Dom Joly’s time-saving tips will change your life...

I've suddenly found myself thinking more and more about getting a boat. Obviously this is a sign of an impending mid-life crisis, but there seems to be very little that I can do to prevent these feelings. I've tried having long cold showers and not thinking about boats, but they just kept popping up. It's all out of control. Then a friend rang me up out of the blue and asked me to go sailing with him in his new boat. I've never really been into sailing. I love the whole aesthetic but the reality always seems a tad too much like hard work for me. I just want an engine, some sun, a lovely place to anchor up, and I'm happy. I don't want to be washing down decks or frigging in the rigging.

If you want to know what this is, then there are some films coming out soon on this site that might tell you. If you do find out...let me know, will you?

I've been filming hidden camera stuff for the last week and I've forgotten how much it takes out of you – the waves of adrenaline and the subsequent crashes are killers and I've just slept for 24 hours solid.

Last week I was filming in and around a lovely, hot Bordeaux. On my second day there, after a strenuous day at "wine school" (who knew such a wonderful institution existed?), I came across the Marathon Du Medoc.

I'm back from Canada and straight into filming. It's all is a bit of a shock to the system when you've been in Politeland for a month. Over there, the only stress is having to say hello and smile at everyone you pass by (it'll soon pass, now I'm back, but it always takes a while to start scowling at everyone again).

I remember reading an article about major celebrities raking in the money by doing naff adverts in Japan which they thought nobody would ever see.

The weather has become a constant source of debate here in the last week of my Canadian Lakes holiday. We arrived in Toronto about three weeks ago on the back of a July heatwave that had everybody talking – "One day it was 47 degrees centigrade... well, not actually... but that's what it felt like." Canadian weather forecasters tell you the exact temperature but then adjust it for the humidity to tell you what it "feels like".

This year, on my annual Canadian lakeside holiday, I'm on Lake Rosseau, one of the three connecting lakes – the others being Muskoka and Joseph – that I fell in love with 10 years ago and have been summering in ever since. We have driven up from Toronto in a rented enormo-car, which is parked and scarecely used again, as we go everywhere by speedboat. For three weeks, our life becomes water-based, with the car used only to transport the various inflatable toys we have bought over the years. Inflatables are quite an industry up here – every cottage has its own assortment bobbing up and down in front.

When, last week, I wrote about Canadians and their view of Brits being not a little influenced by Mary Poppins, I urged us to beef up our PR. Little did I imagine that the country would take this so literally. Britain's image, as seen from over the Atlantic, has changed dramatically.