This is the latest of a long line of things we can no longer enjoy because gays are allowed to do them as well. Why bother buying food when lesbian couples can too?

Every parent cherishes those oh-so-fleeting times, when their child sits up eagerly in bed squealing “Please can you explain the uses of a colon again.PLEEEEASE.”

Of all those cockle-pickers who brought the banking system to its knees, not one has voluntarily given back their knighthood. At last the Government is taking action

This is the logic of the US gun lobby, although it might be tricky with sprint races, as every runner would instinctively fire on the poor sod who fired the starting gun

It’s essential for the nation that we quickly revert to our normal madness levels. Somehow we became so doolally last week we banned a song from The Wizard of Oz

If someone robs your house, you don’t say: “I disagreed with the burglar’s policy, of tying me to a chair. But I did admire his convictions.”

For class to have any meaning, it must represent more than which music you listen to

It’s a tricky argument to pull off – the poor caused the debt so they should pay it back

MPs shouldn’t be so hard on themselves. They made a fully conscious decision to back the war on the scientific basis that it might upset their careers if they didn’t

The Saudi visit’s theme is ‘military collaboration’. Because it’s only polite to stick to small talk