Creativity

Click to follow
Indy Lifestyle Online
Pedicurists, chiropodists and other corn-cutters featured prominently in readers' suggestions for things to do with cut corners, but first we have an idea that arrived too late for inclusion among our things-to-do- with-puns piece last week. "Punish punnish newspaper headline writers," Roy Barker insists, "by sending them to a no-pun prison."

Back on the cut corners, several readers pointed out that what they need is corn plasters. Several more suggested accumulating lots of them and cornering the market. Sian Cole sent us a photograph of herself playing tennis without any knickers on. We're not certain of the relevance of this to cutting corners, but we were sure you would all like to know.

"In craftwork," Geoffrey Langley informs us, "cutting a corner creates a mitre, which is a useful tip for impecunious bishops." In principle, however, he is against corner-cutting, because it could leave us with such words as AA Milne's The House at Pooh and Manuel de Falla's Two-Cornered Hat. The latter, however, does raise the philosophical question of whether, after cutting a corner from a three-cornered hat, one is left with a two- cornered hat or a four-cornered hat.

Roy Askew suggests dropping a few thousand cut corners from an aeroplane over Covent Garden and cornering the market.

Renee Gallagher and Jack Dolan point out that a corner cut from a large sachet makes a nice rain hat - or one from an even larger sachet could be a wigwam. Alison McAllister has a cunning plan that uses six cut corners, strategically hinged, to provide a lightweight flat-pack mounting-block to help mount horses from ground level. They can also be used, she says, as back rests on the hypotenuse of deck-chairs. Norman Foster uses them to build corner cupboards. Hilda Hyde points out helpfully that if you haven't time to cut corners, you can always get out your penknife and cut up a side street.

Martin Brown believes that since most corners are cut to save time, they make the perfect fuel for time machines. We are sure he is right, because he says that he didn't even post his letter until next month. David Hare says that the demise of so many corner shops has made the disposal of cut corners rather a problem. June Smedley suggests that corner shops could sell cut corners at cut prices. Steve Tilley says that cut corners should be used to help criminals go straight. "Cut corners could be stuck on circles to stop them rolling away," says Paul Mitchell. "Give them to people who are about to go round the bend," advises DM Wright.

Judith Holmes keeps hers in a cupboard "with the packet sauces, instant meals, irregularly weeded flower beds and other labour-saving stratagems". "Resurrect Lyons Corner Houses," says Doug Whetherly, "to sell square meals." Maguy Higgs suggests that cut corners mounted on cocktail sticks could serve as hazard warnings to indicate the depth of puddles potentially dangerous to wading caterpillars. Duncan Bull points out that it is only through the addition of cut corners that boxing rings have been made square. Prizes to Roy Barker, Geoffrey Langley and Martin Brown.

Creativity is now taking a two-week break. We shall be back in mid-August with spaghetti. Meanwhile, we have noticed that the world snail-racing championships were held last weekend. Do you have have any better ideas for things to do with snails? Ideas will be welcome at: Creativity, The Independent, 1 Canada Square, Canary Wharf, London E14 5DL. Chambers Dictionary prizes will be awarded to those we like best.

Comments