Soot-covered, sexually abused child slaves getting their limbs lopped off by looms – it really is grim up North

I truly hope David Cameron is not developing policy around the deranged chunterings of anyone who found their happiness levels altered by the Diamond Jubilee

Without the bitchy, bejewelled debauchery of bygone Hollywood, this was an affair to forget

After many, many hours of televised twaddle, we have a new Prince. 8lbs, 6 ounces. All new babies are, as Nancy Mitford so rightly pointed out, ‘deep down among the frills and lace,’ little more than, ‘a howling orange in a fine black wig’. Even little Princes who arrive third in line to the throne heralded by the clammy, effusive trumpetings of Nicholas Witchell and the excitable questioning by Kay Burley of excited people about just how excited they are.

Holly Hunter lets her hair down as Prime Suspect meets Twin Peaks in a cracking Kiwi crime mystery

Luther deserves a better nemesis than a clichéd bogeyman hiding under beds and in wardrobes

It's really not that hard to understand. Are you the man who bellows, “DON’T GET HYSTERICAL!” if a woman is trying to make point. Congrats, you're a sexist berk

Yesterday's human rights verdict on killers like Jeremy Bamber certainly sticks in the throat, but the European Court is a buffer zone between us and our savagery  

It's the undead with subtitles. Only they don't explain why zombies like pasta so much

I doubt they know or care it has given airtime to minority religions for decades