American graffiti

Good luck to the 15.7 million South Baptists trying to say no to all things Disney. The church's recent tantrum about Uncle Walt's alleged gay-friendliness means that its members will now have to stay clear of the multi-tentacled corporation's theme parks, superstores, and major television network (ABC), and generally be very careful about their entertainment diet (from films to sporting events, books to CDs). Among summer movies alone, the boycott translates as: no Con Air, no George of the Jungle, no Hercules - and, by virtue of the inevitable Hercules-McDonald's tie- in, no Happy Meals. The Southern Baptists have repeatedly lashed out at Disney for offering health benefits to partners of gay employees, and at its subsidiary Miramax for releasing filth like Pulp Fiction, Kids, and worst of all, the gay-themed Priest (originally set for a Good Friday opening). When Ellen DeGeneres came out on prime-time ABC, it was just too much for their delicate dispositions (a church leader has reportedly likened watching ABC to "spending time with a prostitute").

The glaring absurdity in all this is that Disney is still very much Family Values Central. Southern Baptists would probably approve of the new animated blockbuster, the Disneyfieid Hercules - that is, if they would actually see it. In what is admittedly its wittiest cartoon since Aladdin, the studio renders the boy-loving demi-god staunchly heterosexual's he's also the product of a happy (married) family, as opposed to the bastard son of Zeus. The church boycott appears to be affecting company policy already. Last week, Disney-owned Hollywood Records recalled all copies of an album by a hip-hop act called the Insane Clown Posse within hours of its release, claiming that the raunchy lyrics had, at the last minute, been deemed "inappropriate".

Had enough of "MMMBop?" If so, the Internet offers numerous outlets for venting Hanson-related spleen: among others, the Marilyn Hanson site, the I Hate Hanson site, the Hanson Are Gimps site. Be prepared, though, for some unironic, aggressively putrid sentiments involving decapitation fantasies and the like, most of which, unsurprisingly, come from the American heartland. You see, Hanson's pubescent androgyny somehow strikes a nerve in dumb middle-American male insecurity. The three brothers are called the "queerest" band in the world, peddlers of "gay pansy shit", and the onomatopoeic chorus of "MMMBop" is bizarrely pronounced "the gayest chorus ever". It's intriguing to see that much of this violent, almost unanimously male loathing stems from an initial attraction to squeaky-voiced, pretty- boy singer Taylor ("sooo femine [sic] looking") - the half wits weren't terribly amused when they found out he wasn't a "cute girl".

Far more disturbing than Hanson, but still without his own web-site, is a singer-songwriter called Bob Carlisle. Normally filed under "Christian Pop" or "New Age" or "Adult Contemporary" or something similarly worrying, Carlisle has scored the most peculiar crossover pop hit in recent memory. His "Butterfly Kisses" went to No 1 on the mainstream album charts last week (fighting off the Wu-Tang Clan, Paul McCartney and the Spice Girls), largely thanks to extensive radio play of its title track. Both nauseating and truly creepy, it's a slushly ballad about Carlisle's enormous pride for his teenage daughter as she "becomes a woman". He wrote the song as a birthday present to her and even sang it at her high-school graduation; it was, he explained, simply his way of saying that he's "so very grateful that she's so very normal and lovely and loves God and loves us". One suspects the Southern Baptists are grateful too.

Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Life and Style
ebookNow available in paperback
ebooks
ebookA delicious collection of 50 meaty main courses
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

SPONSORED FEATURES

ES Rentals

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs General

    Recruitment Genius: Office / Sales Manager

    £22000 - £32000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Established and expanding South...

    Recruitment Genius: Administrative Assistant / Order Fulfilment

    £14000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: An exciting opportunity to join a thrivi...

    SThree: Trainee Recruitment Consultant

    £18000 - £23000 per annum + Uncapped OTE: SThree: Trainee Recruitment Consulta...

    SThree: Trainee Recruitment Consultant

    £18000 - £23000 per annum + Uncapped OTE: SThree: Trainee Recruitment Consulta...

    Day In a Page

    Refugee crisis: David Cameron lowered the flag for the dead king of Saudi Arabia - will he do the same honour for little Aylan Kurdi?

    Cameron lowered the flag for the dead king of Saudi Arabia...

    But will he do the same honour for little Aylan Kurdi, asks Robert Fisk
    Our leaders lack courage in this refugee crisis. We are shamed by our European neighbours

    Our leaders lack courage in this refugee crisis. We are shamed by our European neighbours

    Humanity must be at the heart of politics, says Jeremy Corbyn
    Joe Biden's 'tease tour': Could the US Vice-President be testing the water for a presidential run?

    Joe Biden's 'tease tour'

    Could the US Vice-President be testing the water for a presidential run?
    Britain's 24-hour culture: With the 'leisured society' a distant dream we're working longer and less regular hours than ever

    Britain's 24-hour culture

    With the 'leisured society' a distant dream we're working longer and less regular hours than ever
    Diplomacy board game: Treachery is the way to win - which makes it just like the real thing

    The addictive nature of Diplomacy

    Bullying, betrayal, aggression – it may be just a board game, but the family that plays Diplomacy may never look at each other in the same way again
    Lady Chatterley's Lover: Racy underwear for fans of DH Lawrence's equally racy tome

    Fashion: Ooh, Lady Chatterley!

    Take inspiration from DH Lawrence's racy tome with equally racy underwear
    8 best children's clocks

    Tick-tock: 8 best children's clocks

    Whether you’re teaching them to tell the time or putting the finishing touches to a nursery, there’s a ticker for that
    Charlie Austin: Queens Park Rangers striker says ‘If the move is not right, I’m not going’

    Charlie Austin: ‘If the move is not right, I’m not going’

    After hitting 18 goals in the Premier League last season, the QPR striker was the great non-deal of transfer deadline day. But he says he'd preferred another shot at promotion
    Isis profits from destruction of antiquities by selling relics to dealers - and then blowing up the buildings they come from to conceal the evidence of looting

    How Isis profits from destruction of antiquities

    Robert Fisk on the terrorist group's manipulation of the market to increase the price of artefacts
    Labour leadership: Andy Burnham urges Jeremy Corbyn voters to think again in last-minute plea

    'If we lose touch we’ll end up with two decades of the Tories'

    In an exclusive interview, Andy Burnham urges Jeremy Corbyn voters to think again in last-minute plea
    Tunisia fears its Arab Spring could be reversed as the new regime becomes as intolerant of dissent as its predecessor

    The Arab Spring reversed

    Tunisian protesters fear that a new law will whitewash corrupt businessmen and officials, but they are finding that the new regime is becoming as intolerant of dissent as its predecessor
    King Arthur: Legendary figure was real and lived most of his life in Strathclyde, academic claims

    Academic claims King Arthur was real - and reveals where he lived

    Dr Andrew Breeze says the legendary figure did exist – but was a general, not a king
    Who is Oliver Bonas and how has he captured middle-class hearts?

    Who is Oliver Bonas?

    It's the first high-street store to pay its staff the living wage, and it saw out the recession in style
    Earth has 'lost more than half its trees' since humans first started cutting them down

    Axe-wielding Man fells half the world’s trees – leaving us just 422 each

    However, the number of trees may be eight times higher than previously thought
    60 years of Scalextric: Model cars are now stuffed with as much tech as real ones

    60 years of Scalextric

    Model cars are now stuffed with as much tech as real ones