinely, almost lazily, rowing, and the camera swung round to focus on their lawyers, standing bang next to them and erectly negotiating their next move.

But the conventionally rigid dividing line between the clients and representatives of the law, illustrated there, was frequently breached on both sides. The father of the three children was told that as he had helped bring them up, he had admitted de facto paternity. "That's a hard one for you to get out of, Mr . . . er . . . Bennett," said the female judge, hastily glancing down at her notes. In the other two cases, the lawyers acting for the baby fathers weren't exactly paragons of professional reserve: one was quite baldly in it for the money, while the other was openly gleeful when his client maliciously provoked a rival and got him locked up for the night.

It wouldn't stand up in court, but there's quite a good case to be made for laying the blame for this unholy social mess at England's door. Slaves were absolved of all responsibility for the children they sired, and this has seeped into the island's sexual psyche. At the end of each court session you still hear the invocation "God save the Queen", so they obviously haven't forgotten us.

Whoever's to blame, this was a tale from which it was difficult to extract cause for optimism or behaviour to admire. One man claimed that the only difference between Jamaicans and other males is their openness: honesty has never sounded less like a virtue. Anwar Batti's alert film was content to observe rather than enquire, and omitted to make any mention of the sufferings visited on the children. It's them you feel sorry for. When the child was taken round to the man demanding access whose paternity was proved by a blood test, she clung feebly to her mother's leg, the ball in a national sport in which no one wins.

Arts and Entertainment
Chloe-Jasmine Whicello impressed the judges and the audience at Wembley Arena with a sultry performance
TVReview: Who'd have known Simon was such a Roger Rabbit fan?
News
Rumer was diagnosed with bipolarity, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder: 'I was convinced it was a misdiagnosis'
peopleHer debut album caused her post-traumatic stress - how will she cope as she releases her third record?
Arts and Entertainment
Nick Frost will star in the Doctor Who 2014 Christmas special

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Friends is celebrating its 20th anniversary this year
TV
Arts and Entertainment
A spell in the sun: Emma Stone and Colin Firth star in ‘Magic in the Moonlight’
filmReview: Magic In The Moonlight
PROMOTED VIDEO
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Arts and Entertainment
Maisie Williams plays 'bad ass' Arya Stark in Game of Thrones

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Liam Neeson said he wouldn't

TV
Arts and Entertainment

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Meera Syal was a member of the team that created Goodness Gracious Me

TV
Arts and Entertainment
The former Doctor Who actor is to play a vicar is search of a wife

film
Arts and Entertainment

music
Arts and Entertainment
Pointless host Alexander Armstrong will voice Danger Mouse on CBBC

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Pharrell dismissed the controversy surrounding

music
Arts and Entertainment
Jack Huston is the new Ben-Hur

film
Arts and Entertainment

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Cara Delevingne modelling

film
Arts and Entertainment
Emma Thompson and Bryn Terfel are bringing Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street to the London Coliseum

theatre
Arts and Entertainment
Sheridan Smith as Cilla Black

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Robin Thicke's video for 'Blurred Lines' has been criticised for condoning rape

Robin Thicke admits he didn't write 'Blurred Lines'

music
Arts and Entertainment
While many films were released, few managed to match the success of James Bond blockbuster 'Skyfall'

film
Arts and Entertainment
Matt Damon as Jason Bourne in The Bourne Ultimatum (2007)

film
Arts and Entertainment
Sheridan Smith as Cilla Black

Review: Cilla, ITV TV
Arts and Entertainment

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Tom Hardy stars with Cillian Murphy in Peaky Blinders II

TV
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?

ES Rentals

    Independent Dating
    and  

    By clicking 'Search' you
    are agreeing to our
    Terms of Use.

    Scottish referendum: The Yes vote was the love that dared speak its name, but it was not to be

    Despite the result, this is the end of the status quo

    Boyd Tonkin on the fall-out from the Scottish referendum
    Manolo Blahnik: The high priest of heels talks flats, Englishness, and why he loves Mary Beard

    Manolo Blahnik: Flats, Englishness, and Mary Beard

    The shoe designer who has been dubbed 'the patron saint of the stiletto'
    The Beatles biographer reveals exclusive original manuscripts of some of the best pop songs ever written

    Scrambled eggs and LSD

    Behind The Beatles' lyrics - thanks to Hunter Davis's original manuscript copies
    'Normcore' fashion: Blending in is the new standing out in latest catwalk non-trend

    'Normcore': Blending in is the new standing out

    Just when fashion was in grave danger of running out of trends, it only went and invented the non-trend. Rebecca Gonsalves investigates
    Dance’s new leading ladies fight back: How female vocalists are now writing their own hits

    New leading ladies of dance fight back

    How female vocalists are now writing their own hits
    Mystery of the Ground Zero wedding photo

    A shot in the dark

    Mystery of the wedding photo from Ground Zero
    His life, the universe and everything

    His life, the universe and everything

    New biography sheds light on comic genius of Douglas Adams
    Save us from small screen superheroes

    Save us from small screen superheroes

    Shows like Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D are little more than marketing tools
    Reach for the skies

    Reach for the skies

    From pools to football pitches, rooftop living is looking up
    These are the 12 best hotel spas in the UK

    12 best hotel spas in the UK

    Some hotels go all out on facilities; others stand out for the sheer quality of treatments
    These Iranian-controlled Shia militias used to specialise in killing American soldiers. Now they are fighting Isis, backed up by US airstrikes

    Widespread fear of Isis is producing strange bedfellows

    Iranian-controlled Shia militias that used to kill American soldiers are now fighting Isis, helped by US airstrikes
    Topshop goes part Athena poster, part last spring Prada

    Topshop goes part Athena poster, part last spring Prada

    Shoppers don't come to Topshop for the unique
    How to make a Lego masterpiece

    How to make a Lego masterpiece

    Toy breaks out of the nursery and heads for the gallery
    Meet the ‘Endies’ – city dwellers who are too poor to have fun

    Meet the ‘Endies’ – city dwellers who are too poor to have fun

    Urbanites are cursed with an acronym pointing to Employed but No Disposable Income or Savings
    Paisley’s decision to make peace with IRA enemies might remind the Arabs of Sadat

    Ian Paisley’s decision to make peace with his IRA enemies

    His Save Ulster from Sodomy campaign would surely have been supported by many a Sunni imam