Some housekeeping first: apologies to those who noticed the crossword numbering changed last week. This is due to a transmission glitch that some of the finest IT minds are trying to resolve. Normal fonts should be restored today. We realise this stuff really does matter to you.

Enough parish notices. Back to Christmas. It appears I'm the Scrooge. Many of you – from 10 Downing Street on down – clearly believe that if it's December, it's tree-tastic. End of. Time then to discuss my other festive headache: cards.

It's depressing to read so much about so many planning to send so few Christmas cards this year. Although, I've been known to buy the cards, write them, address them and stick down the envelopes, but never getting around to actually posting the blasted things, it really is the thought that counts. There is no digital experience yet that beats a hand-written card plopping on to the doormat from someone you know* – sheesh, anything plopping on to the mat that isn't from a corporation will do.

Then there's the type of card. What's the thought process behind sending someone a card that says "Merry Christmas, you spoilt little s***" or "no presents for you, you've been w****** too much"? Come on, people, we're classier than that. Send a card to someone you care for. Keep it traditional, and write something personal in it that isn't a) crude, or b) a round-robin letter. Aargh! That's another column!

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*Is it just me who finds getting cards from people you don't know bizarre and self-defeating, removing nearly all meaning from the act?