Creativity

Our request for things to do with a Panama hat, a tin of sardines and a packet of Polos has been met with some suspicion by AJ Brewer. "At first sight," he writes, "the Panama hat seems to be the odd one out. The sardines are wholesome, the Polos are holey - could it be that the Panama hat is in mint condition and therefore qualified to join the others to form this trinity?" On deeper reflection, however, he has decided that the polos are in fact Magic Circles to be used to pull rabbits out of the hat. The rabbits could then be bred, which, with the addition of an "a" from Panama (which has more than its fair share of them) would make bread to eat with the sardines.

RJ Pickles says: "Hang the Polos like corks from brim of the Panama hat to disguise smell as you open the sardines." Len Clarke says: "It's a well-known fact that in Kakadu National Park (turn left at Ayers Rock) polos strung from the brim of a Panama hat are the very latest in Oz headgear. What other reason could there be for the holes?"

RC Waters points out that Polo and sardines are both games, but he has mislaid his copy of the Panama Hat rules. "Lie back and think of Panama," says Sian Cole.

Marilyn Johnson rhymes: I would have thought Ms Sian Cole Inspired this little list. A squeeze based on a sardine tin Is never to be missed (and verses two and three allude to the holes in the mints, a packet of three, and thoughts about canals).

Norman Foster says: "One could use the sardine tin fitted with the Polos as wheels, the Panama hat as a sail, and the olive oil from the tin as a lubricant, to make a sand yacht, with the sardines as sustenance throughout the journey."

Mike Gifford wants to adopt them as international signs for Sardinia, Panama and Poland. He also thoughtfully provides us with the rules for playing Pansardonic Polo: "The first player has to open a tin of sardines with a key which is liable to break or jam during the operation. The enclosed fish have to be taken out separately without breaking them, then lobbed skilfully into a Panama hat whose position is determined by the opponent rolling a packet of Polos as far away as possible."

Nigel Plevin says: "A mint condition Panama hat bedecked with dead sardines could become the internationally recognised logo for: 'effluent Panamanian spoken here'."

Ann Phillips wants to take them all mackerel-fishing, using the sardines as bait, the hat as head-protector, emergency sanitation and reel, and the polos as life-savers or tit-bits for sea-horses. Stephen Kirin has a simple solution: Sardinia versus Panama in a game of Polo.

"Fill the hat with water," Bruce Birchall advises, "and get the sardines to play water polo with the mints." He prefers, however, repackaging the mints in packs of five and selling them to gullible tourists as souvenirs of the Olympics.

"Remove the sardines from the tin," Peter Thomas suggests, "slip a Polo over each one as a tutu, put on the ground and make them dance to the hat band; then check the hat for change."

"It is harder to look good in a Panama hat than to put a tin of sardines through the hole in a Polo," Robbie Jones reminds us.

Nicholas E Gough writes: "The owl and the pussy-cat went to sea, in a beautiful pea green boat. They took some polos and plenty of sardines, wrapped up in a Panama hat."

John and Renee Dolan suggest: "Put the Polo mints on top of the sardine tin to let the sardines out through the hole. They can then put on the Panama hat as a disguise and go for a night on the town."

Chambers Dictionary prizes to: Robbie Jones, Nicholas E Gough and Norman Foster. Next week, ethical things to do with landmines. Meanwhile we seek ideas for things to do with an ex-Spice girl. Ideas should be sent to: Creativity, The Independent, 1 Canada Square, Canary Wharf, London E14 5DL.

Suggested Topics
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Life and Style
ebookNow available in paperback
ebooks
ebookA delicious collection of 50 meaty main courses
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

ES Rentals

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs General

    Recruitment Genius: Customer Service Supervisor

    £15000 - £20000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This company is a well establis...

    Recruitment Genius: IT Technical Support Engineer / Helpdesk Engineer

    £16500 - £22500 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Due to continued growth an exce...

    Recruitment Genius: SEO Executive

    £23000 - £27000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A full-service agency based in ...

    Recruitment Genius: Sales Executive - OTE £21,000

    £16000 - £21000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Due to company expansion a fant...

    Day In a Page

    Greece debt crisis: EU 'family' needs to forgive rather than punish an impoverished state

    EU 'family' needs to forgive rather than punish an impoverished state

    An outbreak of malaria in Greece four years ago helps us understand the crisis, says Robert Fisk
    Gaza, a year on from Operation Protective Edge: The traumatised kibbutz on Israel's front line, still recovering from last summer's war with Hamas

    Gaza, a year on from Operation Protective Edge

    The traumatised kibbutz on Israel's front line, still recovering from last summer's war with Hamas
    How to survive electrical storms: What are the chances of being hit by lightning?

    Heavy weather

    What are the chances of being hit by lightning?
    World Bodypainting Festival 2015: Bizarre and brilliant photos celebrate 'the body as art'

    World Bodypainting Festival 2015

    Bizarre and brilliant photos celebrate 'the body as art'
    alt-j: A private jet, a Mercury Prize and Latitude headliners

    Don't call us nerds

    Craig Mclean meets alt-j - the math-folk act who are flying high
    How to find gold: The Californian badlands, digging out crevasses and sifting sludge

    How to find gold

    Steve Boggan finds himself in the Californian badlands, digging out crevasses and sifting sludge
    Singing accents: From Herman's Hermits and David Bowie to Alesha Dixon

    Not born in the USA

    Lay off Alesha Dixon: songs sound better in US accents, even our national anthem
    10 best balsamic vinegars

    10 best balsamic vinegars

    Drizzle it over salad, enjoy it with ciabatta, marinate vegetables, or use it to add depth to a sauce - this versatile staple is a cook's best friend
    Wimbledon 2015: Brief glimpses of the old Venus but Williams sisters' epic wars belong to history

    Brief glimpses of the old Venus but Williams sisters' epic wars belong to history

    Serena dispatched her elder sister 6-4, 6-3 in eight minutes more than an hour
    Greece says 'No': A night of huge celebrations in Athens as voters decisively back Tsipras and his anti-austerity stance in historic referendum

    Greece referendum

    Greeks say 'No' to austerity and plunge Europe into crisis
    Ten years after the 7/7 terror attacks, is Britain an altered state?

    7/7 bombings anniversary

    Ten years after the terror attacks, is Britain an altered state?
    Beautiful evening dresses are some of the loveliest Donatella has created

    Versace haute couture review

    Beautiful evening dresses are some of the loveliest Donatella has ever created
    No hope and no jobs, so Gaza's young risk their lives, climb the fence and run for it

    No hope and no jobs in Gaza

    So the young risk their lives and run for it
    Fashion apps: Retailers roll together shopping and social networking for mobile customers

    Fashion apps

    Retailers roll together shopping and social networking for mobile customers
    The Greek referendum exposes a gaping hole at the heart of the European Union – its distinct lack of any genuine popular legitimacy

    Gaping hole at the heart of the European Union

    Treatment of Greece has shown up a lack of genuine legitimacy