Simon Carr

The Independent's parliamentary sketch writer and columnist since 2000, Simon Carr was described by Tony Blair as "the most vicious sketch writer working in Britain today". "Poison," said Charles Clarke. In the 1980s he helped launch The Independent, and was a speech writer for the prime minister of New Zealand from 1992 to 1994. His working principle is "Indignation keeps us young."

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The Sketch: Our leaders aren't in touch with their MPs, let alone the nation

Ed told us people were worried about travel costs and water bills. He gets it all right...

The Sketch: It didn't matter what they said – no one was listening

The blue and yellow livery of your tractors," Nick Clegg said, pausing for comic timing, "is tailor-made for the political, er, situation." It was a joke. It relied for its effect on the company colour scheme. This consists of a Conservative blue background on which lettering is rendered in yellow, a colour favoured by the Liberal Democrats. The DPM was making a link with his audience. He was getting in touch with them by comparing their mutual colour schemes.

The Sketch: Funny guy, but Vaclav has little to laugh about

On a suitably cold and dismal day, the President of a dissident republic addressed his underground supporters in inner London about the optimal size of a monetary union.

The Sketch: Fit or unfit, this was a semi-circular firing squad

Will this finally spoil the BSkyB bid, or is it the custard pie that creates pity for the old alligator?

The Sketch: It's Rupert versus those effete Le Monde-loving lawyers

So, Counsel Jay likes Le Monde, eh? Rupert Murdoch dropped this little nugget into the courtroom proceedings after one of their private, tea-break conversations. Jay is [distant smile] "one of the few people who likes Le Monde". That is: a high-minded member of a cloistered, liberal elite. It was a gloss on the "people like you" jab Murdoch had landed earlier.

The Sketch: Off to the tower with this sorry excuse for a minister

The minister looked piteous, like a broken child; halting, faltering, fresh out of virtue

The Sketch: Voyeuristic thrills as News Corp has its evil way with Hunt

A hundred and sixty three pages of emails between your private office and News Corp written during the most sensitive stages of a takeover... and volunteered to the tribunal without a struggle. What a betrayal of such tender intimacy. For Jeremy Hunt, it must have been like having his sex-tape released on the internet.

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