Donald MacInnes writes Tales from the Water Cooler, which can be found every Saturday on page 2 of i. And, although a financial near-imbecile, he writes a weekly column in The Independent’s Money section, also on Saturdays. He writes regularly on a broad range of subjects in i’s Freeview section and occasionally fills in on Simon Kelner’s daily column when emotionally up to it. @DonaldAMacInnes
22 August 2014 10:30 PM
This week I shall begin with four words which really wouldn't look out of place in a legitimate, modern newspaper column. Today we will be talking about Intellectual Property and Public Domain. Ooh, I felt a frisson of professionalism there. I should try to be legitimate more often. Or maybe I won't. Either way, off we go.
16 August 2014 12:00 AM
As we are now at the very last stages of buying our new home, I find my thoughts straying ever more frequently to the real reason why we decided to purchase a proper house with a real garden.
08 August 2014 11:30 PM
There are usually several items that we, as children, request from our parents with little – if any – hope of ever receiving them. I recall craving a flick-knife. It was never gonna happen.
01 August 2014 07:30 PM
Following last week's mean-spirited and unwarranted attack on the infant millionaire Prince George, I fully expected to be bundled into a van and driven to the Tower of London, then ordered to stand in the corner of the gift shop until I had sorted my head out.
25 July 2014 11:00 PM
Being as I have always been honest about my status as a sort of placebo wordsmith – giving the impression of having genuine journalistic acumen without actually having any quantifiable justification for doing so – one might imagine that few people within the serious media world would give me the time of day. Not so.
19 July 2014 12:00 AM
For some people it's Barry Scott squirting warm jets of Cillit Bang as though it's liquid happiness. Possibly it's the curiously shrill-voiced Mo Farah jogging through the Arizona badlands while evangelising about pretend mince. (Fans of actual mince have, in the past, been confronted by Jamie Oliver and his pulsating, fat tongue urging us to stock up in Sainsbury's.)
11 July 2014 12:20 AM
Although I have some telekinetic powers, being able to move objects around the living room (as long as they weigh less than 10kg) and also levitate my own personal body for anything up to four minutes (depending what I have had for dinner), my special gifts do not, sadly, extend to being able to see into the future.
04 July 2014 11:00 PM
It just occurred to me that I haven't publicly congratulated my high-flying wife on her new job. She still works in corporate travel, but this new role represents a major step up for her.
27 June 2014 10:00 PM
This week's public address concerns "describing words". These are supposed to illuminate the inner workings of people or things, or, in the case of the Labour MP Pat McFadden, the Bank of England, which he "described" in particularly pejorative terms.
21 June 2014 12:00 AM
Quiet please. MacInnes to serve. Play.
'We would evict Queen from Buckingham Palace and allocate her council house,' say Greens
French court convicts three over homophobic tweets, in case hailed as a 'significant victory' by LGBT rights campaigners
Greece elections: Syriza and EU on collision course after election win for left-wing party
British Muslim school children suffering a backlash of abuse following Paris attacks
British grandmother Lindsay Sandiford faces execution by firing squad in Indonesia
Liberal Democrat minister defends comments suggesting immigration causes pub closures
- 1 King Salman: Just five days in, Saudi Arabia's new king has already overseen a beheading
- 2 The BBC has just done more to eradicate ‘terrorism’ than all our wars since 9/11
- 3 Saudi preacher who 'raped and tortured' his five -year-old daughter to death is released after paying 'blood money'
- 4 Presidential optical illusion offers clues to how brain processes faces
- 5 Grumpy Roald Dahl letter warning student to 'eschew beastly adjectives' rediscovered after 35 years