Dom Joly

Dom Joly has been a columnist for The Independent on Sunday and The Independent since 2001. Joly shot to fame in 2000 with his anarchic Channel 4 hidden-camera comedy programme Trigger Happy TV. He has since made television series for BBC, Five, and Sky One including, This Is Dom Joly and Dom Joly’s Happy Hour. His current TV show, Fool Britannia, is on ITV1 on Saturday nights. His spoof autobiography, Look At Me, Look At Me was published in 2004, in 2007 he brought out Letters to my Golf Club, featuring his correspondences with golf clubs around the world. In 2009 he wrote his first travel book, The Dark Tourist, in which he holidayed in some of the world’s most unlikely destinations such as Chernobyl and North Korea. His second travel book- Scary Monsters and Super Creeps, published in 2012, saw him cross the globe hunting monsters like the Yeti and Bigfoot. He is currently writing his new travel book.

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'HELLO? Can’t talk right now!' And I thought mobile rudeness was just a fad...

We now hide behind our phones so that we aren't obliged to greet people, look at waiters or treat anybody like a human being

Yeah, I did Glastonbury – only not the festival

I've lied so often about having been to Glastonbury that I honestly can't remember whether I've actually been or not. I'm pretty sure that I haven't. The very concept of the place fills me with fear and loathing. The idea of joining a mass traffic jam to Somerset in the English summer to live in an enormous hippy refugee camp surrounded by people trying hard to be "alternative" is not one that appeals. When I visited a real refugee camp on the Syrian-Jordanian border this year I remember wondering what on earth the poor inhabitants would make of photographs of Worthy Farm in full flow? "You mean those people are there voluntarily? But the mud, the squalor, the terrible clothes …."

Never brave Cheltenham without survival skills

We organised a bushcraft party for my son last week. This involved him and five friends going feral and wandering off to camp overnight in the woods behind our farm. The two bushcrafters overseeing the party were going to teach them to make traps, start fires and skin and cook a deer. This they did, and, judging by their demeanours when I picked them up next morning, they'd had a fabulous time.

Dog meets cat and it's love at first fight

Our home zoo has expanded once again with the arrival last week of our new Labrador puppy, Fitzgerald. For the past 10 years we have been truly blessed with the existence of Huxley, a black Labrador and close personal friend of quite exceptional intelligence. Now, as Huxley approaches retirement age, we decided as a family that he should have the opportunity of passing on his considerable wisdom to the next generation – hence Fitzgerald.

I'm bowled over by my boy's big match

A big day in my life is nigh. I'm taking my nine-year-old son to his first proper cricket match. We are going to see England vs Australia, but I'll be lucky if it's as good as the first one my dad took me to.

Sometimes the bear necessities are not enough

One of the perils of filming by hidden camera is that you are often wandering around in disguise, often in a uniform of some sort, and this can lead to tricky requests from unsuspecting members of the public.

Psy

That Psy never thought of Watermelon Style

It was off to Scotland last week for some filming in one of my favourite UK cities – Glasgow. I used to be quite scared of Glasgow, as I was once beaten up there back in my Goth days. Nowadays there are new laws protecting Goths from harassment, and I could take my persecutors to court and win damages that I could use to buy loads of cider, black paint, and books by Rimbaud. I assume that Goths could always have taken people to court for beating them up, but it would just be that the Goth element would not be an issue whereas now … it is. God bless Dave Cameron and all who sail in him.

If you're a lag on the lam, head for Chelmsford

We might have chosen the wrong town in which to film if we were looking for upstanding citizens

You can't park your souped-up story here

Not for the first time, Richard Littlejohn got a bit confused and mixed up "ideas" with "format"

My name is Dom, and my wife is a grass addict

I suppose it happens to us all at some stage – none of us is safe from addiction and the scary grip it can have on your life. I myself have bravely struggled with an espresso problem for years. It has driven me to terrible depths. I am often to be found at the bottom of the drive hanging around the post box "waiting for the man" – the Nespresso man. This evil bastard now has me in his nefarious clutches. He takes longer and longer to deliver my stash and this affects my moods. I snarl at people who offer me an "eXpresso" – "it's eSpresso" I growl at them like some Stroud stoner watching a yurt guest use a rolling machine for a joint.

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