The Great Sport Relief Bake-Off, BBC 2 - TV review: Johnny Vaughan turns celebrity chef – once he learns how to turn the oven on
Ellen E Jones
Ellen is The Independent's TV critic. She writes a daily review of Last Night's TV and a weekly 'Inside TV' column for the i paper, as well as a column on general topics for the main paper most Wednesdays. Ellen is a former Hollywood correspondent and a contributing editor to Little White Lies, she's written on TV, film, lifestyle, travel and politics for publications including the Guardian, The Times, The Sunday Times, Esquire and Total Film.
Tuesday 14 January 2014
Can Rochelle from The Saturdays tell her shortcrust from her choux? Is Olympic athlete Victoria Pendleton as swift with a whisk as she is round the velodrome? On GBBO charity spin-off series, The Great Sport Relief Bake-Off, a celebrity's baking ability is inversely proportionate to their entertainment value, but it's still fun to speculate on which of this year's batch will actually have any skill.
Last night's kitchen clown was TV and radio presenter Johnny Vaughan. It may have taken him two rounds to work out how to turn on the oven, but his one-liners were consistently on fire. Johnny Vaughan was joined by former England cricket captain, Michael Vaughan, who demonstrated a not unexpected competitive streak; actress Samantha Bond, as dainty and arch in real life as she is as Miss Moneypenny; and Bonnie Wright the red-head best known as Ginny Weasley in the Harry Potter films.
Bonnie had hoped that, maybe – just maybe – judges Paul Hollywood and Mary Berry would go easy on them, since, y'know, they weren't proper contestants... No chance. Not while Paul still has breath in his body: "I don't care who they are or how much experience they've got, if they mess up in that kitchen, I'm gonna kill 'em." Thankfully, Bonnie was spared a summary execution in the Signature Bake round by her cardamon shortbread with a yoghurt and peach filling, although they didn't turn out quite as well as hoped. It's the moisture content of yoghurt, Mary explained, makes the biscuit all soggy.
Johnny was on hand to protect the other contestants from too much humiliation with a shield of his own incompetence. Presenter Sue Perkins praised him for creating a biscuit that even she couldn't stomach and his cake in the shape of Chelsea's Stamford Bridge looked like it had been baked in hate by a deranged Fulham fan. No matter, it was all for a good cause. It's hoped viewers will be inspired to hold bake sales to fund projects like the one Olympic boxer Nicola Adams visited, a boxing gym to help rehabilitate wayward youths in South Africa.
TV review Nick Hewer, the man whose eyebrows speak a thousand words, is set to leave The Apprentice
Film The critics but sneer but these unfashionable festive films are our favourites
TV We're so close to knowing what happened to Oliver Hughes, but a last-minute bluff crushes expectations
Arts & Ents blogs
- 1 Nigel Farage: Me vs Russell Brand on Question Time – he's got the chest hair but where are his ideas?
- 2 Harry Potter fans can apply to the Hogwarts-inspired College of Wizardry
- 3 Jessica Chambers: 19-year-old woman 'doused with lighter fluid and burned alive' in the US
- 4 Russell Brand calls Nigel Farage 'poundshop Enoch Powell' in BBC Question Time debate
- 5 Orange Wednesdays are no more
Peter Lik: The self-proclaimed 'fine-art photographer' whose work sells for millions
The best underrated Christmas movies from Love, Actually to While You Were Sleeping
Grace Dent on TV: The Lost Honour of Christopher Jefferies was a beautifully shot, immensely considered drama
The Lost Honour of Christopher Jefferies, review: Jason Watkins is brilliant, but real victim Joanna Yeates is reduced to a footnote
Marilyn Manson denies involvement in shocking Lana Del Rey rape video
Disgruntled RBS worker writes hilarious open letter to Russell Brand after anti-capitalist publicity stunt leaves him hungry
Shock poll shows voters believe Ukip is to the left of the Tories
Nigel Farage's approval rating hits 'record low' as popularity suffers in wake of Ukip sex scandal
Nigel Farage defends Kerry Smith 'ch***y' comment: 'If you are going for a Chinese, what do you say you’re going for?'
Ukip candidate jokes about 'shooting peasants' in racist and homophobic rant
Pakistan school attack live: Taliban kill at least 132 children in 'horrifying' massacre