It's a bit chilly. Am I in Norway?
COUNTRY AND REGION
I'm in south-west Bulgaria on the eastern slopes of the Pirin Mountains
NEAREST HUMAN SETTLEMENTS
It's a toss up between the town of Breznitsa to the west and the village of Gospodintsi, both of which are a 3-4km scramble over rocks and through trees.
NATURE OF THE TERRAIN
This is steep valley forested with conifers. Beneath you is the gushing River Mesta and high above are sharply glaciated massifs with bare rocky peaks.
Being hit on the head by a falling tree. Lumbering is one of the mainstays of the local economy.
Knowledge of Bulgarian is best with Russian a close second, but don't be surprised to come across middle-aged bureaucrats who are itching to show of their French.
TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER
Beleaguered President Zheler is widely perceived as indecisive and weak. Maybe you won't bother after all...
LIKELY WEATHER CONDITIONS
The hot dry summer has given way to the cold and damp with the promise of heavy snows soon.
REASONS FOR HANGING AROUND
The Pirin National Park, which is a paradise for hikers, is just a 15km stomp away.
GETTING THE HELL OUT OF THERE
Hitch a ride north to Bansko in one of the privately owned and curiously named Dildo cars. From Bansko you can catch the early morning train to Sofia with its international airport.Reuse content