Cheap thrills and spills on the moral melodrama

In the days when there was a Radio 4 programme called Stop The Week, with Robert Robinson, people who didn't like the programme used to tell me the trouble with it was that as a discussion programme it never got anywhere. I agreed with this, but I alwaysfelt they were judging the programme on entirely the wrong basis.

"Ah, but Stop the Week is not a chat show at all," I would say. "It's a soap opera! It's a mini-Archers!" All those people - Bob Robinson, Ann Leslie, Laurie Taylor, Milton Shulman - form a little family and have developed their own slightly fictional characters within it. They have their spats, they have their foibles, they have family jokes (about Volvo drivers, for instance), and when things are getting a bit heated, maybe because precocious cousin Laurie has been annoyed by something that waspish Bob has said, then Uncle Milt Shulman "steps in" with one of his wise Jewish stories about Goldstein, and everyone calms down waiting for the punchline, or perhaps they all turn on Uncle Milt and say: "Not another of your damned stories ...!" It's a soap. People switch on to hear the characters, not the talk.

I had forgotten about this winning theory until I found myself listening to The Moral Maze the other day and realised suddenly that exactly the same is happening to that programme, and that the reason why people express such differing opinions about it is that they don't realise that it is becoming a soap opera.

Ostensibly The Moral Maze is a discussion chaired by Michael Buerk in which Edward Pearce, David Starkey, Janet Daley and Rabbi Hugo Gryn leap upon a modern Gordian knot and leave it more convoluted than they found it. But really it is a soap opera in which Pearce and Starkey have a go at each other, Janet Daley has a savage go at the witnesses, Michael Buerk has a gentle go at restraining them all and, just like Uncle Milt Shulman, the rabbi - probably Lionel Blue's elder brother - tells a story if there seems no other way of ending the programme. It's the melodrama of character that sells the programme, not the solving of modern problems.

I know this, because yesterday I was listening to the programme when they were discussing male and female gender roles, and, instead of agreeing or disagreeing as I went along, I was actually thinking: "Never mind the agenda, where's David Starkey? Why aren't David and Edward having a go at each other?"

And they do have a go at each other. In one recent discussion on homosexuality, David Starkey, who had freely admitted to being gay, was addressed mockingly by Edward as "David, dear".

Some other time, Starkey (the new Gilbert Harding?) was defending capital punishment, and Pearce mocked him for wanting cheap thrills. "I get all the cheap thrills I need from you, Edward," said Starkey.

Not yesterday. Yesterday, instead of Starkey, they brought in Roger Scruton, the man who not only brings intellectual rigour to a chat show, but has everyone looking at their watches within five minutes of the start, and not once did he and Edward come to blows, I think. What a waste of an episode.

The fact is that you can't really stop this sort of chat show developing into a soap, if it has enough regular characters, and you can't make it happen if there isn't a regular repertory.

It tended to happen to Loose Ends (especially when Robert Elms and Brian Sewell went off on engaging picnic trips together) and it happens a bit in I'm Sorry, I Haven't a Clue, where Humph pretends to despise the resident pianist and has even invented several fictitious characters. But you can't make it happen on Any Questions? and Start The Week and Question Time, because there is a completely new panel every time.

On such programmes as Start The Week and Any Questions? the only constant factor is the chairman. Now, there are one or two ways in which the chairman can compensate for his lack of a repertory company. He can bring in sidekicks, as the Americans tend todo, and as Melvyn Bragg does with those female journalists he imports one at a time from the Independent and Times. He can work up one of those depressingly jocular opening monologues in the manner of Clive James or Clive Anderson or Ned Sherrin even. Jonathan Dimbleby attempts it with his joky introduction of panel members on Any Questions?

But it's hard work for one man by himself. Far better to switch on The Moral Maze every week to enjoy their wrangles, to listen to the witnesses (many of whom seem to believe that they have actually been asked there to give their opinion instead of, in reality, to act as chopping blocks for the regular characters), and to wonder when Edward and David will actually come to blows.

News
Emma Watson has become the latest target of the 4Chan nude hacking scandal
peopleThreats follows actress' speech on feminism and equality at the UN
Life and Style
food + drink
Arts and Entertainment
British actor Idris Elba is also a DJ and rapper who played Ibiza last summer
film
Life and Style
tech
PROMOTED VIDEO
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Life and Style
ebooksA superb mix of recipes serving up the freshest of local produce in a delicious range of styles
Life and Style
ebooksFrom the lifespan of a slug to the distance to the Sun: answers to 500 questions from readers
Life and Style
tech
Life and Style
Alan Turing, who was convicted of gross indecency in 1952, was granted a royal pardon last year
life
Arts and Entertainment
Sheridan Smith as Cilla Black and Ed Stoppard as her manager Brian Epstein
tvCilla Episode 2 review: Grit under the glamour in part two of biopic series starring Sheridan Smith
News
i100
Life and Style
life
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

ES Rentals

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs General

    Primary Supply Teachers needed in Cambridge

    £21552 - £22552 per annum: Randstad Education Cambridge: Randstad Education ar...

    DT Teacher - Graphics

    £100 - £110 per day: Randstad Education Group: Part time Design and Technology...

    Graduate Pricing Analyst - 6 months / 1 year analytical experience

    £20000 - £25000 Per Annum: Clearwater People Solutions Ltd: Our client is curr...

    Head of Department - English

    Negotiable: Randstad Education Bristol: Head of Department for English. Wiltsh...

    Day In a Page

    Secret politics of the weekly shop

    The politics of the weekly shop

    New app reveals political leanings of food companies
    Beam me up, Scottie!

    Beam me up, Scottie!

    Celebrity Trekkies from Alex Salmond to Barack Obama
    Beware Wet Paint: The ICA's latest ambitious exhibition

    Beware Wet Paint

    The ICA's latest ambitious exhibition
    Pink Floyd have produced some of rock's greatest ever album covers

    Pink Floyd have produced some of rock's greatest ever album covers

    Can 'The Endless River' carry on the tradition?
    Sanctuary for the suicidal

    Sanctuary for the suicidal

    One mother's story of how London charity Maytree helped her son with his depression
    A roller-coaster tale from the 'voice of a generation'

    Not That Kind of Girl:

    A roller-coaster tale from 'voice of a generation' Lena Dunham
    London is not bedlam or a cradle of vice. In fact it, as much as anywhere, deserves independence

    London is not bedlam or a cradle of vice

    In fact it, as much as anywhere, deserves independence
    Vivienne Westwood 'didn’t want' relationship with Malcolm McLaren

    Vivienne Westwood 'didn’t want' relationship with McLaren

    Designer 'felt pressured' into going out with Sex Pistols manager
    Jourdan Dunn: Model mother

    Model mother

    Jordan Dunn became one of the best-paid models in the world
    Apple still coolest brand – despite U2 PR disaster

    Apple still the coolest brand

    Despite PR disaster of free U2 album
    Scottish referendum: The Yes vote was the love that dared speak its name, but it was not to be

    Despite the result, this is the end of the status quo

    Boyd Tonkin on the fall-out from the Scottish referendum
    Manolo Blahnik: The high priest of heels talks flats, Englishness, and why he loves Mary Beard

    Manolo Blahnik: Flats, Englishness, and Mary Beard

    The shoe designer who has been dubbed 'the patron saint of the stiletto'
    The Beatles biographer reveals exclusive original manuscripts of some of the best pop songs ever written

    Scrambled eggs and LSD

    Behind The Beatles' lyrics - thanks to Hunter Davis's original manuscript copies
    'Normcore' fashion: Blending in is the new standing out in latest catwalk non-trend

    'Normcore': Blending in is the new standing out

    Just when fashion was in grave danger of running out of trends, it only went and invented the non-trend. Rebecca Gonsalves investigates
    Dance’s new leading ladies fight back: How female vocalists are now writing their own hits

    New leading ladies of dance fight back

    How female vocalists are now writing their own hits