Game of Thrones, season 5 episode 5, Kill The Boy, TV review: Ser Jorah faces a rocky road to be reunited with the Queen of Dragons

Kill the Boy: Will the warrior's heavy heart be turned to stone by Greyscale?

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Poor Jorah Mormont. Not only has he had to watch first Khal Drogo then Daario Narahis have their wicked way with his beloved Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clarke), before being banished for disloyalty, but now it looks as if he’s about to succumb to the dreaded Greyscale before he can ever set eyes on the Queen of Dragons again.

Like limescale but for humans, Greyscale is a disease that turns people into ferocious ‘Stone Men’, the likes of which jumped Ser Jorah and Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) as they wound their way through the ancient city of Valyria on a beautiful pea green boat. Iain Glen has been magnificent as the sturdy, monosyllabic Jorah Mormont, one of the great Game of Thrones anchors since Ned Stark's temporary hiatus from the show (I’m still in denial).

I’m a simple man and I’ve been putting all my eggs in the Ser Jorah (and therefore Daenerys) basket ever since we lost Ned (temporarily) and then son Robb ‘two b’s’ Stark. The world of Game of Thrones is far too complex to be boiled down to a black and white ‘goodies vs baddies’ debate but I need a hero to hold onto. Imagine Sharpe without Sharpe. That’s sort of what Game of Thrones is. Anyway, if Ser Jorah is going to be turning into a handsome, gruff statue then I need a new hero.

 

Jon Snow (Kit Harington) might seem an obvious choice but he’s off north (again!) and ultimately he’s a little too monosyllabic, even for my tastes. I could plump for the increasingly badass Sansa Stark (Sophie Turner), who is eventually going to rain down some holy terror on the heads of all that have crossed her. After the loopy Ramsay Bolton’s (Iwan Rheon) decision to re-introduce his betrothed to her old chum Reek (née Theon Greyjoy), I sincerely hope he’s top of Sansa’s list.

But no, for now it is Stannis Baratheon (Stephen Dillane) who has my allegiance. Because he is also a stoic, moody, decent sort with a head for military strategy? No. Because he is really hot on grammar. The Night’s Watch were up in arms at Jon’s suggestion they allow the Wildlings to take refuge south of t’Wall. ‘Let them die’ said one. ‘Less enemies for us.’ ‘Fewer’ said Stannis. Fewer. Oh Stannis, have Winterfell. Have the North. Have it all.

His terrible case of eczema aside, is there even any point in Jorah bringing Tyrion to Dany? Her rule of Meereen has been characterised by indecisiveness, and the speed with which she boomeranged from considering having all the old masters of Meereen executed, to agreeing to their demands and marrying one of them, makes Nigel Farage look positively sluggish. The lady, it seems, is for turning. A lot. Perhaps Tyrion and his lovely beard can be the adviser she so badly needs.

One things for certain, Ser Jorah’s days of mooning over his Khaleesi look numbered. That famously heavy heart is truly about to turn to stone.

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