By Noddy Holder's sacred hat
In mirror discs adorning that
The platform boots, the gaudy checks
The ruddy roughened cheeks convex
And mutton-chopped from ear to chin
In cheery Midland rustic grin
Nostalgia in the beery glow
Of Christmas 20 years ago
But once you heard you understood
That nothing else could be as good
The brimstone larynx of the devil
On the boy they christened 'Neville'
Bono phoned me up
And I was painting
Said, 'Is that Bill Clinton?'
I said, 'No
It's Mr Arthur Harris
A builder based in Chelmsford
I'm doing up my sister's bungalow'
Bono said, 'Come off it Mr Clinton
There's several hundred thousand
I'm speaking from the stage
This is Zooropa]'
'Ah,' I said
'You didn't sound too clear
I suggest you try the operator
Not some bloke who's doing DIY
Furthermore, your last LP was rubbish'
'Thank you Mr Harris -
And goodbye.' Click, brrrrr
Linda McCartney's Pies
Paul McCartney in the kitchen
Helping Linda with her pies
Looked up from a finished pie-top
Gazed into his partner's eyes
Saying, 'Since the Beatles finished
Critics claim my tunes are limper
Is this how my world has ended?
Not with a twang - but with a crimper?'
There Goes Non-Rhyming Garfunkel
Awkward on the record sleeves
Haircut wasn't right
Not a pretty sight
Known for singing very high
Caught the acting habit
Followed with a solo smash
Song about a rabbit
Then a brief re-union
Now a brand new start
Some reviewers say it's pop
Ah, but is it Art?Reuse content