e-mail > female

From: ClarissaH@greatestates.co.uk

anna, would you sleep with bill clinton?

conducted a quick straw poll around flat. christina says yes definitely. jon says only if he asked nicely. i'm undecided. wd have done so last week, now have gone off him since he turned all weedy and red-eyed. i think i'd rather have hillary.

what do you think? love Cxxx

From annahowe@richardsons.com

answer=yes in that wd not turn down chance to sleep with leader of free world instead of usual world of freeloaders. i think you'll find most people agree with me. Check.


From ClarissaH

did as you suggested, asked everyone at work (so far yes=11, no=5). didn't realise hated boss man mr solmes ("call me roger. i do allow it") was lurking.

"Clarissa," he said. "Glad to see you are focusing on selling that tricky W11 property."

oh damn.

"many people have remarked on my similarity to president clinton," he leered and sauntered off. urggghhhh. only similarity is his crappy chat- up lines. wouldn't go anywhere near his oval office.

From annahowe

more people went for hillary here.

maybe solmes fancies u. hahaha.

From ClarissaH

god no! i've now got another black mark against my name. i know i hate doing this job but how humiliating to get sacked from something you're doing as a stop-gap.

cheer me up quick. Cxxx

From annahowe

look on the bright side. if christina told u she'd sleep with Clinton it means u r on speaking terms again.

From ClarissaH

um, it's a bit hairy to be honest, in reality flat warfare simmering nicely because no one will confess to brie theft. god you wd have thought that christina had lost a family heirloom the way she carried on. shd have listened to yr warnings about moving in.

From annahowe

you forget how well i know u. have to say brie theft seems oddly familiar.

From ClarissaH

ok it was actually me but it's the only time i've nicked anything of hers so if i come clean she will think i am demon milksnatcher, moisturiser thief and video spook. see my problem?

From annahowe

ok point taken. how is home life anyway?

From ClarissaH

u know christina. came home last night she was on the phone again lounging in the sitting room, a curl of smoke emanating from the side of her mouth (why can't i do that???) and saying "But you must only show the gin the shadow of the vermouth bottle to make a really good martini")

quite clever actually - i know she can't afford to buy any more vermouth at the moment. i wish i cd think of things like that.

at the same time might have to kill her. she spends all her time laughing about estate agents and how unpopular they are when all i want to say is "so how did your interview with Procter & Gamble go? Oh bad luck"

of course i don't say anything like that. i wd hate myself. shouldn't even think it. guilt, guilt, guilt. i must be nicer to her.

From annahowe

ignore her. she just enjoys trying to wind u up.

From ClarissaH

i know i know. in therapy Andrea says i've got to learn to channel my inner anger better. nearly channeled it towards her when she tried to charge me pounds 25 for something purporting to be a crystal which looked like a bit of broken glass from a candlestick holder.


From ClarissaH

in fact if i remember rightly i gave her a candlestick holder for her last birthday. right i'm doing a subtle check of her flat next time.

Oh God, Jon's just rung. He's bringing his new token straight mate Rob round to the flat tonight. so much for night in tracksuit eating tuna pasta. what's worse jon sniggered: "rob says he thinks he knows u very well. he says to say remember sasha's party."

oh no it cdn't be him, cd it?

Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Life and Style
ebookNow available in paperback
ebookPart of The Independent’s new eBook series The Great Composers
  • Get to the point
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

ES Rentals

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs General

    Recruitment Genius: Senior Digital Marketing Consultant

    £28000 - £45000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Senior Digital Marketing Cons...

    Recruitment Genius: Assistant Stores Keeper

    £16640 - £18500 per annum: Recruitment Genius: An Assistant Stores Keeper is r...

    Recruitment Genius: Claims Administrator

    £16000 - £18500 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is an excellent opportunit...

    Recruitment Genius: Software Developer - C# / ASP.NET / SQL

    £17000 - £30000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Developer required to join a bu...

    Day In a Page

    'It was first time I had ever tasted chocolate. I kept a piece, and when Amsterdam was liberated, I gave it to the first Allied soldier I saw'

    Bread from heaven

    Dutch survivors thank RAF for World War II drop that saved millions
    Britain will be 'run for the wealthy and powerful' if Tories retain power - Labour

    How 'the Axe' helped Labour

    UK will be 'run for the wealthy and powerful' if Tories retain power
    Rare and exclusive video shows the horrific price paid by activists for challenging the rule of jihadist extremists in Syria

    The price to be paid for challenging the rule of extremists

    A revolution now 'consuming its own children'
    Welcome to the world of Megagames

    Welcome to the world of Megagames

    300 players take part in Watch the Skies! board game in London
    'Nymphomaniac' actress reveals what it was really like to star in one of the most explicit films ever

    Charlotte Gainsbourg on 'Nymphomaniac'

    Starring in one of the most explicit films ever
    Robert Fisk in Abu Dhabi: The Emirates' out-of-sight migrant workers helping to build the dream projects of its rulers

    Robert Fisk in Abu Dhabi

    The Emirates' out-of-sight migrant workers helping to build the dream projects of its rulers
    Vince Cable interview: Charging fees for employment tribunals was 'a very bad move'

    Vince Cable exclusive interview

    Charging fees for employment tribunals was 'a very bad move'
    Iwan Rheon interview: Game of Thrones star returns to his Welsh roots to record debut album

    Iwan Rheon is returning to his Welsh roots

    Rheon is best known for his role as the Bastard of Bolton. It's gruelling playing a sadistic torturer, he tells Craig McLean, but it hasn't stopped him recording an album of Welsh psychedelia
    Russell Brand's interview with Ed Miliband has got everyone talking about The Trews

    Everyone is talking about The Trews

    Russell Brand's 'true news' videos attract millions of viewers. But today's 'Milibrand' interview introduced his resolutely amateurish style to a whole new crowd
    Morne Hardenberg interview: Cameraman for BBC's upcoming show Shark on filming the ocean's most dangerous predator

    It's time for my close-up

    Meet the man who films great whites for a living
    Increasing numbers of homeless people in America keep their mobile phones on the streets

    Homeless people keep mobile phones

    A homeless person with a smartphone is a common sight in the US. And that's creating a network where the 'hobo' community can share information - and fight stigma - like never before
    'Queer saint' Peter Watson left his mark on British culture by bankrolling artworld giants

    'Queer saint' who bankrolled artworld giants

    British culture owes a huge debt to Peter Watson, says Michael Prodger
    Pushkin Prizes: Unusual exchange programme aims to bring countries together through culture

    Pushkin Prizes brings countries together

    Ten Scottish schoolchildren and their Russian peers attended a creative writing workshop in the Highlands this week
    14 best kids' hoodies

    14 best kids' hoodies

    Don't get caught out by that wind on the beach. Zip them up in a lightweight top to see them through summer to autumn
    Robert Fisk in Abu Dhabi: The acceptable face of the Emirates

    The acceptable face of the Emirates

    Has Abu Dhabi found a way to blend petrodollars with principles, asks Robert Fisk