Words: Quorn, n.

CUT FROM The Girl Who Came to Supper (now in The Complete Lyrics) was "What's the Matter with a Nice Beef Stew?" Coward advises: "it fills the crevices and makes you grow / . . . when you've had a little grouse / At Lyons' Corner House / Or a steak and kidney pud at Slater's / You'll appreciate a chew, / At a nice beef stew / With greens and mashed potatoes."

No mention of Quorn, made by Marlow Foods of Cleveland. Rank Hovis discovered a particle of the mushroom-like fungus - Fusarium Garminearum - 30 years ago. It owned some tradenames and, bizarrely, gave the meat-substitute one associated with a Midlands hunt, whose name means, ulcerously, a hill where millstones are got. The hunt cannot name any regular eaters of it.