Can Rochelle from The Saturdays tell her shortcrust from her choux? Is Olympic athlete Victoria Pendleton as swift with a whisk as she is round the velodrome? On GBBO charity spin-off series, The Great Sport Relief Bake-Off, a celebrity's baking ability is inversely proportionate to their entertainment value, but it's still fun to speculate on which of this year's batch will actually have any skill.
Last night's kitchen clown was TV and radio presenter Johnny Vaughan. It may have taken him two rounds to work out how to turn on the oven, but his one-liners were consistently on fire. Johnny Vaughan was joined by former England cricket captain, Michael Vaughan, who demonstrated a not unexpected competitive streak; actress Samantha Bond, as dainty and arch in real life as she is as Miss Moneypenny; and Bonnie Wright the red-head best known as Ginny Weasley in the Harry Potter films.
Bonnie had hoped that, maybe – just maybe – judges Paul Hollywood and Mary Berry would go easy on them, since, y'know, they weren't proper contestants... No chance. Not while Paul still has breath in his body: "I don't care who they are or how much experience they've got, if they mess up in that kitchen, I'm gonna kill 'em." Thankfully, Bonnie was spared a summary execution in the Signature Bake round by her cardamon shortbread with a yoghurt and peach filling, although they didn't turn out quite as well as hoped. It's the moisture content of yoghurt, Mary explained, makes the biscuit all soggy.
Johnny was on hand to protect the other contestants from too much humiliation with a shield of his own incompetence. Presenter Sue Perkins praised him for creating a biscuit that even she couldn't stomach and his cake in the shape of Chelsea's Stamford Bridge looked like it had been baked in hate by a deranged Fulham fan. No matter, it was all for a good cause. It's hoped viewers will be inspired to hold bake sales to fund projects like the one Olympic boxer Nicola Adams visited, a boxing gym to help rehabilitate wayward youths in South Africa.