Simon Carr

The Independent's parliamentary sketch writer and columnist since 2000, Simon Carr was described by Tony Blair as "the most vicious sketch writer working in Britain today". "Poison," said Charles Clarke. In the 1980s he helped launch The Independent, and was a speech writer for the prime minister of New Zealand from 1992 to 1994. His working principle is "Indignation keeps us young."

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The Sketch: Not quite a clean bill of health, but Ed's stable

The important thing was the voice. It had lost the pleady, plaintive thing

The Sketch: How's an honest terrorist to know what's going on?

One after the other, MPs stood up goggling at their individual and collective helplessness

Simon Carr: Seeing him, it's hard to believe the reputation

Off his ground, out of his tank, Dacre looked nervous, defensive, even awed under examination

“It is interesting to note that the shyness and reticence that previously overcame the Hon Member for Shipley have now been successfully overcome.”

Point of order, Mr Speaker: Please stop speaking

Talking is part of his job description. But some people have begun to wish that John Bercow would occasionally shut up.

Simon Carr: Drowsy hum of an education bureaucrat

The Sketch

The Sketch: Meet silent executioner from the Cabinet Office

How long does it take to abolish 16 Agricultural Dwelling Houses Advisory Committees?

The Sketch: Another good day for Ed. Have the shackles come off?

He got away with it, on the whole, there was no animus on the backbenches against the Prime Minister; even David Davis left without asking a question. No Tory really blamed him for his EU-turn on the breakaway group's use of the common institutions like the European Court. The Lord only knows whether that really matters or not.

Simon Carr: All this talk of silos is getting us nowhere

Lord Turner talked of 'macroprudential systemic risk' but no one hurled rotten fruit at him

Simon Carr: No wonder Deputy Clegg hates inequality

The Sketch: As Dave was in Davos with the billionaires, Nick was struggling to make ends meet

The Sketch: Ed's role needs a rewrite – and recasting

A wild, warrior cry came out of the back of the chamber from the visitors' bench. Was it Meryl Streep researching her next political role? She's got Fiona Mactaggart off to a T. Looks, manner, voice like a screeching brake. "THAT'S NOT AN ANSWER!" she unleashed herself at Cameron from 50 feet, halfway through PMQs.

Day In a Page

Watch out Watford: Here comes the secretive Bilderberg Group

Watch out Watford: Here comes the secretive Bilderberg Group

A meeting of global power brokers in a Hertfordshire hotel is exciting conspiracy theorists, but what are they really about?
'The ultimate all-in-one home entertainment system': Microsoft finally unveils its Xbox ONE console

'The ultimate all-in-one home entertainment system'

Microsoft finally unveils its Xbox ONE console
Plenty of Fish dating site founder pulls 'Intimate Encounters' option to ward off sleazy men

Plenty of sleaze

Dating website pulls intimate 'hook-up' section to curb harassment
Inferno author Dan Brown 'honoured' to be invited to join the Freemasons

The Freemasons’ Code

Dan Brown reveals the message that told him door to the lodge is open
Not secure any more: G4S boss heads for exit at last

Not secure any more: G4S boss heads for exit at last

Nick Buckles survived the Olympics débâcle and a £5bn bid fiasco but a profit warning finally triggered his downfall
How to say ‘I’m a sellout’: Tumblr’s David Karp’s message of reassurance to his staff sounded very familiar

How to say ‘I’m a sellout’

Tumblr’s David Karp’s message of reassurance to his staff sounded very familiar
Why clubs are keen to take a stand

Why clubs are keen to take a stand

There's a real desire around the grounds for safe standing. But will the authorities listen?
In the end the fans decided Tony Pulis had made a pig's ear of the job at Stoke City

In the end the fans decided Tony Pulis had made a pig's ear of the job at Stoke City

Disillusion with a siege mentality and negative playing style made change inevitable
James Lawton: The James Hunt I knew is the subject of a new F1 movie

James Lawton: The James Hunt I knew is the subject of a new F1 movie

British driver was fascinating man whose epic duel with Niki Lauda in 1976 was typical of an era of glamour and glory – but also the ever-present threat of death
Stuart Hogg: Ready to climb his own Everest

Stuart Hogg: Ready to climb his own Everest

Lions' cub, 20, joins long line of players from Scottish borders club Hawick given opportunity to make his mark at highest level
Carl Froch handed rare chance of revenge with dream rematch

Steve Bunce on Boxing

Carl Froch handed rare chance of revenge with dream rematch against Mikel Kessler
'There is a battle going on inside us that is never discussed'

Masculinity in crisis?

'There is a battle going on inside us that is never discussed'
Have US shock jocks gone too far?

Have US shock jocks gone too far?

An incendiary remark from Rush Limbaugh may be the beginning of the end for outspoken right-wing US broadcasters
The ‘Beverly Hills’ of Surrey pays more income tax than big cities of the North

The ‘Beverly Hills’ of Surrey

Elmbridge pays more income tax than big cities of the North
Heavenly Bodies

Heavenly Bodies

Michael Landy's artistic marriage made in heaven... and hell