I MUST have been off my trolley to have suggested the idea of new regulatory bodies starting with the letters Of-. Poor David Bowen had to bear the first onrush of suggestions but still they are pouring in. New horrors range from Offenbach (to con trol noise pollution caused by pets), Offchance (gamblers), Offside (linesmen), Offbeat (policemen), Often (Prime Minister) and Offhand, Offputting and Offtolunch (all applicable to shop assistants).

But this week's prize goes to Simon Coombe of Jersey who came up, inter alia, with Offpeak (mountain guides), Offshore (deep sea fishermen), Offline (laundries) and Offspring (bedding industry). Mr Combe will receive a bottle of nourishing Laurent Perrier fizz. And now eff off the lot of you.