Tim Key is an English actor, writer, and performance poet
26 July 2014 01:00 AM
I was in the queue for the zoo this week when a situation arose. A little boy – maybe six years old, with orange freckles – reached out and held my hand.
19 July 2014 12:00 AM
I need to get my brother another birthday present off Amazon because the last one I got him exploded.
12 July 2014 12:00 AM
I'm sat in my flat, going through my mail in my shellsuit and I'm starting to think about my name a bit. I find it odd that every piece of correspondence seems to have a different way of addressing me and I feel myself reacting differently to each. My name is – famously – Tim Key, and yet everywhere I look alternatives present themselves, scrawled on to envelopes or peeping through windows.
05 July 2014 12:00 AM
Me and Isy are celebrating. She's just taken part in a talent contest and absolutely annihilated the opposition, and now we're leaning against a bouncy castle and celebrating with a couple of Fabs, watching the other kids slope away, their dreams in tatters.
28 June 2014 12:00 AM
I've come to my local café for an hour or so in order to catch up on my emails, read the sports section of The Guardian and knock out my column for The Independent Magazine. But all that's had to be put on hold temporarily because I've just been charmed to pieces by the waitress.
21 June 2014 12:00 AM
I love summer for a bunch of reasons. I get to wear my shades and lie on my roof, sure. And I like eating ice-cold lager with colleagues after work on wooden tables. Summer's also the time of year I tend to find myself eating a pasty in a park on my own. But if there's one thing that really gets me psyched for summer, it's Wimbledon.
14 June 2014 12:00 AM
I found myself indulging in one of life's greatest pleasures this week. A real soul-cleanser. After a hearty meal, and a brisk walk to a local lake, I found myself – initially with just my friend, and then with my friend and an old man – skimming.
07 June 2014 12:00 AM
There is nothing worse than feeling invisible. I am sat in the bar in my hotel in Bulgaria's capital, Sofia. It is called Bullet and there's a ton of things I don't like about it. The atmosphere is smoky (Bulgaria's cool with people smoking indoors still), it's full of hookers and thugs, and the décor and music are loud. But the main thing I don't like is the fact that I can't for the life of me attract the attention of any of the bloody waitresses here!
31 May 2014 12:00 AM
When do you step in? That's what I've been mulling over this morning in my hotel room, in Sofia, the capital of Bulgaria.
24 May 2014 12:00 AM
I'm writing this one in a car. Not trying to sound cooler than I am, but that's just a fact. I'm sat in the back of a black Mercedes-Benz writing my column. No big deal.
Israel-Gaza conflict: The secret report that helps Israelis to hide facts
A day in the life of Vladimir Putin: The dictator in his labyrinth
Opponents of Israel's military operation in Gaza are the real enemies of Middle Eastern peace
Were 'Poor Doors' added to mixed developments so wealthy residents don't have to go in alongside social housing tenants?
Arizona execution lasts two hours as killer Joseph Wood left 'snorting and gasping' for air
Malaysia Airlines MH17 crash: Massive rise in sale of British arms to Russia
- 1 Secret Cinema interview: Why were Back to the Future screenings cancelled?
- 2 Christians: The world's most persecuted people
- 3 Israel-Gaza conflict: The secret report that helps Israelis to hide facts
- 4 Students offered grants if they tweet pro-Israeli propaganda
- 5 Iraq crisis: End 'very near' for Christianity after Isis takeover, says Bishop