Julia Stephenson: The Green Goddess

A A A

Next month, Claridge's opens its much-heralded Water Bar, selling 30 brands from as far afield as the icebergs of Newfoundland, the volcanoes of New Zealand, and the virgin streams of Hawaii, to "discerning" customers. These waters are more expensive than good wine. One variety, 420 Volcanic, sourced through 200m of rock, costs £21 for 42cl, which works out at £50 a litre. Who will buy this stuff? Has the world gone mad?

Fortunately, sanity is at hand. The grand opening of the Water Bar coincides with a campaign to promote London's tap water. Inspired by the French water authority's successful campaign to promote Paris tap water by rechristening it Eau de Paris, Jenny Jones, the Green member of the London Assembly, hopes to do the same for good old eau de Londres by encouraging punters to ask for it in bars and restaurants.

"Mineral" water is often nothing of the kind. Sold as health-giving and rich in minerals, it's actually subject to less rigorous testing and purity standards than London tap water. And there are growing fears that plastic bottles may leach carcinogenic residues into the water.

There's also the devastating environmental impact of extracting water from the ground, packaging it and shipping or flying it round the world. Some 22 million tons of bottled water are transported each year, according to the Earth Policy Institute.

I reckon that the water that comes out of my wonderful reverse-osmosis filter unit beneath my sink – or Sloane Square Spring as I prefer to call it – is far superior. It's pure, it's cheap, and it avoids me having to lug crates of water to my flat.

Meanwhile, always looking for ways to increase my housekeeping (and inspired by an erstwhile chairman of a large water company who admitted: "It struck me ... that all you had to do was take the water out of the ground, then sell it for more than the price of wine, milk, or, for that matter, oil"), I've decided to jump on the bandwagon, so I contacted Claridge's and invited it to be the exclusive purveyor of Sloane Square Spring. Not only, I explained, does it taste delicious (entre nous, it doesn't taste of much, but then it is only water, for heaven's sake), but it is the world's first zero-carbon, zero-waste water. There will be no food miles incurred because I've lined up Polish Stephan and his team of tuk-tuk drivers to deliver, and packaging will be minimal as I can use the stacks of discarded bottles that get dumped in my bike basket.

Claridge's said that the "water menu" is quite full at the moment, but they'd get back to me. Huh.

Luckily, I've got a hot new lead. Connie is now dating a chef at the Aloha! Hilton in Honolulu who is very interested. If I buy my tuk-tuk boys some pedalos, we could have a deal.



www.freshwaterfilter.com

j.stephenson@independent.co.uk

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
iJobs Job Widget
iJobs General

Recruitment Genius: Bookkeeper / Office Co-ordinator

£9 per hour: Recruitment Genius: This role is based within a small family run ...

Recruitment Genius: Designer - Print & Digital

£28000 - £32000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This Design and marketing agenc...

Recruitment Genius: Quantity Surveyor

£46000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This property investment firm are lookin...

Recruitment Genius: Telesales / Telemarketing Executive - OTE £30k / £35k plus

£18000 - £35000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This company specialises provid...

Day In a Page

HIV pill: Scientists hail discovery of 'game-changer' that cuts the risk of infection among gay men by 86%

Scientists hail daily pill that protects against HIV infection

Breakthrough in battle against global scourge – but will the NHS pay for it?
How we must adjust our lifestyles to nature: Welcome to the 'Anthropocene', the human epoch

Time to play God

Welcome to the 'Anthropocene', the human epoch where we may need to redefine nature itself
MacGyver returns, but with a difference: Handyman hero of classic 1980s TV series to be recast as a woman

MacGyver returns, but with a difference

Handyman hero of classic 1980s TV series to be recast as a woman
Tunnel renaissance: Why cities are hiding roads down in the ground

Tunnel renaissance

Why cities are hiding roads underground
'Backstreet Boys - Show 'Em What You're Made Of': An affectionate look at five middle-aged men

Boys to men

The Backstreet Boys might be middle-aged, married and have dodgy knees, but a heartfelt documentary reveals they’re not going gently into pop’s good night
Crufts 2015: Should foreign dogs be allowed to compete?

Crufts 2015

Should foreign dogs be allowed to compete?
10 best projectors

How to make your home cinema more cinematic: 10 best projectors

Want to recreate the big-screen experience in your sitting room? IndyBest sizes up gadgets to form your film-watching
Manchester City 1 Barcelona 2 player ratings: Luis Suarez? Lionel Messi? Joe Hart? Who was the star man?

Manchester City vs Barcelona player ratings

Luis Suarez? Lionel Messi? Joe Hart? Who was the star man at the Etihad?
Arsenal vs Monaco: Monaco - the making of Gunners' manager Arsene Wenger

Monaco: the making of Wenger

Jack Pitt-Brooke speaks to former players and learns the Frenchman’s man-management has always been one of his best skills
Cricket World Cup 2015: Chris Gayle - the West Indies' enigma lives up to his reputation

Chris Gayle: The West Indies' enigma

Some said the game's eternal rebel was washed up. As ever, he proved he writes the scripts by producing a blistering World Cup innings
In Ukraine a dark world of hybrid warfare and murky loyalties prevails

In Ukraine a dark world of hybrid warfare

This war in the shadows has been going on since the fall of Mr Yanukovych
'Birdman' and 'Bullets Over Broadway': Homage or plagiarism?

Homage or plagiarism?

'Birdman' shares much DNA with Woody Allen's 'Bullets Over Broadway'
Broadchurch ends as damp squib not even David Tennant can revive

A damp squib not even David Tennant can revive

Broadchurch, Series 2 finale, review
A Koi carp breeding pond, wall-mounted iPads and a bathroom with a 'wellness' shower: inside the mansion of Germany's 'Bishop of Bling'

Inside the mansion of Germany's 'Bishop of Bling'

A Koi carp breeding pond, wall-mounted iPads and a bathroom with a 'wellness' shower