Most likely to say: "Don't cross yer legs, you could be squashing me supper"
On the gagometer: 2/10
F count: 148 (56 mins)
Billy Connolly Live 1994
Appearance: Black leggings, spaniel hairdo Accent: Glasgow meets Hollywood Material: Ugliness of the scrotum, farting, Toblerone Most likely to say: "Back in LA, we say . . ."
F count: 152 (93 mins)
Mike Reid Pussy in Boots Appearance: Big Dick Whittington Material: Blue stand-up masquerading as panto Most likely to say: "What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? The wife blows your bonus"
F count: 47 (76 mins)
Freddie Starr Live and Dangerous Appearance: Swastika shorts, black briefs, breasts Material: Toilet Songs: "Ba-ba Black Sheep", in the style of Elvis Most likely to say: "Bet yours is like a dead badger"
F count: 14 (83 mins)
Jethro From Behind the Bushes Appearance: Game warden Accent: Cornish (mixed with Greek) simpleton Material: "Doctor, doctor . . .", ostrich abuse Most likely to say: "Oi, give 'er a portion"
F count: 0 (65 mins)