Creativity

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Indy Lifestyle Online
As the returning officer for the Independent Creativity constituency, I hereby announce the results of the votes cast for things to do with slightly used ballot boxes:

Training for postmen, say many of you; advanced training for gynaecologists, says Peter Pool. Nice sturdy paper hankie dispensers, says Sheila Corbishley. Spittoons for the thin-lipped, says Mike Peart. Ryvita dispenser, says Mike Carton.

Eric Brown says they are already in use between elections, "to store political promises which will not be required until the next election". Jack Dolan believes they would make lovely places for ex-MPs to hibernate in until the next election. "To help them sleep soundly, the boxes could be lined with ballot papers." Mr Dolan also points out that the Australian outlaw Ned Kelly used one as a helmet and peered out through the slit.

"Fill them with porridge," Geoffrey Langley advises, "and use them to reconstruct Hadrian's Wall after a referendum on Scottish devolution." Alternatively, he recommends lining them up along the International Date Line and using them as receptacles for International Date Stones.

Brian Penson thinks they could be worn inside the trousers of cricketing politicians to safeguard their marginals against late swings.

Store them for the next election, says Bert Overton, "when they can be taken into a count". Michael Hyde wants them manacled to the legs of MPs "as a constant reminder of why they were elected". Angela Beatty wants to strap them together to make a raft for floating voters.

Outside loo, say several of you. Dog poo loo for pooper scoopers, say Val Haynes and Caroline Prichard. "Give them to the RAF," advises Keith Scott, "for humanitarian low-level pizza delivery missions to distressed couch potatoes."

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