Dear Selina Scott

Sweetie darling, whatever have you done to incur the wrath of The Donald? Could it perhaps be that the megalomillionaire has fallen head over heels?

So, you're obnoxious, boring and unattractive. It's not me who says so, it's Donald Trump, and he doesn't stop there. He says you have "little talent", ask "foolish" questions, are "uptight and insecure" and are - wait for it - "very sleazy".

When you recovered from the shock of this tirade, I hope you managed at least a small smile. To be labelled unattractive and sleazy by Trump ... not until you get calls from Olly Reed and Jeffrey Bernard saying you drink too much and Sharon from EastEnders accusing you of being a brassy little bottle blonde will you receive another insult to savour like this.

It was your interview with Trump on ITV last month that caused the trouble. He says that it was "edited in such a manner as to be outright false ... the piece was mean-spirited, snide and in many respects, totally inaccurate". According to him, you fluffed up because one of your cameras wasn't working and begged him to redo the interview, which he found very inconvenient but agreed to because he felt sorry for you, "in that you are obviously a woman who has seen better days".

What on earth is going on here? What can you have done to provoke this furious stream of personal insults? My memory may be failing me, but as I recall it, your interview with Trump might have been sponsored by Hello! magazine, such was the level of ingratiation you stooped to. Your every giggle, blush and flirtatious come-on was faithfully recorded, and it's a toss-up as to whether you or he hogged the most minutes on screen. After a quarter of an hour of your toadying, I had to reach for a Remegel to keep my dinner down.

Now I am supposed to believe that your "mischievous" (your word) portrait of Trump reduced a man who has been savagely lampooned by Americans for a decade to such a state that he sat down to compose a 500-word letter to you, and then leaked its vitriol to the world's media a day before posting it? Come, come. There's something else going on here, and I think we both know what it is.

Selina, the man's obsessed with you, patently smitten, and this is simply the first step in an elaborate courtship ritual. No one who wasn't hooked could possibly find so much to say about you. And given his wealth and influence, his is a game you'd be well advised to play. Your interview with Trump was, it seems, fixed up by ex-King Constantine of Greece (and Donald's mad with him, too, he says). But if you thought King Con and your other royal pals were useful contacts, wait till you see what the Trump empire can do for you.

The truth is, you belong with people like Donald now. You've signed as a chatshow host with NBC Super Channel - the days of News at Ten and Scott Free are long gone. You're out of our league now; you're a star. The only sensible advice I can give you is to go with Donald wherever he wants to take you.

God speed and good luck. I'd like to say I'll miss you, but I'm afraid I don't think I'd mean it.

BROOK MCNAIR

News
newsGlobal index has ranked the quality of life for OAPs - but the UK didn't even make it into the top 10
News
people
News
people
News
peopleStella McCartney apologises over controversial Instagram picture
PROMOTED VIDEO
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Life and Style
ebooksA superb mix of recipes serving up the freshest of local produce in a delicious range of styles
Life and Style
ebooksFrom the lifespan of a slug to the distance to the Sun: answers to 500 questions from readers
Life and Style
Laid bare: the Good2Go app ensures people have a chance to make their intentions clear about having sex
techCould Good2Go end disputes about sexual consent - without being a passion-killer?
Arts and Entertainment
Richard Burr remains the baker to beat on the Great British Bake Off
tvRichard remains the baker to beat as Chetna begins to flake
News
i100
Sport
footballArsenal 4 Galatasaray 1: Wenger celebrates 18th anniversary in style
Arts and Entertainment
Amazon has added a cautionary warning to Tom and Jerry cartoons on its streaming service
tv
News
people
News
The village was originally named Llansanffraid-ym-Mechain after the Celtic female Saint Brigit, but the name was changed 150 years ago to Llansantffraid – a decision which suggests the incorrect gender of the saint
newsA Welsh town has changed its name - and a prize if you can notice how
Arts and Entertainment
Kristen Scott Thomas in Electra at the Old Vic
theatreReview: Kristin Scott Thomas is magnificent in a five-star performance of ‘Electra’
News
Destructive discourse: Jewish boys look at anti-Semitic graffiti sprayed on to the walls of the synagogue in March 2006, near Tel Aviv
peopleAt the start of Yom Kippur and with anti-Semitism flourishing, one Jew can no longer ignore his identity
Life and Style
Couples who boast about their relationship have been condemned as the most annoying Facebook users
tech
Arts and Entertainment
Hayley Williams performs with Paramore in New York
musicParamore singer says 'Steal Your Girl' is itself stolen from a New Found Glory hit
News
i100
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

ES Rentals

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs General

    Geography Teacher, Dover School, full time role

    Competitive Salary: Randstad Education Group: Randstad Education is urgently s...

    Trainee Recruitment Consultant

    £18000 - £30000 per annum + uncapped: SThree: Do you feel your sales role is l...

    Trainee Recruitment Consultant

    £20000 - £45000 per annum + uncapped: SThree: Key featuresA highly motivated ...

    Trainee Recruitment Consultant

    £18000 - £23000 per annum + OTE: SThree: SThree are seeking Trainee Recruitmen...

    Day In a Page

    Italian couples fake UK divorce scam on an ‘industrial scale’

    Welcome to Maidenhead, the divorce capital of... Italy

    A look at the the legal tourists who exploited our liberal dissolution rules
    Tom and Jerry cartoons now carry a 'racial prejudice' warning on Amazon

    Tom and Jerry cartoons now carry a 'racial prejudice' warning on Amazon

    The vintage series has often been criticised for racial stereotyping
    An app for the amorous: Could Good2Go end disputes about sexual consent - without being a passion-killer?

    An app for the amorous

    Could Good2Go end disputes about sexual consent - without being a passion-killer?
    Llansanffraid is now Llansantffraid. Welsh town changes its name, but can you spot the difference?

    Llansanffraid is now Llansantffraid

    Welsh town changes its name, but can you spot the difference?
    Charlotte Riley: At the peak of her powers

    Charlotte Riley: At the peak of her powers

    After a few early missteps with Chekhov, her acting career has taken her to Hollywood. Next up is a role in the BBC’s gangster drama ‘Peaky Blinders’
    She's having a laugh: Britain's female comedians have never had it so good

    She's having a laugh

    Britain's female comedians have never had it so good, says stand-up Natalie Haynes
    Sistine Chapel to ‘sing’ with new LED lights designed to bring Michelangelo’s masterpiece out of the shadows

    Let there be light

    Sistine Chapel to ‘sing’ with new LEDs designed to bring Michelangelo’s masterpiece out of the shadows
    Great British Bake Off, semi-final, review: Richard remains the baker to beat

    Tensions rise in Bake Off's pastry week

    Richard remains the baker to beat as Chetna begins to flake
    Paris Fashion Week, spring/summer 2015: Time travel fashion at Louis Vuitton in Paris

    A look to the future

    It's time travel fashion at Louis Vuitton in Paris
    The 10 best bedspreads

    The 10 best bedspreads

    Before you up the tog count on your duvet, add an extra layer and a room-changing piece to your bed this autumn
    Arsenal vs Galatasaray: Five things we learnt from the Emirates

    Arsenal vs Galatasaray

    Five things we learnt from the Gunners' Champions League victory at the Emirates
    Stuart Lancaster’s long-term deal makes sense – a rarity for a decision taken by the RFU

    Lancaster’s long-term deal makes sense – a rarity for a decision taken by the RFU

    This deal gives England a head-start to prepare for 2019 World Cup, says Chris Hewett
    Ebola outbreak: The children orphaned by the virus – then rejected by surviving relatives over fear of infection

    The children orphaned by Ebola...

    ... then rejected by surviving relatives over fear of infection
    Pride: Are censors pandering to homophobia?

    Are censors pandering to homophobia?

    US film censors have ruled 'Pride' unfit for under-16s, though it contains no sex or violence
    The magic of roundabouts

    Lords of the rings

    Just who are the Roundabout Appreciation Society?