Captain Moonlight: Tabloid highlights

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Indy Lifestyle Online
WORRIED about your command of current events? Laid up with a dicky fan belt on the hard shoulder of the information highway? Worry no more: here it is, Captain Moonlight's Catch-Up Service, my free and exclusive news digest of the week's more interesting news . . . Taxi driver Trevor Rowe discovered that a passenger had left an urn containing the ashes of a relative in his boot. 'It's the strangest article of lost property I've ever handed in,' said Trevor . . . Psychic Margaret Collier correctly predicted the score between England and Denmark after receiving, she said, a message from Sir Matt Busby. Margaret, of Westgate on Sea, chats with Sir Matt daily. 'He began speaking through me, using my voice. To be quite honest, his name didn't ring a bell at first,' she said . . . German soldiers have been ordered to shout 'bang-bang' on exercise to save money on bullets . . . Chefs in Bradford will try to smash the record for the world's longest kebab, currently 2,066ft 11in . . . Parrot-otti, an African grey parrot which sings 'Nessun Dorma', has been stolen from a pet shop in Paignton. If you see a loose parrot, try him with a burst and see if he responds . . . and, of course, Bilbo the neutered tomcat, mistaken for a lion in Winchmore Hill. 'He's not ferocious at all,' said his owner. 'He once brought a sponge cake through the cat flap, but that's been about it.' There were, though, eight sightings. The Captain says take care out there, N21.

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