When men were men

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The Independent Culture
If you want forthright opinions on football, there's no one blunter than Brian Clough. No one, that is, except Tommy Docherty. When asked on his no-frills Radio 5 phone-in show, Jim and the Doc, why he thought Tottenham's Romanian international, Ilie Dumitrescu, wasn't cut out for the rigours of British football, he replied: "Wears gloves". He might as well have said, "Nancyboy", and he probably will when taking the stage this Tuesday at Lewisham Theatre alongside Big Malcolm Allison, the champagne- loving, good-time Seventies manager of Manchester City and Crystal Palace. The game's not what it was, men are no longer men and whatever happened to football's colourful characters. The Doc and Big Mal know more footballing clichs than you've ever dreamed of.

Lewisham Theatre, Rushey Green, Catford SE6 (081-690 0002) 8pm Tue 7 Mar, £8.50-7.50