Andrew Martin

Journalist and novelist Andrew Martin is the author of the 'Jim Stringer' series of novels based around railways. He has written for the Independent on Sunday, the Evening Standard, the Sunday Times and the New Statesman among others.

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Football: Dons douse Hammers' early joy

West Ham United 3 Wimbledon 4

Man's World

Whilst scanning a list of winners of "Pipeman of the Year" the other day, I couldn't help thinking that the possibility of being the hippest person ever to smoke a pipe lay within my grasp. After all, the nearest thing to a young man on that list is Dave Lee Travis (triumphant in 1982), and the nearest thing to a rock star is James Galway, whose outstanding pipemanship was given the recognition it so richly deserved in 1985. I know that any minute now there's going to be a picture in a style section of some dude with a thrusting briar in his clenched jaw, accompanied by the words: "The pipe is back!" Why shouldn't that jaw be mine?

Man's World

I HAVE a fear of numbers which extends beyond being unable to do simple maths to being unable to read profiles of mathematicians. This means I've got a terrible headache already simply from writing: Professors Borcherds and Gowers recently won acclaim for their work in vertex algebras and Banach Space.

Thomas the Tank Engine stole my son

Was the Rev W. Awdry related to L. Ron Hubbard? Those little engines are not just part of a harmless children's story, they're part of a cult. And it's taken over my family

Irritations of Modern Life 10: Televised Sport In Pubs

I REALISED the extent of the televised-sport-in-pubs disease about a year ago when I walked into my local to find the entire clientele watching a bodybuilder in sparse underpants who was flexing his muscles and mincing around to an anonymous piece of heavy metal. "A good performance from the Finn, there," breathed the commentator when the man eventually finished.

Real Living: Man's World

"WHAT you need," said my wife as I sat sighing in the kitchen last Sunday, "is a hobby."

Football: pounds 10m bid for Yorke rejected by Villa

ASTON VILLA continued to shrug off the unwelcome advances of Manchester United for Dwight Yorke yesterday, after they rejected what they have described as United's second and final faxed offer of pounds 10m for the striker.

Football: Wilson on warpath

DANNY WILSON, the Sheffield Wednesday manager, has denounced speculation linking him with a player-plus-cash move for Nottingham Forest's Pierre van Hooijdonk.

Football: Villa say pounds 10m for Yorke `too low'

ASTON VILLA continued to shrug off the unwelcome advances of Manchester United for Dwight Yorke yesterday after they rejected what they have described as United's second and final faxed offer of pounds 10m for the striker.

Football: Charity and faith is Vivas' hope

NELSON VIVAS is expected to make his debut for the Double winners Arsenal against Manchester United at Wembley today as the Charity Shield announces the beginning of the new season for the elite clubs.
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