American graffiti

Good luck to the 15.7 million South Baptists trying to say no to all things Disney. The church's recent tantrum about Uncle Walt's alleged gay-friendliness means that its members will now have to stay clear of the multi-tentacled corporation's theme parks, superstores, and major television network (ABC), and generally be very careful about their entertainment diet (from films to sporting events, books to CDs). Among summer movies alone, the boycott translates as: no Con Air, no George of the Jungle, no Hercules - and, by virtue of the inevitable Hercules-McDonald's tie- in, no Happy Meals. The Southern Baptists have repeatedly lashed out at Disney for offering health benefits to partners of gay employees, and at its subsidiary Miramax for releasing filth like Pulp Fiction, Kids, and worst of all, the gay-themed Priest (originally set for a Good Friday opening). When Ellen DeGeneres came out on prime-time ABC, it was just too much for their delicate dispositions (a church leader has reportedly likened watching ABC to "spending time with a prostitute").

The glaring absurdity in all this is that Disney is still very much Family Values Central. Southern Baptists would probably approve of the new animated blockbuster, the Disneyfieid Hercules - that is, if they would actually see it. In what is admittedly its wittiest cartoon since Aladdin, the studio renders the boy-loving demi-god staunchly heterosexual's he's also the product of a happy (married) family, as opposed to the bastard son of Zeus. The church boycott appears to be affecting company policy already. Last week, Disney-owned Hollywood Records recalled all copies of an album by a hip-hop act called the Insane Clown Posse within hours of its release, claiming that the raunchy lyrics had, at the last minute, been deemed "inappropriate".

Had enough of "MMMBop?" If so, the Internet offers numerous outlets for venting Hanson-related spleen: among others, the Marilyn Hanson site, the I Hate Hanson site, the Hanson Are Gimps site. Be prepared, though, for some unironic, aggressively putrid sentiments involving decapitation fantasies and the like, most of which, unsurprisingly, come from the American heartland. You see, Hanson's pubescent androgyny somehow strikes a nerve in dumb middle-American male insecurity. The three brothers are called the "queerest" band in the world, peddlers of "gay pansy shit", and the onomatopoeic chorus of "MMMBop" is bizarrely pronounced "the gayest chorus ever". It's intriguing to see that much of this violent, almost unanimously male loathing stems from an initial attraction to squeaky-voiced, pretty- boy singer Taylor ("sooo femine [sic] looking") - the half wits weren't terribly amused when they found out he wasn't a "cute girl".

Far more disturbing than Hanson, but still without his own web-site, is a singer-songwriter called Bob Carlisle. Normally filed under "Christian Pop" or "New Age" or "Adult Contemporary" or something similarly worrying, Carlisle has scored the most peculiar crossover pop hit in recent memory. His "Butterfly Kisses" went to No 1 on the mainstream album charts last week (fighting off the Wu-Tang Clan, Paul McCartney and the Spice Girls), largely thanks to extensive radio play of its title track. Both nauseating and truly creepy, it's a slushly ballad about Carlisle's enormous pride for his teenage daughter as she "becomes a woman". He wrote the song as a birthday present to her and even sang it at her high-school graduation; it was, he explained, simply his way of saying that he's "so very grateful that she's so very normal and lovely and loves God and loves us". One suspects the Southern Baptists are grateful too.

Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Life and Style
ebookNow available in paperback
ebooks
ebookA delicious collection of 50 meaty main courses
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

ES Rentals

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs General

    Recruitment Genius: Sales Executive - OTE £30,000+

    £16000 - £30000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: They are looking for individual...

    Recruitment Genius: IT Project Coordinator / Manager

    £25000 - £40000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Project Coordinator is requir...

    Recruitment Genius: Mortgage Advisor - OTE £95,000

    £40000 - £95000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is an exciting opportunity...

    Recruitment Genius: Trainee Vehicle Inspectors / Purchasers

    £20000 - £40000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Trainee Vehicle Inspectors / Pu...

    Day In a Page

    Greece debt crisis: EU 'family' needs to forgive rather than punish an impoverished state

    EU 'family' needs to forgive rather than punish an impoverished state

    An outbreak of malaria in Greece four years ago helps us understand the crisis, says Robert Fisk
    Gaza, a year on from Operation Protective Edge: The traumatised kibbutz on Israel's front line, still recovering from last summer's war with Hamas

    Gaza, a year on from Operation Protective Edge

    The traumatised kibbutz on Israel's front line, still recovering from last summer's war with Hamas
    How to survive electrical storms: What are the chances of being hit by lightning?

    Heavy weather

    What are the chances of being hit by lightning?
    World Bodypainting Festival 2015: Bizarre and brilliant photos celebrate 'the body as art'

    World Bodypainting Festival 2015

    Bizarre and brilliant photos celebrate 'the body as art'
    alt-j: A private jet, a Mercury Prize and Latitude headliners

    Don't call us nerds

    Craig Mclean meets alt-j - the math-folk act who are flying high
    How to find gold: The Californian badlands, digging out crevasses and sifting sludge

    How to find gold

    Steve Boggan finds himself in the Californian badlands, digging out crevasses and sifting sludge
    Singing accents: From Herman's Hermits and David Bowie to Alesha Dixon

    Not born in the USA

    Lay off Alesha Dixon: songs sound better in US accents, even our national anthem
    10 best balsamic vinegars

    10 best balsamic vinegars

    Drizzle it over salad, enjoy it with ciabatta, marinate vegetables, or use it to add depth to a sauce - this versatile staple is a cook's best friend
    Wimbledon 2015: Brief glimpses of the old Venus but Williams sisters' epic wars belong to history

    Brief glimpses of the old Venus but Williams sisters' epic wars belong to history

    Serena dispatched her elder sister 6-4, 6-3 in eight minutes more than an hour
    Greece says 'No': A night of huge celebrations in Athens as voters decisively back Tsipras and his anti-austerity stance in historic referendum

    Greece referendum

    Greeks say 'No' to austerity and plunge Europe into crisis
    Ten years after the 7/7 terror attacks, is Britain an altered state?

    7/7 bombings anniversary

    Ten years after the terror attacks, is Britain an altered state?
    Beautiful evening dresses are some of the loveliest Donatella has created

    Versace haute couture review

    Beautiful evening dresses are some of the loveliest Donatella has ever created
    No hope and no jobs, so Gaza's young risk their lives, climb the fence and run for it

    No hope and no jobs in Gaza

    So the young risk their lives and run for it
    Fashion apps: Retailers roll together shopping and social networking for mobile customers

    Fashion apps

    Retailers roll together shopping and social networking for mobile customers
    The Greek referendum exposes a gaping hole at the heart of the European Union – its distinct lack of any genuine popular legitimacy

    Gaping hole at the heart of the European Union

    Treatment of Greece has shown up a lack of genuine legitimacy