Viv Groskop

Viv Groskop is a writer, broadcaster and stand-up comedian.

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Put a price on parenthood if you must, but leave me out of it - I passed that point a long time ago

Counting the cost of childhood is like asking an alcoholic to tot up their units. If you find yourself doing it, there's probably something wrong with your life

Teacher morale at all time low: Cheer up, Miss, some of us love you

Many parents have as much respect for teachers as Michael Gove does teachers being bad-mouthed by parents in public

With all the fuss over Kate Middleton's baby, have we learned nothing since Princess Diana?

God help us if the Royal Foetus is all we have to look forward to in 2013

Why must sex pervade everything on TV? Not even Mary Berry's mince pies are safe

By the time the festive Nigella popped up, bosom heaving, viewers were in need of Viagra. Thankfully, she had a massive supply.

Putin's right this time: If you’re going to have children, then three is the magic number

The Russian President has urged his countrymen to aim for three kids

The utilisations and abuses of modern English

‘Tax arrangements’ turn out to be arrangements by which you arrange to not pay any tax.

Excrement in the Turner Prize? And I'm supposed to be surprised?

This year's Turner Prize includes excrement in an orgy and a bearded lady from a nudist colony.

The perks of a life of Crimewatch

No one could have imagined the house’s value would rise by 3,800 per cent.

Why can't we have more TV presenters like Mary Beard?

The BBC's trouble with grey hair

Unless you project an image as an “eccentric” or a “one-off” then as a woman you don’t have much chance unless you play the pretty game

These scary links to Alzheimer’s won’t stop us scoffing junk food

Notebook: The mind-bending properties of chocolate biscuits and Strictly Come Dancing's brand new Olympic line-up

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Day In a Page

The children were playing in the street with toy guns. The air strikes were tragically real

The air strikes were tragically real

The children were playing in the street with toy guns
Boozy, ignorant, intolerant, but very polite – The British, as others see us

Britain as others see us

Boozy, ignorant, intolerant, but very polite
Countries that don’t survey their tigers risk losing them altogether

Countries that don’t survey their tigers risk losing them

Jonathon Porritt sounds the alarm
How did our legends really begin?

How did our legends really begin?

Applying the theory of evolution to the world's many mythologies
Watch out: Lambrusco is back on the menu

Lambrusco is back on the menu

Naff Seventies corner-shop staple is this year's Aperol Spritz
A new Russian revolution: Cracks start to appear in Putin’s Kremlin power bloc

A new Russian revolution

Cracks start to appear in Putin’s Kremlin power bloc
Eugene de Kock: Apartheid’s sadistic killer that his country cannot forgive

Apartheid’s sadistic killer that his country cannot forgive

The debate rages in South Africa over whether Eugene de Kock should ever be released from jail
Standing my ground: If sitting is bad for your health, what happens when you stay on your feet for a whole month?

Standing my ground

If sitting is bad for your health, what happens when you stay on your feet for a whole month?
Commonwealth Games 2014: Dai Greene prays for chance to rebuild after injury agony

Greene prays for chance to rebuild after injury agony

Welsh hurdler was World, European and Commonwealth champion, but then the injuries crept in
Israel-Gaza conflict: Secret report helps Israelis to hide facts

Patrick Cockburn: Secret report helps Israel to hide facts

The slickness of Israel's spokesmen is rooted in directions set down by pollster Frank Luntz
The man who dared to go on holiday

The man who dared to go on holiday

New York's mayor has taken a vacation - in a nation that has still to enforce paid leave, it caused quite a stir, reports Rupert Cornwell
Best comedians: How the professionals go about their funny business, from Sarah Millican to Marcus Brigstocke

Best comedians: How the professionals go about their funny business

For all those wanting to know how stand-ups keep standing, here are some of the best moments
The Guest List 2014: Forget the Man Booker longlist, Literary Editor Katy Guest offers her alternative picks

The Guest List 2014

Forget the Man Booker longlist, Literary Editor Katy Guest offers her alternative picks
Jokes on Hollywood: 'With comedy film audiences shrinking, it’s time to move on'

Jokes on Hollywood

With comedy film audiences shrinking, it’s time to move on