Who says television teaches you nothing? For example, I now know, though sadly do not exemplify, the Second Rule of the Beautiful Bottom, as explained by a plastic surgeon on one of Brazil's more popular television shows. Let your arms dangle by your sides... now, "the first metacarpal bone should be in line with the infra gluteal fold". Or in layman's terms, the first bone of your thumb should be level with the horizontal crease below your buttocks. The First Rule of the Beautiful Bottom, in Brazil at least, appears to be If You've Got It Flaunt It, which explains MissBumBum2012, the buttockular talent show that was Daisy Donovan's first port of call in The Greatest Shows on Earth, a new series about global telly.

The White Queen, Sun, BBC1 // Goodbye Granadalan, Sayt, ITV

So it wasn’t two o’clock in the morning and he wasn’t wearing a funny wig – that was Lasith Malinga – but how many times has Kumar Sangakkara wound up England now?

England's footballers have again had their brain cells called into question after flopping in Israel. But now help is at hand: former professional Paul McVeigh has written them a self-help book

Obsessively taping your conversations with a particular person is a suspiciously weird pastime – unless you're an artist. Sebastiane Hegarty is, and his decades' worth of recordings of his mother constitute a powerful exploration of the human condition.

Unsure of global politics since the war? Don't worry, Oliver Stone has it all sewn up

I hadn't heard of the "science of comparison" before last night. As far as I'm aware no Nobel Prizes have been issued in this field and there doesn't appear to be a Centre for the Science of Comparison in Oxford or Leeds or anywhere else for that matter. But I'd certainly heard of it after watching four minutes of Compare Your Life, because the programme's presenter, Carlton Hood, had already used the phrase three times.

Whatever else it has done, The Iraq War, Norma Percy's three-part history of the conflict and its aftermath, has greatly increased our understanding of diplomatic prevarication. Every colour in the spectrum of mendacity makes an appearance in these programmes, from the infra-red of the outright lie to the ultra-violet of polite euphemism.

The Call Centre, BBC3

The new chap was nervous, certainly, but no less funny than his boss

The Fall, BBC2

Terror in the Skies, Sunday Channel 4

View From The Sofa: Isle of Man TT, ITV4

A real-life documentary from a UK office shows a Gervais-style mix of toxic bullying and pranks