e-mail > female
Thursday 29 January 1998
anna, would you sleep with bill clinton?
conducted a quick straw poll around flat. christina says yes definitely. jon says only if he asked nicely. i'm undecided. wd have done so last week, now have gone off him since he turned all weedy and red-eyed. i think i'd rather have hillary.
what do you think? love Cxxx
answer=yes in that wd not turn down chance to sleep with leader of free world instead of usual world of freeloaders. i think you'll find most people agree with me. Check.
did as you suggested, asked everyone at work (so far yes=11, no=5). didn't realise hated boss man mr solmes ("call me roger. i do allow it") was lurking.
"Clarissa," he said. "Glad to see you are focusing on selling that tricky W11 property."
"many people have remarked on my similarity to president clinton," he leered and sauntered off. urggghhhh. only similarity is his crappy chat- up lines. wouldn't go anywhere near his oval office.
more people went for hillary here.
maybe solmes fancies u. hahaha.
god no! i've now got another black mark against my name. i know i hate doing this job but how humiliating to get sacked from something you're doing as a stop-gap.
cheer me up quick. Cxxx
look on the bright side. if christina told u she'd sleep with Clinton it means u r on speaking terms again.
um, it's a bit hairy to be honest, in reality flat warfare simmering nicely because no one will confess to brie theft. god you wd have thought that christina had lost a family heirloom the way she carried on. shd have listened to yr warnings about moving in.
you forget how well i know u. have to say brie theft seems oddly familiar.
ok it was actually me but it's the only time i've nicked anything of hers so if i come clean she will think i am demon milksnatcher, moisturiser thief and video spook. see my problem?
ok point taken. how is home life anyway?
u know christina. came home last night she was on the phone again lounging in the sitting room, a curl of smoke emanating from the side of her mouth (why can't i do that???) and saying "But you must only show the gin the shadow of the vermouth bottle to make a really good martini")
quite clever actually - i know she can't afford to buy any more vermouth at the moment. i wish i cd think of things like that.
at the same time might have to kill her. she spends all her time laughing about estate agents and how unpopular they are when all i want to say is "so how did your interview with Procter & Gamble go? Oh bad luck"
of course i don't say anything like that. i wd hate myself. shouldn't even think it. guilt, guilt, guilt. i must be nicer to her.
ignore her. she just enjoys trying to wind u up.
i know i know. in therapy Andrea says i've got to learn to channel my inner anger better. nearly channeled it towards her when she tried to charge me pounds 25 for something purporting to be a crystal which looked like a bit of broken glass from a candlestick holder.
in fact if i remember rightly i gave her a candlestick holder for her last birthday. right i'm doing a subtle check of her flat next time.
Oh God, Jon's just rung. He's bringing his new token straight mate Rob round to the flat tonight. so much for night in tracksuit eating tuna pasta. what's worse jon sniggered: "rob says he thinks he knows u very well. he says to say remember sasha's party."
oh no it cdn't be him, cd it?
Life & Style blogs
The high-powered dream team trying to create a stiletto shoe as comfy as a trainer
Apple MacBook review: preposterously thin and extravagantly attractive, this is the best-designed laptop Apple has ever made
How Old Do I Look: Microsoft’s super advanced age-guessing app is terrible at guessing how old celebrities are, too
What do the emoji on Snapchat mean?
The 12 most sexually satisfied countries in the world revealed
Over 50,000 families shipped out of London boroughs in the past three years due to welfare cuts and soaring rents
EU asylum policy is 'a direct threat to our civilisation', says Nigel Farage
Indonesia executions live: 'Hysterical' families heard prisoners being shot dead by firing squad
General Election 2015: SNP and its activists 'openly racist' towards the English, Farage says
EU exit would hit UK economy much harder than neighbouring countries, study finds
General Election 2015: UK will be 'run for the wealthy and powerful' if Tories retain power, Labour warns
- 1 Which country would be hardest to invade?
- 2 The man who filmed the Freddie Gray video has been arrested at gunpoint
- 4 Floyd Mayweather's mouthguard costs $25,000 - enough to fly to Las Vegas and back 18 times
- 5 Royal baby girl born: Duchess of Cambridge's second child will be a princess thanks to Queen
£28000 - £45000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Senior Digital Marketing Cons...
£16640 - £18500 per annum: Recruitment Genius: An Assistant Stores Keeper is r...
£16000 - £18500 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is an excellent opportunit...
£17000 - £30000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Developer required to join a bu...