Words: butter, n.
"DO YOU want butter on it?" asked the man in a Brighton sandwich- shop. "Yes, please." With which, he dug his knife into a tub of grease which I could not believe was butter. "Is that margarine?" "Yes." "But you just asked if I wanted butter." "I know," he said, knife aloft, "it's a figure of speech, isn't it?"
No arguing with that (but why is it yellow, not blue or green?) - but there in the fridge was some butter, wrapper folded along most of the craggy edge. "Look, there's real butter, under your nose!" "It's hard, for melting in baked potatoes." "You don't put margarine in the potatoes?" "No," he replied in surprise, "you can't put margarine in potatoes." If the Mad Hatter had tendered for outside caterers, this would have been the man for the job.
Subscribe to Independent Premium to bookmark this article
Want to bookmark your favourite articles and stories to read or reference later? Start your Independent Premium subscription today.
Join our commenting forum
Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies