Donald MacInnes writes Tales from the Water Cooler, which can be found every Saturday on page 2 of i. And, although a financial near-imbecile, he writes a weekly column in The Independent’s Money section, also on Saturdays. He writes regularly on a broad range of subjects in i’s Freeview section and occasionally fills in on Simon Kelner’s daily column when emotionally up to it. @DonaldAMacInnes
17 April 2015 06:00 PM
Donald, who is about to become a father for the first time, discovered that the total cost of raising a child is something in the region of £230,000
10 April 2015 07:00 PM
40-year-old customer Cornelius Price ordered to pay £1.50 in compensation to Tesco after he threw a six-pint container of milk towards the store manager
03 April 2015 08:00 PM
Donald confesses to a stint on a magazine with the ethical integrity of a hacked voicemail
27 March 2015 08:30 PM
My days as someone without children – a conscientious objector and frequent scorner of those who, having gone forth, multiplied – are numbered.
20 March 2015 07:30 PM
If she keeps her promises, I'm assuming the Rotherham MP Sarah Champion will have paid back the £17 she claimed from the public purse to pay for a Remembrance Day poppy wreath.
13 March 2015 09:00 PM
My Apple iPhone cost me, as we say in Scotland, hee-haw. That is not to say that I got the phone in exchange for a mule, but rather that it cost me absolutely nothing. [Point of order: the origin of the phrase "hee-haw" is almost interesting. The story goes that in 14th century feudal Scotland, a farm labourer was determined to get a pay rise from the English landowner. He requested thruppence a month more from the local laird, Sir Henry Oveur-Privelége. The answer came next morning, in the form of a dead donkey dumped on the labourer's doorstep. On the puckered hind-quarters of the ex-beast was daubed that eternal message to the working classes: "No."]
06 March 2015 08:30 PM
Recognition – or the lack of thereof – will provide the chrome stripper pole around which I coil my words for you this week.
27 February 2015 07:30 PM
It may cue a nationwide gasp of shock, but I have never set up and run my own religion. No altars exist to some shonky deity prescribed by me; I have no cassocks, bells, dirgy songs or dodgy youth leaders.
20 February 2015 08:00 PM
I like shopping online. I have chosen and paid for most of the new stuff in my life while either reclining in bed, reclining on the sofa or sitting bolt upright at my desk at work.
13 February 2015 08:00 PM
In the past few days, much of the talk among my uniformed, uninformed entourage of somewhat diminutive, wholly deluded morons has centred on the possible purchase of the 99p Stores group by Poundland.
If I’m being racially abused I don’t need a stranger with a saviour complex to rescue me
The only black face in the Ukip manifesto is on the page about overseas aid
Ukip is the only main political party to not address LGBT rights in its manifesto
Food banks: One million Britons will soon be using them, according to Trussell Trust
Religion isn't growing, it is becoming vigorous in its demise, says philosopher AC Grayling
BBC election debate: The one photo that summed up the whole 90-minute leaders debate
- 1 Alan Rickman admits editing 'terrible' script with friends in Pizza Hut behind backs of writers on Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
- 2 Rarest Beanie Baby of them all could be sold for £62,500 on eBay
- 3 Driving while dehydrated can be just as dangerous as drink driving, study suggests
- 4 Ben Affleck asked TV chiefs to hide slave-owning ancestry, new hacked Sony emails published by Wikileaks claim
- 5 Farmer told to tear down mock-Tudor castle after hiding construction behind hay bales