With a set like an explosion in a Cath Kidston shop, a quiz on Britain is little short of treason

Personally, I'd say that the biggest obstacle to my working in the adult entertainment industry would be telling my mum, "I'm, er, giving up journalism, to go into ...." No, I just couldn't do it.

The Dealership, Channel 4

Neighbourhood Force, ITV

Kumbh Mela: the Greatest Show on Earth, BBC2

Coming Up: Sammy's War, Channel 4

The Mill, Sun, Channel 4 // The Mystery of Rome's X Tombs, Sun, BBC2

An awkward encounter between broadcaster and pop star resulted in squirm-inducing viewing

Janet Hogarth graduated with a First in philosophy from Oxford in the 1890s and became the Bank of England's first female employee. She was given the task of counting cancelled bank notes – a job which entailed six months' training (learning to count, presumably). She eventually moved on, she wrote, "dying of boredom", and worked on Encyclopaedia Brittanica.

In retrospect, of the many macabre vignettes that arose from the Philpott case, perhaps the very strangest was one that took place by appointment with the media. Mick Philpott, leaning against his wife Mairead, a tissue clutched to his eyes, his shoulders shaking, his face cast down: a plausible simulacrum of a man weighed down by grief.

There's a promising start to this new series of the genealogy detection documentary Who Do You Think You Are?. Una Stubbs (Alf Garnett's daughter for the over sixties, and Mrs Hudson in Sherlock for the unders) knows nothing of her paternal grandparents. In fact, she never even knew their Christian names. This, my friends, is what we call WDYTYA pay dirt. What dark secret could be lurking in the local council archives? A convict for a great uncle? An entire second family in the next village over?

Imagine – Woody Allen: a Documentary, BBC1

Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor were monuments going badly to seed by the time they appeared on stage together in Noel Coward’s Private Lives in 1983. Burton died less than a year after the play’s run ended. Taylor was heavily overweight, drinking too much and taking too many pills. This is the period in the two stars’ lives that the BBC’s new biopic covers. It’s a fascinating but very flawed affair.

The last time I cried during prime-time on ITV, Argentinian goalkeeper Carlos Roa had just saved a penalty from David Batty and England's football team were heading back home from Saint-Etienne. Now, I'm not saying that those soapy montages on The X Factor, or whatever, never moved me, but, well, actually, that's exactly what I'm saying. This third series of Long Lost Family had me in puddles. Just like a shanked hoof by an English midfielder. Long Lost Family follows a fairly simple format – researchers find stories of people who've lost their mother/brother/sisters/father and set out to seek and reunite them. Essentially, it's the last five minutes of Surprise, Surprise without Bob Carolgees and Cilla's song.

The course of true love might rarely run smooth for us humans, but The Mating Game proved that for those struggling with singledom in the animal kingdom, it can be even tougher.