Virginia Ironside

Virginia Ironside is an agony aunt, columnist and author. She writes the weekly Dilemmas column for The Independent.

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Virginia Ironside's Dilemmas: Busy body

A busy, new friend keeps cancelling their arrangements. Is she trying to tell this reader something? Or is our reader just feeling insecure?

Virginia Ironside's Dilemmas: Safe or sorry?

This reader admonished another manager's staff member when they failed to follow proper fire safety procedure. The other manager sent an irate email to complain. Who's in the wrong?

Virginia Ironside's Dilemmas: Babysitter blues

By offering free childcare, is this reader being a good sister or just interfering in her sibling's rocky marriage?

Virginia Ironside's Dilemmas: My elderly mum is driving me mad

A reader's 90-year-old mother rings day and night and visits everyday. Is she selfish to want some time to herself?

Virginia Ironside's Dilemmas: Cult car crisis

This reader's cousin gives the money meant for car insurance to her guru instead. Should he report her behind her back? Or let her drive uninsured?

Virginia Ironside's Dilemmas: The perils of playing peacemaker

A well-meaning friend finds herself in the precarious role of peacemaker. It's a wobbly tightrope, says Virginia, and there's no easy way down.

Virginia Ironside's Dilemmas

Dear Virginia, I was very unhappy when my boyfriend of three years suddenly dropped me. It’s taken me six months to get over him and I still don’t feel I’ve recovered. I really thought we might get married. Now I’ve got a new boyfriend, who I like a lot and who’s kind and considerate. In many ways he’s a much nicer person, but I still hanker after my old boyfriend. But my ex got in touch recently and when we met he said he’d made a terrible mistake and wanted to get back together. Do you think I should risk it? I feel so torn – can’t stop thinking about him! Yours sincerely, Moira

Virginia Ironside's Dilemmas

Dear Virginia,

I'm a single parent and my son is 23. He recieved a very poor degree from his university and is struggling to find a job. He's also recently been dumped by his girlfriend and is feeling very depressed - he lives in a house with some friends. My problem is that I have just discovered I have cervical cancer. No one can tell me what my chances are of survival. I have a supportive group of friends but I just don't know whether to tell my son. I don't want to add to his worries. What should I do?

Yours sincerely, Catrin

Virginia Ironside's Dilemmas

My 13 -year-old daughter spends all her time on her computer, and recently she's become very secretive as well. She's often texting and giggling and won't tell us what it's about. I became so worried, I'm afraid I got into her email when she was out – not difficult to guess her password, it was the name of our cat – and was horrified to find she's in touch with some bloke who has been sending her all these sexual messages. He says he's 15, but I'm pretty sure it's some older man, by the way he writes. What can I do? Yours sincerely, Susie

Virginia Ironside's Dilemmas

When our children left home, although I loved them I was secretly relieved. My wife's life revolved around them, and though I knew she was a marvellous mother, I always felt second best. Now our daughter, who's 23, has announced she's coming home for a while, because she's out of a job and though my wife's overjoyed, I feel very depressed. For the last year my wife and I have had a wonderful time - it's been like falling in love all over again. Now I fear I'll be completely sidelined. I dread retreating to my office while 'the girls' take over. What can I do? Yours sincerely, Michael

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