Creativity / Weaving skills for homeless spiders
Wednesday 15 May 1996
"Spin doctors?" asks Liz Fowler. "Turn them in their graves." Ciarn Ryan says: "If one hand is used as a speaker and the other holds a needle, a spin doctor at 45 rpm could play patients' records." He also believes they may have been responsible for many medical revolutions. John Donnelly says they are very useful at finding imaginary solutions for hypochondriacs' ailments.
C Harrison provides a historical footnote, dating the practice back to the "spinning doctors" or Luddites of the early 1700s who practised on patients such as the famous Spinning Jenny. "It is warming to see that they have not forgotten their industrial heritage," he says, "and remain associated with spinning coarse yarns." Liz Golding, however, dates them back many centuries to remote parts of Asia where they treated whirling dervishes. Today's spin doctors, she maintains, while treating arachnophobes, keep up to date with the latest developments on the World Wide Web.
Luela Palmer accuses them of sticking "78 rpm" labels over LPs to enhance their collectability. The term also has a secondary meaning, she claims, for doctors who assess surgical priorities by tossing a coin. "To test the state of English cricket before the patient dies," says Elaine Bisco. "To mend the hum in spinning tops or to twirl puffs of candyfloss," says Alison Blackburn. Hazel Laitner says they can teach weaving skills to homeless spiders.
"Spin doctors are boring fellows," says AJ Brewer. "A spin doctor who spins on the spot will rapidly produce a bore-hole." Geoffrey Langley points out that spin doctors who qualify as surgeons become spin misters. C Douglas confirms their value in NHS hospitals for turning slow consultants' rounds into speedy spin-doc tours. He also points out that maypole dancers may be cured of that spinning feeling by prescribing the smaller tad-poles.
Prizes to Gary Marshall, Luela Palmer and Alison Blackburn. Next week, useful things to do with tonsils. Meanwhile, following the acute joy we felt in typing the name Ciarn earlier, and the grave failure the French had trying to abolish the circumflex a few years ago, we seek things to do with accents. Ideas to: Creativity, the Independent, 1 Canada Square, Canary Wharf, London E14 5DL. Chambers Combined Dictionary-Thesaurus prizes for the best.
Life & Style blogs
Planes go hybrid-electric in important step to greener flight
GTA 5: Christmas arrives in Los Santos as update brings snowball fights, festive jumpers and a homing missile launcher
'Tis the season!: Google celebrates Christmas Eve with second animated Doodle
Christmas 2014: Jesus was not born in a stable, says theologian
Pornhub: Kim Kardashian's sex tape is the most-watched porn video of all-time
Nigel Farage defends Kerry Smith 'ch***y' comment: 'If you are going for a Chinese, what do you say you’re going for?'
Rozanne Duncan: Ukip expels councillor for 'jaw-dropping' comments made in BBC TV interview
Germany anti-Islam protests: 17,000 march on Dresden against 'Islamification of the West'
British actor Idris Elba cannot star as James Bond because he is black, says shock jock Rush Limbaugh
Panic Saturday: 13 million Britons spend £1.2bn – while 13 million others across the country live in poverty unable to afford food
BBC director Danny Cohen: Rising UK antisemitism makes me feel more uncomfortable than ever
- 1 Planes go hybrid-electric in important step to greener flight
- 2 North Korean prison officers 'cooked prisoner's baby and fed it to their dogs', more horrific accounts from UN report reveal
- 3 Antonio Martin shooting: Mayor says there should be 'no comparison' to Ferguson
- 4 Antonio Martin shooting: Police and protesters clash over teenager's death just five miles from Ferguson, Missouri
- 5 British actor Idris Elba cannot star as James Bond because he is black, says shock jock Rush Limbaugh
£20000 - £35000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This full service social media ...
£24000 - £35000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: We are 'Changemakers in retail'...
Very Competitive: Austen Lloyd: Senior Conveyancer - South West We are see...
Excellent Salary: Austen Lloyd: DORSET MARKET TOWN - SENIOR PROPERTY SOLICITOR...