Creativity - Life and Style - The Independent


Our request for things to do with a Panama hat, a tin of sardines and a packet of Polos has been met with some suspicion by AJ Brewer. "At first sight," he writes, "the Panama hat seems to be the odd one out. The sardines are wholesome, the Polos are holey - could it be that the Panama hat is in mint condition and therefore qualified to join the others to form this trinity?" On deeper reflection, however, he has decided that the polos are in fact Magic Circles to be used to pull rabbits out of the hat. The rabbits could then be bred, which, with the addition of an "a" from Panama (which has more than its fair share of them) would make bread to eat with the sardines.

RJ Pickles says: "Hang the Polos like corks from brim of the Panama hat to disguise smell as you open the sardines." Len Clarke says: "It's a well-known fact that in Kakadu National Park (turn left at Ayers Rock) polos strung from the brim of a Panama hat are the very latest in Oz headgear. What other reason could there be for the holes?"

RC Waters points out that Polo and sardines are both games, but he has mislaid his copy of the Panama Hat rules. "Lie back and think of Panama," says Sian Cole.

Marilyn Johnson rhymes: I would have thought Ms Sian Cole Inspired this little list. A squeeze based on a sardine tin Is never to be missed (and verses two and three allude to the holes in the mints, a packet of three, and thoughts about canals).

Norman Foster says: "One could use the sardine tin fitted with the Polos as wheels, the Panama hat as a sail, and the olive oil from the tin as a lubricant, to make a sand yacht, with the sardines as sustenance throughout the journey."

Mike Gifford wants to adopt them as international signs for Sardinia, Panama and Poland. He also thoughtfully provides us with the rules for playing Pansardonic Polo: "The first player has to open a tin of sardines with a key which is liable to break or jam during the operation. The enclosed fish have to be taken out separately without breaking them, then lobbed skilfully into a Panama hat whose position is determined by the opponent rolling a packet of Polos as far away as possible."

Nigel Plevin says: "A mint condition Panama hat bedecked with dead sardines could become the internationally recognised logo for: 'effluent Panamanian spoken here'."

Ann Phillips wants to take them all mackerel-fishing, using the sardines as bait, the hat as head-protector, emergency sanitation and reel, and the polos as life-savers or tit-bits for sea-horses. Stephen Kirin has a simple solution: Sardinia versus Panama in a game of Polo.

"Fill the hat with water," Bruce Birchall advises, "and get the sardines to play water polo with the mints." He prefers, however, repackaging the mints in packs of five and selling them to gullible tourists as souvenirs of the Olympics.

"Remove the sardines from the tin," Peter Thomas suggests, "slip a Polo over each one as a tutu, put on the ground and make them dance to the hat band; then check the hat for change."

"It is harder to look good in a Panama hat than to put a tin of sardines through the hole in a Polo," Robbie Jones reminds us.

Nicholas E Gough writes: "The owl and the pussy-cat went to sea, in a beautiful pea green boat. They took some polos and plenty of sardines, wrapped up in a Panama hat."

John and Renee Dolan suggest: "Put the Polo mints on top of the sardine tin to let the sardines out through the hole. They can then put on the Panama hat as a disguise and go for a night on the town."

Chambers Dictionary prizes to: Robbie Jones, Nicholas E Gough and Norman Foster. Next week, ethical things to do with landmines. Meanwhile we seek ideas for things to do with an ex-Spice girl. Ideas should be sent to: Creativity, The Independent, 1 Canada Square, Canary Wharf, London E14 5DL.

Suggested Topics
John Travolta is a qualified airline captain and employed the pilot with his company, Alto
people'That was the lowest I’d ever felt'
Life and Style
healthIt isn’t greasy. It doesn’t smell. And moreover, it costs nothing
peopleThe report and photo dedicated to the actress’s decolletage has, unsurprisingly, provoked anger
Home body: Badger stays safe indoors
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Life and Style
ebooksA superb mix of recipes serving up the freshest of local produce in a delicious range of styles
Life and Style
ebooksFrom the lifespan of a slug to the distance to the Sun: answers to 500 questions from readers
The programme sees four specialists creating what they believe are three perfect couples, based on scientific matchmaking. The couples will not meet until they walk down the aisle together
tvUK wedding show jilted
Arts and Entertainment
US pop diva Jennifer Lopez sang “Happy Birthday” to Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow, president of Turkmenistan
musicCorporate gigs become key source of musicians' income
Arts and Entertainment
You've been framed: Henri Matisse's colourful cut-outs at Tate Modern
artWhat makes a smash-hit art show
Arts and Entertainment
While many films were released, few managed to match the success of James Bond blockbuster 'Skyfall'
filmsDaniel Craig believed to be donning skis as 007 for first time
Mikel Arteta pictured during Borussia Dortmund vs Arsenal
champions league
Yes supporters gather outside the Usher Hall, which is hosting a Night for Scotland in Edinburgh
voicesBen Judah: Is there a third option for England and Scotland that keeps everyone happy?
Arts and Entertainment
Pulp-fiction lover: Jarvis Cocker
booksJarvis Cocker on Richard Brautigan
Arts and Entertainment
Robin Thicke and Pharell Williams in the video of the song, which has been accused of justifying rape
music...and he had 'almost no part' in writing it
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

ES Rentals

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs General

    Senior QA Engineer - Agile, SCRUM

    £35000 - £50000 per annum + benefits: Ashdown Group: Senior QA Engineer (Agil...

    Marketing Executive - West Midlands - £28,000

    £26000 - £28000 per annum: Ashdown Group: Digital Marketing Executive (SEO, PP...

    Retail Business Analyst

    £40000 - £50000 Per Annum: Clearwater People Solutions Ltd: Our retail client ...

    Senior C++ Developer

    £400 - £450 Per Annum possibly more for the right candidate: Clearwater People...

    Day In a Page

    Mystery of the Ground Zero wedding photo

    A shot in the dark

    Mystery of the wedding photo from Ground Zero
    His life, the universe and everything

    His life, the universe and everything

    New biography sheds light on comic genius of Douglas Adams
    Save us from small screen superheroes

    Save us from small screen superheroes

    Shows like Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D are little more than marketing tools
    Reach for the skies

    Reach for the skies

    From pools to football pitches, rooftop living is looking up
    These are the 12 best hotel spas in the UK

    12 best hotel spas in the UK

    Some hotels go all out on facilities; others stand out for the sheer quality of treatments
    These Iranian-controlled Shia militias used to specialise in killing American soldiers. Now they are fighting Isis, backed up by US airstrikes

    Widespread fear of Isis is producing strange bedfellows

    Iranian-controlled Shia militias that used to kill American soldiers are now fighting Isis, helped by US airstrikes
    Topshop goes part Athena poster, part last spring Prada

    Topshop goes part Athena poster, part last spring Prada

    Shoppers don't come to Topshop for the unique
    How to make a Lego masterpiece

    How to make a Lego masterpiece

    Toy breaks out of the nursery and heads for the gallery
    Meet the ‘Endies’ – city dwellers who are too poor to have fun

    Meet the ‘Endies’ – city dwellers who are too poor to have fun

    Urbanites are cursed with an acronym pointing to Employed but No Disposable Income or Savings
    Paisley’s decision to make peace with IRA enemies might remind the Arabs of Sadat

    Ian Paisley’s decision to make peace with his IRA enemies

    His Save Ulster from Sodomy campaign would surely have been supported by many a Sunni imam
    'She was a singer, a superstar, an addict, but to me, her mother, she is simply Amy'

    'She was a singer, a superstar, an addict, but to me, her mother, she is simply Amy'

    Exclusive extract from Janis Winehouse's poignant new memoir
    Is this the role to win Cumberbatch an Oscar?

    Is this the role to win Cumberbatch an Oscar?

    The Imitation Game, film review
    England and Roy Hodgson take a joint step towards redemption in Basel

    England and Hodgson take a joint step towards redemption

    Welbeck double puts England on the road to Euro 2016
    Relatives fight over Vivian Maier’s rare photos

    Relatives fight over Vivian Maier’s rare photos

    Pictures removed from public view as courts decide ownership
    ‘Fashion has to be fun. It’s a big business, not a cure for cancer’

    ‘Fashion has to be fun. It’s a big business, not a cure for cancer’

    Donatella Versace at New York Fashion Week