"I'm all for convenience food," writes Mary Greenall, "but the pastry in those Filofaxes is disappointing." She finds the thin white filo sheets tasty enough when baked with a savoury filling, "but the brown wholemeal ones with gimmicky lettering - 'telephone', 'addresses' and so on - are almost inedible." She also objects to the expensive leather packaging and has converted hers into a ring binder for an engagement book.
Mollie Caird points out that the correct name for the baked white sheets with savoury filling is "filosnax". Jean Blaylock says: "Filofaxes are for sending urgent flaky pastry." Nicholas E Gough sent us a complete recipe, piped in chocolate on to pastry, but it melted in the Filo-fax machine.
Away from pastry, but still on a gastronomic theme, Alex Harley uses her Filofax as a portable sandwich-maker. According to Jack Dolan, the binder rings are ideal for holding sausages over a barbecue. "They make authentic-looking grill marks, while the leather cover stops you from burning your hands." He also recommends suspending the Filofax by its rings from a piece of elastic in order to attract bats "who think the flapping covers are the wings of a big, rich relative."
Susan Tomes suggests using Filofaxes to plug the holes in the Internet. AJ Brewer dates the demise of the Eighties to the day the Yuppies discovered they were unable to drive a Porsche, use a mobile phone and wield a Filofax simultaneously.
Mike Peart and RJ Pickles independently had the same idea of filling a Filofax with false information, wrong appointments, duff addresses and phone numbers etc. The former wants to call it a Filolies, while the latter just wants to do it in case the Filofax is lost or stolen. He wants to call it a Filofox. And I'm not going to tell you what the exquisitely beautiful Sian Cole files in hers. Mike Peart, however, also points out that a goodly supply of Filofaxes, laid as bricks and joined together with double-sided sticky tape, can be used to build up a small business. Duncan Bull thinks that political parties should publish their manifestos in Filofax form to facilitate the practice of stealing each other's ideas. John Donnelly thought Filofax was a French cartoon character from ancient Gaul.
Geoff Morley has a salutary tale to tell on how to stop a boring business meeting in its tracks. Apparently you replace the pages in your Filofax with a slice of toast, then, "at a suitably inappropriate moment in the meeting, preferably when the CEO is speaking" you open the Filofax with great solemnity and start eating. Mr Morley tells us he is now seeking an employer with a sense of humour.
Penny Birch has a wealth of good ideas: genetically engineer the leather covers to make diary cows; plant them and grow date trees, pile them high to create a public address system; use as emergency loo paper for diar- y-ah.
Prizes to Penny Birch, Mary Greenall and Jack Dolan. Next week, the sky. Meanwhile, we seek things to do with opinion polls. Send your ideas to: Creativity, The Independent, 1 Canada Square, Canary Wharf, London E14 5DL. Chambers Dictionary prizes will be awarded to those we like best.Reuse content