charmed life

Most women don't see the likes of `Cosmopolitan' and `Marie Claire' as the bibles of modern living, they're more the Yellow Pages of female survival. But these promise-all articles say nothing new - they state the obvious. The thing is, you have to check anyway, just in case.

The "Qualitative Survey of Images in Women's Magazines" published on Monday revealed that if glossies are the mirror of the modern woman's soul, well - she doesn't have one. Apparently we are shower of selfish, shallow bitches because all we think about is fashion, sex and going to the gym.

Well, come on critics, if you're single what else is there to think about? Knitting, gardening and baking Christmas cakes? I think not. Anyway most women don't see the likes of Cosmopolitan and Marie Claire as the Bibles of modern living, they're more the Yellow Pages of female survival. Need a little black dress? Marie Claire features 120 party dresses for under pounds 100 - very handy. Health tips - how to combat that morning-after-the- night-before look. Then there's the curiosity factor. How can you resist a peek at "Girl to Woman - Sex moves that show you've arrived"; "Dress 10lb slimmer"; "Cheat your way to natural beauty" or "50 sex tips revealed! What he wants you to do!" These promise-all articles say nothing new - they state the obvious. The thing is, you have to check anyway, just in case. Let's face it, young women are not going to be moved by the "acceptable" glossies: "Quick Fixes for Tired Kitchens!"; "Topiary vs nettles - winners in the window box wars", or "Steam irons on test" just don't cry out from the shelves. OK, some magazines are like the Sunday Sport with glossy covers and perfume samples. Take "Would you recognise your lover's most intimate parts?" Now that is a gross article: hanging in a gallery, in heavy gold frames, are blown up black and white photographs of eight rather battle-weary willies, and the girlfriends have to identify them. In fact not only are the women unsure of whose is whose, so are the men. Quote of the article? "They look like a darkened room full of mushrooms," says Trudy, "but I wouldn't fancy that one fried in butter."

And while we are on the subject of men, why haven't they come under the cosh? If glossy girls are bimbos from hell then what about glossy guys? All they think about are cars, sport and beer (and sex). Recent conversations with men have generally been punctuated with certain key words and phrases: "fast"; "motorbike"; "convertible"; "rugby"; "rugby"; "make mine a pint" and "what's your phone number?" Loaded says of its cover girl: "Christina Estrada - sounds like a car, looks like a woman", but XL on the subject of leather car seats, really sums it up: "Leather suggests bondage, bikers (hubba hubba) and an easy-wipe surface to bonk on." So what is everyone complaining about? Loaded Man and Cosmo Woman are made for each other.

PROMOTED VIDEO
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Life and Style
ebooksA superb mix of recipes serving up the freshest of local produce in a delicious range of styles
Life and Style
ebooksFrom the lifespan of a slug to the distance to the Sun: answers to 500 questions from readers
Life and Style
food + drink
Arts and Entertainment
musicBand's first new record for 20 years has some tough acts to follow
News
Shoppers in Covent Garden, London, celebrate after they were the first to buy the iPhone 6, released yesterday
tech
News
Liam Payne has attacked the media for reporting his tweet of support to Willie Robertson and the subsequent backlash from fans
peopleBut One Direction star insists he is not homophobic
Life and Style
healthFor Pure-O OCD sufferers this is a reality they live in
Arts and Entertainment
A bit rich: Maggie Smith in Downton Abbey
tvSeries 5 opening episode attracts lowest ratings since drama began
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

ES Rentals

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs General

    Website Editor

    £15 - £17 Per Hour: Clearwater People Solutions Ltd: Our client is currently r...

    Primary Teachers needed for supply in Ipswich

    £21552 - £31588 per annum: Randstad Education Cambridge: We are looking to rec...

    Primary Supply teaching jobs in Stowmarket

    £21552 - £31588 per annum: Randstad Education Cambridge: Randstad Education ar...

    Year 1 Teacher

    Negotiable: Randstad Education Birmingham: The Job An inner city Birmingham sc...

    Day In a Page

    A roller-coaster tale from the 'voice of a generation'

    Not That Kind of Girl:

    A roller-coaster tale from 'voice of a generation' Lena Dunham
    London is not bedlam or a cradle of vice. In fact it, as much as anywhere, deserves independence

    London is not bedlam or a cradle of vice

    In fact it, as much as anywhere, deserves independence
    Vivienne Westwood 'didn’t want' relationship with Malcolm McLaren

    Vivienne Westwood 'didn’t want' relationship with McLaren

    Designer 'felt pressured' into going out with Sex Pistols manager
    Jourdan Dunn: Model mother

    Model mother

    Jordan Dunn became one of the best-paid models in the world
    Apple still coolest brand – despite U2 PR disaster

    Apple still the coolest brand

    Despite PR disaster of free U2 album
    Scottish referendum: The Yes vote was the love that dared speak its name, but it was not to be

    Despite the result, this is the end of the status quo

    Boyd Tonkin on the fall-out from the Scottish referendum
    Manolo Blahnik: The high priest of heels talks flats, Englishness, and why he loves Mary Beard

    Manolo Blahnik: Flats, Englishness, and Mary Beard

    The shoe designer who has been dubbed 'the patron saint of the stiletto'
    The Beatles biographer reveals exclusive original manuscripts of some of the best pop songs ever written

    Scrambled eggs and LSD

    Behind The Beatles' lyrics - thanks to Hunter Davis's original manuscript copies
    'Normcore' fashion: Blending in is the new standing out in latest catwalk non-trend

    'Normcore': Blending in is the new standing out

    Just when fashion was in grave danger of running out of trends, it only went and invented the non-trend. Rebecca Gonsalves investigates
    Dance’s new leading ladies fight back: How female vocalists are now writing their own hits

    New leading ladies of dance fight back

    How female vocalists are now writing their own hits
    Mystery of the Ground Zero wedding photo

    A shot in the dark

    Mystery of the wedding photo from Ground Zero
    His life, the universe and everything

    His life, the universe and everything

    New biography sheds light on comic genius of Douglas Adams
    Save us from small screen superheroes

    Save us from small screen superheroes

    Shows like Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D are little more than marketing tools
    Reach for the skies

    Reach for the skies

    From pools to football pitches, rooftop living is looking up
    These are the 12 best hotel spas in the UK

    12 best hotel spas in the UK

    Some hotels go all out on facilities; others stand out for the sheer quality of treatments