e-mail > female

From: ClarissaH@greatestates.co.uk

anna, would you sleep with bill clinton?

conducted a quick straw poll around flat. christina says yes definitely. jon says only if he asked nicely. i'm undecided. wd have done so last week, now have gone off him since he turned all weedy and red-eyed. i think i'd rather have hillary.

what do you think? love Cxxx

From annahowe@richardsons.com

answer=yes in that wd not turn down chance to sleep with leader of free world instead of usual world of freeloaders. i think you'll find most people agree with me. Check.


From ClarissaH

did as you suggested, asked everyone at work (so far yes=11, no=5). didn't realise hated boss man mr solmes ("call me roger. i do allow it") was lurking.

"Clarissa," he said. "Glad to see you are focusing on selling that tricky W11 property."

oh damn.

"many people have remarked on my similarity to president clinton," he leered and sauntered off. urggghhhh. only similarity is his crappy chat- up lines. wouldn't go anywhere near his oval office.

From annahowe

more people went for hillary here.

maybe solmes fancies u. hahaha.

From ClarissaH

god no! i've now got another black mark against my name. i know i hate doing this job but how humiliating to get sacked from something you're doing as a stop-gap.

cheer me up quick. Cxxx

From annahowe

look on the bright side. if christina told u she'd sleep with Clinton it means u r on speaking terms again.

From ClarissaH

um, it's a bit hairy to be honest, in reality flat warfare simmering nicely because no one will confess to brie theft. god you wd have thought that christina had lost a family heirloom the way she carried on. shd have listened to yr warnings about moving in.

From annahowe

you forget how well i know u. have to say brie theft seems oddly familiar.

From ClarissaH

ok it was actually me but it's the only time i've nicked anything of hers so if i come clean she will think i am demon milksnatcher, moisturiser thief and video spook. see my problem?

From annahowe

ok point taken. how is home life anyway?

From ClarissaH

u know christina. came home last night she was on the phone again lounging in the sitting room, a curl of smoke emanating from the side of her mouth (why can't i do that???) and saying "But you must only show the gin the shadow of the vermouth bottle to make a really good martini")

quite clever actually - i know she can't afford to buy any more vermouth at the moment. i wish i cd think of things like that.

at the same time might have to kill her. she spends all her time laughing about estate agents and how unpopular they are when all i want to say is "so how did your interview with Procter & Gamble go? Oh bad luck"

of course i don't say anything like that. i wd hate myself. shouldn't even think it. guilt, guilt, guilt. i must be nicer to her.

From annahowe

ignore her. she just enjoys trying to wind u up.

From ClarissaH

i know i know. in therapy Andrea says i've got to learn to channel my inner anger better. nearly channeled it towards her when she tried to charge me pounds 25 for something purporting to be a crystal which looked like a bit of broken glass from a candlestick holder.


From ClarissaH

in fact if i remember rightly i gave her a candlestick holder for her last birthday. right i'm doing a subtle check of her flat next time.

Oh God, Jon's just rung. He's bringing his new token straight mate Rob round to the flat tonight. so much for night in tracksuit eating tuna pasta. what's worse jon sniggered: "rob says he thinks he knows u very well. he says to say remember sasha's party."

oh no it cdn't be him, cd it?

Life and Style
“What is it like being a girl?” was the question on the lips of one inquisitive Reddit user this week
peopleDave Legeno, the actor who played werewolf Fenrir Greyback in the Harry Potter films, has died
Arts and Entertainment
Armando Iannucci, the creator of 'The Thick of It' says he has
tvArmando Iannucci to concentrate on US show Veep
Life and Style
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Life and Style
ebookA wonderful selection of salads, starters and mains featuring venison, grouse and other game
Luis Suarez looks towards the crowd during the 2-1 victory over England
Life and Style
Swimsuit, £245, by Agent Provocateur

Diving in at the deep end is no excuse for shirking the style stakes

German supporters (left) and Argentina fans
world cup 2014Final gives England fans a choice between to old enemies
Arts and Entertainment
A still from the worldwide Dawn of the Planet of the Apes trailer debut
peopleMario Balotelli poses with 'shotgun' in controversial Instagram pic
A mugshot of Ian Watkins released by South Wales Police following his guilty pleas
peopleBandmates open up about abuse
Basketball superstar LeBron James gets into his stride for the Cleveland Cavaliers
sportNBA superstar announces decision to return to Cleveland Cavaliers
Javier Mascherano of Argentina tackles Arjen Robben of the Netherlands as he attempts a shot
world cup 2014
Arts and Entertainment
The successful ITV drama Broadchurch starring David Tenant and Olivia Coleman came to an end tonight
Four ski officials in Slovenia have been suspended following allegations of results rigging
sportFour Slovenian officials suspended after allegations they helped violinist get slalom place
14 March 2011: George Clooney testifies before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee during a hearing titled 'Sudan and South Sudan: Independence and Insecurity.' Clooney is co-founder of the Satellite Sentinel Project which uses private satellites to collect evidence of crimes against civilian populations in Sudan
Arts and Entertainment
Balaban is indirectly responsible for the existence of Downton Abbey, having first discovered Julian Fellowes' talents as a screenwriter
tvCast members told to lose weight after snacking on set
Life and Style
More than half of young adults have engaged in 'unwanted but consensual sexting with a committed partner,' according to research
Life and Style
A binge is classed as four or more alcoholic drinks for women and five or more for men, consumed over a roughly two-hour period
Travel Shop
the manor
Up to 70% off luxury travel
on city breaks Find out more
Up to 70% off luxury travel
on chic beach resorts Find out more
sardina foodie
Up to 70% off luxury travel
on country retreats Find out more
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

ES Rentals

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs General

    JavaScript Developer (Angular, Web Forms, HTML5, Ext JS,CSS3)

    £40000 - £45000 per annum + Benefits + Bonus: Harrington Starr: JavaScript Dev...


    £50000 - £70000 per annum: Harrington Starr: Business Analyst Consultant (Fina...

    SAP Data Migration Consultant

    competitive: Progressive Recruitment: My client, a FTSE 100 organisation are u...

    Programme Support, Coms, Bristol, £300-350p/d

    £300 - £350 per day + competitive: Orgtel: My client, a leading bank, is curre...

    Day In a Page

    A History of the First World War in 100 Moments: Peace without magnanimity - the summit in a railway siding that ended the fighting

    A History of the First World War in 100 Moments

    Peace without magnanimity - the summit in a railway siding that ended the fighting
    Scottish independence: How the Commonwealth Games could swing the vote

    Scottish independence: How the Commonwealth Games could swing the vote

    In the final part of our series, Chris Green arrives in Glasgow - a host city struggling to keep the politics out of its celebration of sport
    Out in the cold: A writer spends a night on the streets and hears the stories of the homeless

    A writer spends a night on the streets

    Rough sleepers - the homeless, the destitute and the drunk - exist in every city. Will Nicoll meets those whose luck has run out
    Striking new stations, high-speed links and (whisper it) better services - the UK's railways are entering a new golden age

    UK's railways are entering a new golden age

    New stations are opening across the country and our railways appear to be entering an era not seen in Britain since the early 1950s
    Conchita Wurst becomes a 'bride' on the Paris catwalk - and proves there is life after Eurovision

    Conchita becomes a 'bride' on Paris catwalk

    Alexander Fury salutes the Eurovision Song Contest winner's latest triumph
    Pétanque World Championship in Marseilles hit by

    Pétanque 'world cup' hit by death threats

    This year's most acrimonious sporting event took place in France, not Brazil. How did pétanque get so passionate?
    Whelks are healthy, versatile and sustainable - so why did we stop eating them in the UK?

    Why did we stop eating whelks?

    Whelks were the Victorian equivalent of the donor kebab and our stocks are abundant. So why do we now export them all to the Far East?
    10 best women's sunglasses

    In the shade: 10 best women's sunglasses

    From luxury bespoke eyewear to fun festival sunnies, we round up the shades to be seen in this summer
    Germany vs Argentina World Cup 2014: Lionel Messi? Javier Mascherano is key for Argentina...

    World Cup final: Messi? Mascherano is key for Argentina...

    No 10 is always centre of attention but Barça team-mate is just as crucial to finalists’ hopes
    Siobhan-Marie O’Connor: Swimmer knows she needs Glasgow joy on road to Rio

    Siobhan-Marie O’Connor: Swimmer needs Glasgow joy on road to Rio

    18-year-old says this month’s Commonwealth Games are a key staging post in her career before time slips away
    The true Gaza back-story that the Israelis aren’t telling this week

    The true Gaza back-story that the Israelis aren’t telling this week

    A future Palestine state will have no borders and be an enclave within Israel, surrounded on all sides by Israeli-held territory, says Robert Fisk
    A History of the First World War in 100 Moments: The German people demand an end to the fighting

    A History of the First World War in 100 Moments

    The German people demand an end to the fighting
    New play by Oscar Wilde's grandson reveals what the Irish wit said at his trials

    New play reveals what Oscar Wilde said at trials

    For a century, what Wilde actually said at his trials was a mystery. But the recent discovery of shorthand notes changed that. Now his grandson Merlin Holland has turned them into a play
    Can scientists save the world's sea life from

    Can scientists save our sea life?

    By the end of the century, the only living things left in our oceans could be plankton and jellyfish. Alex Renton meets the scientists who are trying to turn the tide
    Richard III, Trafalgar Studios, review: Martin Freeman gives highly intelligent performance

    Richard III review

    Martin Freeman’s psychotic monarch is big on mockery but wanting in malice