Last Night's Viewing: Make Bradford British, Channel 4
Our Man in Ibiza, Channel 4

 

If Rashid isn't British, I'm not sure that anyone qualifies. A big, genial ex-rugby league player, he calls an alleyway a "snicket" and says "job's a good'un" when something's gone well. He's about as Bradford as they come – the only awkward detail being that you now have to specify which district of Bradford you're talking about. Channel 4 had chosen one of Britain's most segregated cities for its experiment in multicultural understanding – Make Bradford British – and what it hoped to work out was what common values might unite a citizenry so sharply divided by race and class. It was Big Brother with a social mission – eight pointedly different people invited to share a house and settle their differences, amicably if possible, though obviously a little friction wasn't going to go amiss.

The guinea pigs had been selected from a group of exemplary failures, people who had taken the Government's recently introduced Citizenship Test and flunked (the producers could afford to pick and choose – of 111 original candidates only 11 ruled themselves out by actually passing.) So Maura, a former magistrate and self-styled liberal, turned up to spend a week with Audrey, mixed-race publican, Damon, sheet-metal worker, Jens, the retired policeman, and Rashid, among others. They had all brought their prejudices with them and were encouraged by the organisers to display them rather than keep them to themselves – an invitation over-zealously taken up in some cases.

Intriguingly, the first bust-up was between Rashid and Sabbiyah, both devout Muslims but differing in their interpretation of what true devotion was. Rashid seemed to think that religion was a kind of loyalty-card affair: "A person who prays in congregation gets the reward 25 to 27 times more than a person who prays individually," he explained earnestly. His insistence on popping out to the mosque five times a day to top up his points was soon causing tension, with Sabbiyah getting particularly ratty. To his credit, though, Rashid compromised on his piety when it threatened to disrupt a day trip, settling for a solitary prayer in a car-park instead, a display of religious commitment that made Maura burst into tears.

The programme was never going to solve the problem it set itself. But it did generate some thought-provoking moments, particularly when it came to racial epithets. Audrey stoutly defended her use of the word "Paki" but was then forced to think again after Jens stunned everyone by recalling the collegiate way in which he would invite an Asian colleague to come out for a spot of "Paki-bashing". He also insisted on demonstrating that there was nothing offensive about calling Desmond a "black bastard", provided he accompanied it with a friendly smile and a pat on the back. Jens never quite understood what he'd done wrong, but Audrey did, and suddenly she saw her own name-calling in a different light.

"I'm disgusted with meself," she confessed tearfully. And Desmond, who'd blithely dismissed a lifetime of racist insults in an accent as squarely Yorkshire as Rashid's ("Get it under t'carpet man, put it wi't rest"), acknowledged that there just wasn't any room under the carpet any more. As for definitions of Britishness, I'm not sure anyone came up with anything better than the indignant chap seen thumping a pub table in the opening montage: "I know I'm a British citizen not because I know I'm a British citizen but because I know I'm not anything else".

Another definition might be that you head for the British Consulate when you run into trouble abroad. Channel 4's Our Man in Ibiza followed consular staff on their daily rounds, replacing passports that had been used to scoop up guacamole and assisting those who hadn't quite made it from their fourth-floor balconies into the swimming pool. There must be days when their definition of Britishness is clueless exuberance.

Independent Comment
blog comments powered by Disqus
News in pictures
World news in pictures
Arts & Ents blogs

Question Time with Mathew Jonson

Mathew Jonson has been a hero of mine for quite some time now. His timeless piece, Marionette, was o...

Something For The Weekend in London: May 24-26

We love London for its multiculturalism, so we’re all about that cross-cultural life this weekend by...

Owen Howells: From the UK to Australia and back again (and again!)

Owen Howells is a DJ/producer who grew up in Australia but was born in the UK. He came back to the U...

       
Independent
Travel Shop
Imperial Cities of Morocco
Seven nights half-board from only £799pp Find out more
Historic Sicily
Seven nights half-board from £799pp Find out more
4* all-inclusive Crete
Seven nights from only £399pp Find out more

ES Rentals

    Andrew Mitchell: 'It's no good feeling hard done by'

    Andrew Mitchell: 'It's no good feeling hard done by'

    In his first interview since 'plebgate', the former Chief Whip opens up just enough to concede that, in politics, you have to take the rough with the smooth
    Corruption and the FCO: Blue skies, white sands, dark clouds

    Corruption and the FCO: Blue skies, white sands, dark clouds

    Special report: Met police call for criminal inquiry into former diplomat's Cayman Islands rule
    Fallen angel: Winona Ryder on bouncing back from her decade in the wilderness

    Fallen angel: Winona Ryder bounces back

    She owned the 1990s... but then she disappeared. Now, Ms Ryder is back with quite the bang in her latest role, as the wife of a notorious real-life Mob hitman.
    Roman Polanski shakes Cannes Film Festival

    Roman Polanski shakes Cannes Film Festival

    The director's new film, 'Venus in Fur', is one of the raciest on offer
    Rev Richard Coles: 'I don’t have any concerns that God is cross with me for being gay and eventually the Church won’t either'

    Rev Richard Coles on the Church and homosexuality

    The mellifluous, erudite and witty Coles is the nation's most pop-culture-friendly priest
    'Baghdad likes to live from crisis to crisis': Civil war looms in Iraq

    Patrick Cockburn: Civil war looms in Iraq

    The governor of Kirkuk - one of the country's most violent but successful provinces - fears the worst
    Written on the body: Tattooists at pains to point out their artistic credentials

    Written on the body

    Tattooists at pains to point out their artistic credentials
    Conquering Everest: 60 facts about the world's tallest mountain

    Conquering Everest: 60 facts about the world's tallest mountain

    The IoS marks the sixtieth anniversary of Sir Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay first reaching the peak of the highest mountain on Earth
    A new, and irreversible, Dust Bowl looms

    Rupert Cornwell: A new, and irreversible, Dust Bowl looms

    The destructive power of tornadoes will be as nothing once the Great Plains' vast underground water reserve dries up
    Every creature's needless death diminshes us all

    Philip Hoare: Every creature's needless death diminishes us all

    A 60 per cent decline in our national species should alarm us, yet few of us act. But to mind more about animals would reflect well on society
    Killing with kindness: Burma's religious battleground - and the monks at the heart of it

    Killing with kindness: Burma's religious battleground

    Six years ago, the world cheered the monks behind Burma’s Saffron Revolution. Now, a horrific new eruption of religious slaughter is being blamed on a 'Buddhist Bin Laden'.
    Let's take it outside: Bill Granger's Bank Holiday feast

    Let's take it outside: Bill Granger's Bank Holiday feast

    You can’t always depend on the weather – but you can avoid the pitfalls of the British barbecue by preparing an elaborate outdoor feast indoors ahead of time...
    The Calvin report: Stirring Champions League final shows how far English game must advance

    The Calvin report

    Stirring Champions League final shows how far English game must advance
    10 big questions for the British & Irish Lions to answer

    10 big questions for the British & Irish Lions to answer

    Warren Gatland's squad fly Down Under aiming to do justice to the expectations – and hoping the Wallabies stay in the pub
    The Last Word: Golf must end the hypocrisy before its halo slips totally

    The Last Word

    Golf must end the hypocrisy before its halo slips totally