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Page 3 Profile: Bez, musician


Move over Russell Brand…

The maraca-shakin’, pill-poppin’ dancer with 80s indie band Happy Mondays is making a grab for the reins of the revolution.

What’s he offering?

Pretty much everything. He says he plans to stand as an MP in 2015, he’s promised to bring about a ‘new world order’, put a stop to ‘divide and rule’ strategies, smash the banking system and, uh, cure cancer. 

Sounds good. How are we getting there?

Via Salford. It’s the seat he’s said he’ll contest at the general election.

Brilliant! What can voters expect?

“I don’t know yet, I’m in the midst of writing it up,” he said when asked about local policies.

Er, OK. And the cancer thing...?

Yeah, don’t worry, he’s got cancer sorted. “One of my policies would be a permacultural society where we’ll end illness and get everybody back to an alkaline state.” This permaculture society, he reckons, is just the ticket for curing the nation’s second biggest killer as well as dementia.

What else has he been up to?

He appeared in Celebrity Big Brother in 2005, in part to pay off a tax bill. Now he busies himself with bee-keeping and beer brewing.

Any final thoughts?

On politics: “If you want to do something about things you’ve got to get into the corridors of power.” On melon twisting: “Yer twistin’ my melon man”.