Tim Key is an English actor, writer, and performance poet
17 October 2013 05:33 PM
I played rounders last weekend and it was tough. I am not the player I once was. It was really sunny, with a good breeze, but I suddenly felt mortal and it wasn’t nice.
15 October 2013 12:22 PM
I had a Sunday roast with some children last weekend, so this one will be about that.
27 September 2013 04:38 PM
This week my cactus died because I didn’t look after it well enough. I’d had it for four, maybe five weeks, but couldn’t find a pulse on it on Tuesday morning at 08:30 hours and after pressing it and kissing it tons, said a prayer and wanged it in a bin bag and got rid.
19 September 2013 04:53 PM
A friend challenged me to a game of Scrabble. They should have known better
Tim Key: "Daniel Kitson knows what he wants. And he’ll physically smash my hands to pieces to get it."
13 September 2013 02:30 PM
I am currently performing in a play in the North, and have been knocking my column together in the wings in between takes.
06 September 2013 10:00 AM
It’s 20 years since I skilfully played the part of Bottom in A Midsummer Night’s Dream
29 August 2013 02:43 PM
As an adult you can obviously buy candles whenever you want. I started doing that three or four times a week once I was earning a decent wage and it’s killed the magic
22 August 2013 04:23 PM
It’s impossible to combat the unhealthy lifestyle that comes hand-in-hand with an assault on Edinburgh
16 August 2013 02:02 PM
This week I went to a little cottage in the Lake District. I went there on my own, partly to write, partly to breathe in air from the mountains and waterfalls and partly to see whether I could spend five days in complete isolation. No internet. No phone reception. No make-up. No nothing. Would I flourish? Or would I fold, destroy the cottage and then have a difficult conversation with my mum’s friend Barbara, who owns it?
09 August 2013 01:38 PM
I’m sat on my fat arse on the train to Edinburgh and getting emotional. I’m going to the Fringe, my spiritual second or third home. Dewy-eyed, I eat a ham-and-egg bloomer, neck mango-and-apple drink and watch England’s over-hyped scenery whistle by. I devour a vegetable crisp. The train slows down. Peterborough.
Ukip and Nigel Farage on course for remarkable victory in European elections
Katie Hopkins continues campaign to become Britain's most hated talking head with poorly timed Bob Crow tweet
Tony Benn was entirely ineffectual - and usually wrong
No EU referendum under Labour: Ed Miliband to reveal that vote on membership is ‘unlikely’ in next Parliament if party wins power
The rise of Ukip: Study warns Labour that Eurosceptic party's electoral base now 'more working class than any of the main parties'
Europeans have ‘got whiter’ due to natural selection in past 5,000 years, scientists say
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