On the box

Dark rumours still abound of tiresomely Kafkaesque goings-on in the tight-collared bureaucracy that is John Birt's BBC. What a dungeon of cowed clerks it must be, with the old chatter about culture and the pursuit of the beautiful peremptorily replaced by finger-wagging budget Cerberuses and eldritch new hierarchical structures. To test this theory, an idle phone call to the Beeb's News and Current Affairs Press Office was made. On the box urgently wanted to grill the esteemed officers about US elections, brown as the new black, life on Mars and so forth. Instead, the entire crew were absent for two days on a "Departmental Management" course, leaving only a charming junior to staff the phone lines. Well, it's summer, one charitably supposes, and no news is good news.

To celebrate three decades of the Starship Enterprise, slouch in front of BBC2's Star Trek Night (Mon), the highlights of which are: Science: the Final Frontier (8pm), examining the feasibility of matter transference, warp drive, "Phasers on stun" and so forth; Star Trek Story (9.25pm), portrays the cultural impact of the series in the cold war years; and Star Trek: Voyager (10.50pm), the pilot episode of the latest spin-off. Not many people know that the Star Trek line which accompanied human transportation was a misheard version of the catchphrase current in a Milwaukee seafood restaurant, owned by an old man in a kilt. "Bream me up, Scotty." You heard it here first.

Grim news from the audience ratings front. A paltry 2.72 million of you watched last week's edition of Frasier (C4), the pricelessy dippy American sitcom about a radio psychiatrist with an enormous cranium. That's only 86 per cent of the audience of (snooze) Countdown, and 73 per cent of the increasingly emetic Friends. Such people need their heads examined.

STEVEN POOLE

News
peopleFrankie Boyle responds to referendum result in characteristically offensive style
News
news
Life and Style
Couples have been having sex less in 2014, according to a new survey
life
New Articles
i100... with this review
PROMOTED VIDEO
Voices
Holly's review of Peterborough's Pizza Express quickly went viral on social media
Sport
footballTim Sherwood: This might be th match to wake up Manchester City
Arts and Entertainment
musicHow female vocalists are now writing their own hits
New Articles
i100
News
news
Arts and Entertainment
musicBiographer Hunter Davies has collected nearly a hundred original manuscripts
News
Blahnik says: 'I think I understand the English more than they do themselves'
people
Arts and Entertainment
Michelle Dockery as Lady Mary Crawley in Downton Abbey
TVInside Downton Abbey series 5
Life and Style
The term 'normcore' was given the oxygen of publicity by New York magazine during the autumn/winter shows in Paris in February
fashionWhen is a trend a non-trend? When it's Normcore, since you ask
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?

Day In a Page

Scottish referendum: The Yes vote was the love that dared speak its name, but it was not to be

Despite the result, this is the end of the status quo

Boyd Tonkin on the fall-out from the Scottish referendum
Manolo Blahnik: The high priest of heels talks flats, Englishness, and why he loves Mary Beard

Manolo Blahnik: Flats, Englishness, and Mary Beard

The shoe designer who has been dubbed 'the patron saint of the stiletto'
The Beatles biographer reveals exclusive original manuscripts of some of the best pop songs ever written

Scrambled eggs and LSD

Behind The Beatles' lyrics - thanks to Hunter Davis's original manuscript copies
'Normcore' fashion: Blending in is the new standing out in latest catwalk non-trend

'Normcore': Blending in is the new standing out

Just when fashion was in grave danger of running out of trends, it only went and invented the non-trend. Rebecca Gonsalves investigates
Dance’s new leading ladies fight back: How female vocalists are now writing their own hits

New leading ladies of dance fight back

How female vocalists are now writing their own hits
Mystery of the Ground Zero wedding photo

A shot in the dark

Mystery of the wedding photo from Ground Zero
His life, the universe and everything

His life, the universe and everything

New biography sheds light on comic genius of Douglas Adams
Save us from small screen superheroes

Save us from small screen superheroes

Shows like Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D are little more than marketing tools
Reach for the skies

Reach for the skies

From pools to football pitches, rooftop living is looking up
These are the 12 best hotel spas in the UK

12 best hotel spas in the UK

Some hotels go all out on facilities; others stand out for the sheer quality of treatments
These Iranian-controlled Shia militias used to specialise in killing American soldiers. Now they are fighting Isis, backed up by US airstrikes

Widespread fear of Isis is producing strange bedfellows

Iranian-controlled Shia militias that used to kill American soldiers are now fighting Isis, helped by US airstrikes
Topshop goes part Athena poster, part last spring Prada

Topshop goes part Athena poster, part last spring Prada

Shoppers don't come to Topshop for the unique
How to make a Lego masterpiece

How to make a Lego masterpiece

Toy breaks out of the nursery and heads for the gallery
Meet the ‘Endies’ – city dwellers who are too poor to have fun

Meet the ‘Endies’ – city dwellers who are too poor to have fun

Urbanites are cursed with an acronym pointing to Employed but No Disposable Income or Savings
Paisley’s decision to make peace with IRA enemies might remind the Arabs of Sadat

Ian Paisley’s decision to make peace with his IRA enemies

His Save Ulster from Sodomy campaign would surely have been supported by many a Sunni imam