My Big Fat Asian Wedding, TV review: If you love a good wedding it's like a seat at the top table

It’s only a shame we didn’t get to taste those samosas, too

The Wedding Planner - Raj (Shiver)

It was four weddings and a malfunctioning naan bread oven in the cheerful My Big Fat Asian Wedding, Channel 4’s latest one-off documentary in search of a full-series commission. Our guide was Raj Somaiya, the “exuberant” (read: sweary) boss of the Manchester-based Payal Events, which he hopes will soon lay claim to the largest share of Britain’s £300m Asian wedding industry.

Of course, Britain’s Asian community is actually several different south Asian communities, with their own nuptial traditions and expectations. After 17 years in the business, Raj “I do weddings for brown people” Somaiya fancies himself an expert on them all: “You’ve got the Sikh guys, our warriors; they’re the guys who want to get absolutely smashed at an event and then probably smash each other up,” he explained. “Then you’ve got the Gujis [Gujaratis], they just want to eat and do one. Then you’ve got the Muslims, the meat-eating, soft drink communities…”

Couple number two were Smiti and Samit, finance workers and Hindu Punjabis who according to Raj’s taxonomy “want to have a big, fuck-off reception, smash it up, then go”. That description seemed to fit their Ibiza-style do in London’s Canary Wharf, although the Jägerbomb round and giant dancing robot seemed more influenced by the culture of the City than the ways of the old country. While the guests enjoyed the day, it was up to Raj’s nephew to clean up the muck deposited on the pavement by the white horse that traditionally delivers an Indian groom.

That’s all in a day’s work for the busy Asian wedding planner, as is tampering with the ceremonial coconut used to foretell a long marriage in Hare Krishna weddings, and supervising as the team of “aunties” prepare 10,000 samosas by hand. If you love a good wedding, then a good wedding reality show is the next best thing to a seat at the top table. It’s only a shame we didn’t get to taste those samosas, too.