Make your own rules
Thursday 02 June 2011
When it comes to dating there tends to be an invisible rule book which most of us follow religiously. Millions of rules, most of which are nothing but mind games, that we feel we must abide by should we find ourselves on the dating scene. With so many rules and so much not-so-helpful advice for example, ‘don’t kiss on a first date’, ‘don’t commit to a weekend date after Wednesday’, ‘don’t order spaghetti if you’re going for dinner’ and so on, we can sometimes feel somewhat confused about dating.
The truth is, dating isn’t about games and rules and while other people’s advice is great, it’s not always that helpful. You see, dating is all about making the right decisions for you. So here at Independent Dating we’ve put paid to a few of the absurd dating rules that we’ve come across along the way, to make sure you spend your time impressing rather than stressing.
Don’t kiss on a first date
First dates throw up a minefield of do’s and don’ts that, quite frankly, could send even the most confident person into a confused frenzy. Kissing isn’t an exception. Apparently kissing on a first date shows you’re too keen? But surely the fact that you’re already on a date with the person shows that you like them? Nothing is more exciting and nerve-wracking than a first date kiss. So if the chemistry is there and the moment feels right forget this archaic rule and go for it!
Don’t text after a first date
So after remembering all of the rules on the actual date, you’ve now got a whole new list of rules to follow post-date. According to this rule, send a text immediately after the date and the content is almost irrelevant - the timing says it all. Even the most breezy of messages will carry with it undertones of ‘I’m keen’. But what if you genuinely had a nice time or you want to make sure your date got home safe? We say, if you had a nice time and you want to tell them, tell them!
Do not accept a Saturday night date after a Wednesday
The key here is to pretend that you already have plans, even if those plans involve alphabetically arranging your DVD collection. So there you are Saturday night, dateless, and facing a night in with your dusty DVD collection, while thoughts of all the fun you could be having hi-jack your mind. Our point? Ditch this outrageous rule and if you’re free, say you’re free - whatever day of the week it is!
Play hard to get
There’s nothing wrong with maintaining an air of mystery however, acting as though you’re not interested sort of defeats the object doesn’t it? Playing hard to get can go one of two ways. Either the thrill of the chase will work wonders and you’ll secure yourself a date or the other person will get bored a lose interest. Best to play it safe, ditch this rule altogether and own up to how you really feel.
Picking up the bill
Of all the dating rules, surely the most fraught is working out who pays for what. Should the person who initiated the date pay, it was their idea? Surely the guy should be a gentleman and pay? Or how about splitting it evenly down the middle fair and square, even though your date had a three course meal and you only had the one? I think in this case each date is different so it’s best to play it by ear as opposed to stubbornly sticking to a ‘rule’. If you’re not paying be considerate of what you order, or maybe say ‘it’s my treat’ from the off-set so you both know where you stand. Whatever you do make sure it works for the two of you and you’re not just going along with it because once upon a time, someone, somewhere said that’s the way it works!
When it comes to dating, we’re not huge fans of following the ‘rules’. If the chemistry is there things should flow pretty smoothly by just being yourself, talking about what interests you and listening to what the other person has to say. The only rule you should follow is to ‘follow your own rules’. At least that way you’ll be able to order the spaghetti if you fancy it!
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