Sophie Heawood

Sophie Headwood is a journalist who writes for the Times, Independent and Guardian

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Pop Royalty: Jason Donovan, Kylie Minogue in 1988, when they dominated the charts

Sophie Heawood: Plastic does decompose but we just won't bury it

Stock Aitken Waterman churned out hit after hit in the 1980s, and a revival concert will show their enduring appeal. Our writer can't kick the habit

Sophie Heawood on graduates: 'We felt pretty sorry for you – until you started moaning.'

Sophie Heawood: Bankers need to discover their inner hunter-gatherer. Bin-grazing will help

You might be forgiven a slight irritation when you hear that Lloyds Banking Group has sent a dozen of its top dogs to Champneys luxury spa to learn how to be "effective hunter-gatherers in the corporate jungle".

Sophie Heawood: Women rarely say, gosh, I've had the baby

I'd never given the American pop star Jessica Simpson much thought before. Nice blond hair, reality TV show origins, some songs I can't remember. Until last week, when she became so fully gestational that all her famous friends started banging on about it. "Has Jessica Simpson had that baby yet?! I'm getting anxious," tweeted fellow pop star Katy Perry. TV presenter Chelsea Handler, recently voted one of the world's most influential people by Time magazine, asked much the same thing, only worse: "How has Jessica Simpson still not given birth to this baby? I'm getting frightened." At the risk of suggesting that a woman who hasn't had a baby might not know as much about the subject as one who has, it is clear that neither Perry nor Handler know what it is to be very, very pregnant.

Sophie Heawood: The baby's screams say it all - we'd much rather be in another supermarket

My friend Wyndham – yes! He's a posho! – went on his inaugural visit to Tesco the other day and came back complaining that he didn't like it, horrible place, why would anyone in their right mind shop there, etc. After I sat him down and patiently explained that we can't all afford Fortnum's, dear, he said he vastly preferred Lidl.

Sophie Heawood: Kanye and Kim, the hottest couple of all time, ever, official

The divorce of Katy Perry and Russell Brand is no bombshell. Brangelina, you'll have to do more than whip out a pasty leg at the Oscars if you wish to stay in our hearts and minds. For lo, there is a new power couple in town, and they've come for your crown. The rapper, producer, and all-round pop warrior Kanye West is stepping out with Kim Kardashian, the reality TV star whose celebrity marriage recently came to a tragic celebrity end after 72 long and hard celebrity days. Kanye and Kim, whose affair will be so intense that it's unlikely to last much beyond August, are the hottest couple of all time, ever. They've been papped eating in restaurants, staying at his apartment, going to the cinema, even going to a toy shop. He's written a song about falling in love with her! She says she likes it! Here's why you need to give a damn:

Sophie Heawood: Let's crown Harry king, and skip all the rest

Pigs do not fly. The sun has not yet burnt out. The cloning of human beings remains more problematic than that of sheep. In short, we remain in a vaguely familiar universe, and yet I find myself looking at pictures of Prince Harry dancing the samba in Rio and experiencing great waves of fondness for him, and thinking that, if we must have a king, can't we skip both Charles and William and put the jewels straight on the ruddy little ginger brother?

Sophie Heawood: 'Allo, 'allo, je suis dans le train et dans le tunnel...

So they're going to make mobile phones work in the Channel Tunnel, which is amusing, seeing as they barely work in Kent, or at least the bit of it you pass through on the Eurostar. In fact, mobile phone coverage is so notoriously patchy on most British train journeys that it will be quite spectacular if the only time it now works perfectly is under the sea in a massively reinforced tube.

Sophie Heawood: Glossy stars aren't meant to go like this

Houston had the lungs of America. Her sheen appeared to fans intrinsic, permanent

Sophie Heawood: Traveller TV - one part cringe, one part inspiration

We are in the middle of a craze for gypsies. My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding is about to return for another series, having apparently given Channel 4 its highest viewing figures in years. Then there's Gypsy Blood, Channel 4's documentary last month about the bare-knuckle fighting culture. Paddy Doherty, a boxer, went on to win Celebrity Big Brother and get a spin-off programme of his own, shacking up with Sally Bercow, wife of the Speaker of the House of Commons. Meanwhile, the supermodel Kate Moss says she loves the gypsy weddings so much that they inspired her own. Then, in the news, we've seen the drawn-out evictions at the traveller site at Dale Farm, near Basildon. There are question marks over a traveller site near the Olympic area in east London. Disturbing reports are coming from Hungary of militias rounding up members of the Roma community.

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Oeuf quake

Bill Granger's cracking egg recipes
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