The Weekend's Television: The Osbourne Family Adrenaline Junkie, Sun, ITV1
Garrow's Law: Tales from the Old Bailey, Sun, BBC1

Adrenaline rush goes missing

"You only live once," someone said at the beginning of The Osbourne Family Adrenaline Junkie, a spectacularly pointless spin-off of Jack's I'll-get-the-thrills-while-you-get-to-watch series.

Sadly, it doesn't feel like you only live once when you watch programmes like this, with their Groundhog Day repetitions of every salient bit of footage. If it's worth watching Ozzy Osbourne fall off a dogsled once, the thinking seems to go, then it's worth watching him off at least four or five times to the accompaniment of a blokey voiceover rasping away at your sensibilities with a series of dogsled-related puns. Add to that the apparent belief that the entire audience disappears during the ad break to be replaced by people who need telling all over again what the programme's about and you have a perfect instance of goldfish television. Cut out the laborious repetitions and we could have been on our way to somewhere far more worthwhile inside a quarter of an hour.

The idea is that Jack is introducing the entire family to the kind of expensively calibrated thrills that have provided him with such an effective (and lucrative) substitute for drugs and alcohol. He started by taking them rock-crawling in Nevada, an activity that involves driving highly sprung jeeps over giant boulders. Sharon promptly overturned hers, causing Kelly to have a hissy fit and stalk out: "She's a 57-year-old woman who does not need to be doing this shit!" she shouted at her brother. Sharon herself, who's a bit of a trouper, only lost her composure when Kelly described her on camera as being "nearly 60". After that, the remaining family members went up to experience zero gravity ("I've been high before but nothing like this!" enthused Ozzy as he floated past the camera) and then flew to Patagonia to go dogsledding – a location so remote that they actually had to take a flight with no first class. Now that might be interesting adrenaline telly. The Osbournes go Economy. Get the entire family to live on a south London council estate for a couple of weeks. It would be, as Sharon said at the beginning of this programme, "a once-in-a lifetime opportunity to go and do something we wouldn't normally do", and it might be a lot more instructive than their holiday movies.

Apparently, before writing Garrow's Law: Tales from the Old Bailey, Tony Marchant was required to do undergo online BBC training that included a warning against dividing characters into simple "goodies and baddies". I wish he'd paid more attention because, although his 18th-century legal drama is full of good intentions and good things, it's undermined by the fact that you could never be in the slightest doubt as to which was which. To be fair to him, he's fighting with history here. Garrow pioneered all kinds of judicial rights that we now take for granted, so he's bound to look good against a background of rotten-borough MPs and sneering toff reactionaries. But even taking that into account, there's something a little unconvincing about Garrow's rectitude and the silky condescension of the men opposed to him.

In last night's episode, Garrow was offered the bribe of a plum job to soft-pedal the defence of a shoe-maker on trial for sedition, and there wasn't a moment when you believed he might take it, or that his impassioned speech for British liberties would fall on deaf ears. The contemporary trial material is great (I take it that the case involving erotic strangulation had come out of the archives) and the hints at contemporary connections are intriguing ("be aware that powers ceded to government in time of fear are rarely removed from statute", Garrow warned at one point), but you know the verdict is fixed from the beginning.

t.sutcliffe@independent.co.uk

PROMOTED VIDEO
Arts and Entertainment
Novelist Martin Amis at The Times Cheltenham Literature Festival

books
Arts and Entertainment
Alfred Molina, left, and John Lithgow in a scene from 'Love Is Strange'

After giving gay film R-rating despite no sex or violence

film
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Arts and Entertainment
Robin Williams will be given a 'meaningful remembrance' at the Emmy Awards

film
Arts and Entertainment

tv
Arts and Entertainment
Arctic Monkeys headline this year's Reading and Leeds festivals, but there's a whole host of other bands to check out too
music
Arts and Entertainment
Blue singer Simon Webbe will be confirmed for Strictly Come Dancing

tv
Arts and Entertainment
'The Great British Bake Off' showcases food at its most sumptuous
tv
Arts and Entertainment
Cliff Richard performs at the Ziggo Dome in Amsterdam on 17 May 2014

music
Arts and Entertainment

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Educating the East End returns to Channel 4 this autumn

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Benedict Cumberbatch will voice Shere Khan in Andy Serkis' movie take on The Jungle Book

film
Arts and Entertainment
DJ Calvin Harris performs at the iHeartRadio Music Festival

music
Arts and Entertainment
The eyes have it: Kate Bush

music
Arts and Entertainment
From left to right: Mark Crown, DJ Locksmith and Amir Amor of Rudimental performing on stage during day one of the Wireless Festival at Perry Park, Birmingham

music
Arts and Entertainment

books
Arts and Entertainment
Tim Vine has won the funniest joke award at the Edinburgh Festival 2014

Edinburgh
Arts and Entertainment
Peter Capaldi and Chris Addison star in political comedy The Thick of IT

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Judy Murray said she

TV
Arts and Entertainment
Tim Vine has won the funniest joke award at the Edinburgh Festival 2014

edinburgh
Arts and Entertainment
Jeremy Paxman has admitted he is a 'one-nation Tory' and complained that Newsnight is made by idealistic '13-year-olds' who foolishly think they can 'change the world'.

Edinburgh
Arts and Entertainment
Seoul singer G-Dragon could lead the invasion as South Korea has its sights set on Western markets
music
Arts and Entertainment
tv
Independent
Travel Shop
the manor
Up to 70% off luxury travel
on city breaks Find out more
santorini
Up to 70% off luxury travel
on chic beach resorts Find out more
sardina foodie
Up to 70% off luxury travel
on country retreats Find out more
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?

ES Rentals

    Independent Dating
    and  

    By clicking 'Search' you
    are agreeing to our
    Terms of Use.

    All this talk of an ‘apocalyptic’ threat is simply childish

    Robert Fisk: All this talk of an ‘apocalyptic’ threat is simply childish

    Chuck Hagel and Martin Dempsey were pure Hollywood. They only needed Tom Cruise
    Mafia Dons: is the Camorra in control of the Granite City?

    Mafia Dons: is the Camorra in control of the Granite City?

    So claims an EU report which points to the Italian Mob’s alleged grip on everything from public works to property
    Emmys look set to overhaul the Oscars as Hollywood’s prize draw

    Emmys look set to overhaul the Oscars as Hollywood’s prize draw

    Once the poor relation, the awards show now has the top stars and boasts the best drama
    What happens to African migrants once they land in Italy during the summer?

    What happens to migrants once they land in Italy?

    Memphis Barker follows their trail through southern Europe
    French connection: After 1,300 years, there’s a bridge to Mont Saint-Michel

    French connection: After 1,300 years, there’s a bridge to Mont Saint-Michel

    The ugly causeway is being dismantled, an elegant connection erected in its place. So everyone’s happy, right?
    Frank Mugisha: Uganda's most outspoken gay rights activist on changing people's attitudes, coming out, and the threat of being attacked

    Frank Mugisha: 'Coming out was a gradual process '

    Uganda's most outspoken gay rights activist on changing people's attitudes, coming out, and the threat of being attacked
    Radio 1 to hire 'YouTube-famous' vloggers to broadcast online

    Radio 1’s new top ten

    The ‘vloggers’ signed up to find twentysomething audience
    David Abraham: Big ideas for the small screen

    David Abraham: Big ideas for the small screen

    A blistering attack on US influence on British television has lifted the savvy head of Channel 4 out of the shadows
    Florence Knight's perfect picnic: Make the most of summer's last Bank Holiday weekend

    Florence Knight's perfect picnic

    Polpetto's head chef shares her favourite recipes from Iced Earl Grey tea to baked peaches, mascarpone & brown sugar meringues...
    Horst P Horst: The fashion photography genius who inspired Madonna comes to the V&A

    Horst P Horst comes to the V&A

    The London's museum has delved into its archives to stage a far-reaching retrospective celebrating the photographer's six decades of creativity
    Mark Hix recipes: Try our chef's summery soups for a real seasonal refresher

    Mark Hix's summery soups

    Soup isn’t just about comforting broths and steaming hot bowls...
    Tim Sherwood column: 'It started as a three-horse race but turned into the Grand National'

    Tim Sherwood column

    I would have taken the Crystal Palace job if I’d been offered it soon after my interview... but the whole process dragged on so I had to pull out
    Eden Hazard: Young, gifted... not yet perfect

    Eden Hazard: Young, gifted... not yet perfect

    Eden Hazard admits he is still below the level of Ronaldo and Messi but, after a breakthrough season, is ready to thrill Chelsea’s fans
    Tim Howard: I’m an old dog. I don’t get too excited

    Tim Howard: I’m an old dog. I don’t get too excited

    The Everton and US goalkeeper was such a star at the World Cup that the President phoned to congratulate him... not that he knows what the fuss is all about
    Match of the Day at 50: Show reminds us that even the most revered BBC institution may have a finite lifespan – thanks to the opposition

    Tom Peck on Match of the Day at 50

    The show reminds us that even the most revered BBC institution may have a finite lifespan – thanks to the opposition